Monday, February 15, 2016

SpiderBabe (2003)

Director: Johnny Crash

Writers: John Paul Fedele, Terry M. West

Composer: ???

Starring: Erin Brown (as Misty Mundae), Julian Wells, Darian Caine, Adam Cox, Christine Domaniecki, Peter Quarry, Michael R. Thomas, Shelby Taylor, John Link, Justin Wingenfeld, John Paul Fedele

More info: IMDb

Plot: A socially awkward young woman gets bitten by a radioactive spider and becomes a crime-fighting superhero and tries to defeat a nefarious super villain while going after any man (or woman) she wants to bed down with.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Bad acting, writing, dialogue, sound (the microphones picked up WAY too much sound like you can hear the juices in people's mouths every time they move their jaws to speak), cheesy synthesizer music and static camera shots don't necessarily mean that it's so bad it's good.  This one isn't although it's trying to be.  Imagine SPIDER-MAN as a cheap softcore porno but without the sotfcore porn bits to make it at least a little more interesting.  There's some nudity and lesbian action but it's really weak and brief.   It hits a lot of the beats of the Spider-Man origin story (as told in the 2002 film) and they at least try to make it amusing but most of the joke fall flat.  The cheapness of the whole film works against it.  8 year olds will find it funny but they'd just watch it for the tits.  Hell, even the DVD is poorly produced.  Every time the songs or music takes over in volume there's a strange fluctuation as if someone is rapidly turning the sound up and down and back again, over and over.  I'm sure everyone involved had a great time making this and I'm glad they got paid for it.  The Ventura DVD has a lot of extras.  After all of that, there is one thing that I liked in this picture...

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