The Acid Eaters (1968)

Director: Byron Mabe

Starring: Buck Kartalian, Ernie F. Orsatti, Bob Wren, John McCloud, Pat Barrington, Judy Wood, Sharon Carr, Bambi Allen

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Does She...Or Doesn't She...? Only "The Acid Eaters" Know for Sure!

Plot: Three hippie couples leave their 9 to 5 routine behind to drive their motorcycles out to the middle of nowhere and take a lot of acid. Once completely wasted, there is topless swimming, nude body painting, girls sinking in quicksand, a topless knife fight, run-ins with Indian pimps, and sex on a pyramid. Things begin to get weird though once the couples actually go inside the pyramid and the acid really starts to kick in. Suddenly Buck Kartalian turns into the Devil (complete with pointy goatee) and pokes people with a plastic pitchfork while they have sex and dance around topless.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

I'm not sure about this but I think I'M the one whose supposed to have dropped acid before watching this. It's just a bunch of free-wheelin' after-work thrill seekers getting naked, riding motorcycles, smoking reefers and dropping acid. Outside of that there's nothing here. It's a fun time over the weekend. Great poster, though.


It's only an hour long but it feels like forever. The humor is over the top silly but the nudity is very nice and there's plenty of it.


Seriously, I can't say this enough, body painting needs to come back.

The problem is, they're having fun and I'm not. I was mostly bored trying to figure out what was the point. The point is there is no point. It's just the highlights of a group of friends on a weekend excursion tripping balls...and meeting Satan who wears jammies.


Earlier this week I watched the 3rd volume of 60s GO-GO CHICKS which is a compilation by Something Weird Video of 1960s clips from all over the place of women dancing in various stages of undress. It's a neat aside that 3 nights later I see a movie one of those clips was culled from.


If you really want to waste your time, you can spend this hour plus another two and a half with the Something Weird Video double feature DVD that also has a very interesting documentary on grass called WEED (1972), a couple of school drug scare films and a handful of drug-related trailers, most of which aren't going to do anything for you except reach for a doobie and stare at the walls until you pass out. Lucky you.

Seven Golden Men (1965)

Director: Marco Vicario

Starring: Philippe Leroy, Rossana Podesta, Gastone Moschin, Gabriele Tinti

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They Walk, They Talk, They Crawl on Their Bellies Into Bank Vaults. And They're Mine, All Mine...

Plot: Albert, (Leroy) an incomparably brilliant, completely unflappable criminal genius, known as the Professor, has masterminded a bold and elaborate criminal operation to remove £7,000,000.00 of gold bricks from a supposedly impregnable bank vault. In this endeavor he is assisted by Adolf, Aldo, Alfonso, Alfred, Anthony and August, an international crew of thieves with specialized skills. Also on board is the Professor's delightfully amoral femme fatal girlfriend, Giorgia (Podesta).

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? What's Italian for 'no'?

This is one of those light heist/caper films that were so prevalent in the 1960s like THE ITALIAN JOB (1969) that featured a team of specialists and is completely harmless. This isn't a comedy in that there are no laughs to be found but the bouncy, catchy score (it's got that annoying, bouncy scat chorus flying all over the place - OK, I say annoying because I didn't care for this score at all. Sorry Armando Trovajoli) changes the tone completely. The Bond-inspired bank vault and gadgetry used for the caper also help put this over the top.


What's unusual, though is that the heist has just gotten underway as the film begins. We don't get any set-up or preparation - we dive right into it and it doesn't let up until the gold has been stolen and is on its way out of the country. There's some double crossing going on that almost doesn't make sense. I mean really. You steal 2 tons of gold and you want all of it for yourself instead of sharing it with 6 others? That's some greedy shit, man. It's 2 friggin' tons of gold!


Anyway, good luck finding it. It hasn't been released anywhere but Japan and you'll have to find a not-so-legit means of obtaining it and now that I've seen it, it's not worth the trouble but I will give the sequel, SEVEN GOLDEN MEN STRIKE AGAIN (1967), a go. It looks more James Bondian with the larger than life set pieces and gadgets. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this 60s Euro shit.

The Centerfold Girls (1974)

Director: John Peyser

Starring: Andrew Prine, Tiffany Bolling, Aldo Ray, Janet Wood

More info: IMDb

Tagline: the most beautiful girls in the world ... some are for loving ... some are for killing!

Plot: A depraved religious fanatic sets out to punish all the "immoral" women who have posed for the center-fold of a men's magazine.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Damn straight!

#205 on Drive-In Delierium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

TCG is told in 3 acts; 3 stories, actually. It starts off with Clement Dunne (deliciously played by Andrew Prine) disposing of a very lovely corpse...


then begins the first full story. Dunne is following his next victim, Jackie. She picks up a young hitchhiker, Linda, and takes her to her cabin in the woods so Linda isn't stranded. The hitchhiker had other plans. Linda's pals (two female, one male) are also following her. During the night, Linda's friends raucously make themselves at home and it's soon clear to Jackie this isn't going to end pretty and the movie suddenly becomes a home invasion picture. They harass the shit out of her and attempt rape.


She escapes and makes her way to the office of the campground that's run by an older married couple.


The husband escorts her safely back to her cabin, making sure no one is around (he called the police earlier and they were going to show up at some point). The old man starts talking trash to her like she's a two bit whore and attempts to rape her but he stops short of doing it because she's so distraught and tired of fighting she just lays down to take it. He won't go through with it because it's too easy. He wanted her to put up a fight. He leaves and then Dunne shows up...and kills her with a knife!


With me so far? This is turning out to be one surprising picture!



The next story has Charlene going to a secluded island with other professionals for a photography shoot. There's lots of in-fighting going on between everyone. Charlene wants to get ahead in the business and she respectfully asks the high powered guy there (I forget his name) to help her out. He agrees to put her in touch with the right people but she's going to have to fuck him and then give him 10% of everything she will ever make from these contacts. It's worth noting that EVERY SINGLE MALE in this movie is horrible to women. It's bad. Hell, I'd almost say that, with the exception of the centerfold victims, everyone's really really bad. Most of the women don't fare much better than the guys. Dunne shows up and kills all 5 or 6 of them, one by one. This story feels very much like a giallo thriller - like an early slasher film.



Next we get Vera's story. She's an airline stewardess taking a break. Through a series of events she suspects she's being stalked and senses the real danger it could lead to. She takes off in her car and, along a mountainous California hwy, she gets a blowout with Dunne not too far behind. Luckily for Vera, a couple of young sailors stop by to help her out. She gets in their car and everything seems pleasant enough. They're nice young Navy boys. Unluckily for her, they take her to a hotel room and rape her. The next morning she wakes up in a hospital room, with Dunne standing over her. He was waiting outside the hotel room waiting for the sailors to leave and he took her to the hospital posing as a good samaritan.


Since Vera only ever heard Dunne's voice over the phone she doesn't realize the danger she's in until it's too late. They're chatting it up all friendly like in the car and Dunne pulls up to a gas station to buy a big ass hunting knife. Vera suddenly sees the big picture and it's a fight in the woods where only one comes out alive.


Prine is fantastically creepy as our star killer. Everyone else pales a little bit (except for some of the centerfold girls who did fine jobs, too) but that's OK because this movie has the kinds of characters and acting that you'd expect to find in a low budget psychedelic thriller exploitation pictures that came out in the 60s and 70s. It's also LOADED with nudity. The big difference here is this one's really good, well made and shocking. I'm really surprised it was as good as it was. If you're in the mood for something different but in the line of a flick like THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) or I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978) I'd give this one a look-see. It's a beaut of an exploitationer.

Blacula (1972)

Director: William Crain

Starring: William Marshall, Vonetta McGee, Denise Nicholas, Thalmus Rasulula

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Blacula! - Dracula's Soul Brother!

Plot: Highly sophisticated African Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall) gets bitten by Count Dracula, and his fate is sealed forevermore as a vampire. Two centuries later, Mamuwalde is unwittingly transported to modern-day Los Angeles.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? YES!

#120 on Drive-In Delierium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

Just watch the opening credits and laugh your ass off!

So far, of the 70s Blaxploitation horror flicks I've seen, this one is neck and neck as good as ABBY (1974) and leagues better than BLACKENSTEIN (1973). BLACULA is an interesting film because it succeeds a both a Blaxploitation flick and a horror flick and that's not an easy thing to do. The performances are fun, the music (Gene Page) is great (it's strange, though, watching a horror movie with such a funky soundtrack), there's plenty of action, some great kills (Elisha Cook's death is particularly nice) and a surprising amount of humor.

Let's see...today I think I'll dress left.

William Marshall plays a great vampire. He's tall (6'5"), imposing and has a great deep voice. The rest of the cast does fine, too but without a good lead, you've got nothing.


BLACULA is a gas and I can't wait to watch the sequel, SCREAM BLACULA SCREAM (1973). If it's anywhere near the fun as this one it'll be worth it. William Marshall is back and Pam Grier's in it.

Love at First Bite (1979)

Director: Stan Dragoti

Starring: George Hamilton, Susan Saint James, Richard Benjamin, Dick Shawn, Arte Johnson, Sherman Hemsley, Isabel Sanford

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Your favorite pain in the neck is about to bite your funny bone!

Plot: This vampire spoof has Count Dracula moving to New York to find his Bride, after being forced to move out of his Transylvanian castle. There with the aid of assistant Renfield, he stumbles through typical New York city life situations while pursuing Cindy Soundheim. But her boyfriend, Doctor Jeff Rosenberg, realizes she is under the influence of a vampire, and tries his bumbling best to convince police Lt Ferguson of what is going on, and to help him stop Dracula.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe around the year 2040.

Ah, the 70s!

This isn't as good as I remembered it...but then that was 30 years ago when I was 12. What didn't work for me:

- The opening business in Transylvania was weak and silly (compared to the New York stuff)
- The GREAT comic character actor, Dick Shawn, was wasted in a role that didn't give him hardly anything to do.
- For some reason the song "I Love the Nightlife" was replaced with a very lame and far less appropriate song during the Dracula disco dance scene. That's just wrong for so many reasons. The title alone perfectly fits Dracula.

Here's the version you get on the DVD (it starts at about the 3 minute mark)...

and here's the original version...

What did work:

- George Hamilton was great.
- Richard Benjamin easily had the most laughs, best part and most fun. He's hilarious.
- The inclusion (in different scenes) of George & Weezy (Sherman Hemsley & Isabel Sanford).
- The following clip with my favorite bit...

"Look! It's a chicken!" Classic.



I realize it's been a good 30 years since I last saw this and I was a kid then but I expected a little more. If you don't mind goofy comedies (especially from the disco days of the late 70s) it's definitely worth your while. Richard Benjamin has some great moments and his energy is a real shot in the arm. I shudder to think what this picture would be like with anyone else in that role. It's cute but not nearly the pain in the neck it could've been. Ahahahahahaha. Ugh.

Blackenstein (1973)

Director: William A. Levey

Starring: John Hart, Ivory Stone, Joe De Sue, Roosevelt Jackson, Andrea King

More info: IMDb

Tagline: To Stop This Mutha Takes One Bad Brutha

Plot: Eddie is a Vietnam veteran who loses his arms and legs when he steps on a land mine, but a brilliant surgeon is able to attach new limbs. Unfortunately an insanely jealous assistant (who has fallen in love with Eddie's fiance) switches Eddie's DNA injections, transforming him into a gigantic killer.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? NOOOOOOOO!


Tomorrow night the gang's coming over to watch BLACULA (1972) and since I recently watched ABBY (1974) (aka THE BLAXORCIST) it seemed like a good idea to get BLACKENSTEIN out of the way. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Not even a small group drinking and raggin' on it can save this picture. Oh, sure, you'll be OK for the first twenty minutes, cracking jokes and marveling at some of the worst, repetitive dialogue you'll ever hear and the looooooong shots following a character cross the room, yard, driveway, etc. That's all fine and dandy when you've only invested a few minutes laughing with your friends. Then...it happens.


The monster FINALLY starts to wreak havoc on the locals halfway through the movie. Does that mean it gets better? Yes but barely. It still takes Blackenstein A FULL MINUTE (1 minute = 60 seconds!) to go from one side of the lab to the other! He's just walking!!! FOR 60 FUCKING SECONDS!!!


It gets better. After each night of killing, he makes his way back home without being discovered. The next night he crosses the lab AGAIN but this time his girlfriend is asleep, resting her head on the table. Another minute is killed. It's dumb shit like that that pads this thing for an hour and a half. There are a few kills that are decent (one was really nice we see in shadow as Blackenstein rips off a victims arm!) but there's not much gore and very little nudity (these kinds of things help in flicks like this, you know).


ABBY was fantastic, and I remember BLACULA being pretty good (I'll find out again tomorrow night) but BLACKENSTEIN's got to go. The castle was great, the original FRANKENSTEIN (1931) lab equipment was great (see how they use the lighting to create shadows making it look like they've got more shit in the room than they had? That's a really good idea) but the script was minimal and the scant amount of blood and boobs make this one easy to pass up.


It's not worth the suffering. Alcohol can only help so much. You don't want to see this. Despite a fantastic title, not much was done with what little they had, which is a shame because this has the potential of being a great exploitation classic but someone blew it.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Director: Rupert Wyatt

Starring: Andy Serkis, James Franco, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox

More Info: IMDb

Tagline: Evolution Ends. Revolution Begins.

Plot: An origin story set in present day San Francisco, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy.

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I LOVE the original film and I very much like the four sequels. Tim Burton's remake spat on all of that so I have every right to be skeptical...that is until I saw this extended clip three weeks ago.

VIEW CLIP THAT SOME ASSHOLE SOMEWHERE WON'T MAKE THIS EMBEDDABLE

That's some powerful stuff. After this tiny bit I was convinced this could be a home run. If they are able to create emotion like that AND out of context and they put that much care into this film, there's hope yet.


I fully expected to sit there for two hours with cinematic poo being flung at me. I couldn't have been more wrong. RISE is a triumph. I cried (several times) and felt pride, sorrow, elation, pity and anger - all because of a CG chimp! Andy Serkis had better get an Oscar nomination out of this because between him and WETA, they accomplished something a lot of humans couldn't do. The entire cast and crew pulled off something I didn't think possible. I have never cheered so hard for the downfall and destruction of the human race.


It's only been a few days since I saw it but I'm ready for another go at it. RISE is spectacular film making. Caesar's journey is as natural and logical as can be. There are no huge leaps of suspension of disbelief. The events that happen make sense. I don't believe I have been this impatient and excited to see the sequel since 1980 after seeing THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK for the first time. I'm not saying RISE is that good but it's a damn fine film and one I wouldn't have expected from a studio who allowed Tim Burton's colossal fuckup once before. RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES is hands down the best genre film of the year.