Hot Summer in Barefoot County (1974)

Director: Will Zens

Starring: Nobodys. A bunch of fucking horrible no-talent nobody "actors". (If you were actually in the movie and you're reading this, this doesn't apply to you. You were wonderful. Fantastic. You're the only reason I watched this white mold-encrusted turd.

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: There's only two rules in Barefoot County--Love thy neighbor and do unto others!




Plot: A city cop is sent out to the country to go undercover and bust up a ring of moonshiners run by a woman and her three hot teenage daughters.

My Rating: 2.5/10

Would I watch this again? How dare you ask me that!



There's only one rule in watching BAREFOOT COUNTY--Kill me now! I couldn't find a trailer for it online. You're better for it. Trust me.

What's worse than a bad action movie? A bad comedy. What's worse than a bad comedy? A bad drama. What's worse than a bad drama? HOT SUMMER IN BAREFOOT COUNTY. Boy, is this bad. I'd like to think that I can find something good in anything. Seriously, the ONLY thing good about this, uh, movie is the poster and that's no lie, brother.

My face actually contorted to this very expression by the end of the film! It's like someone farted and I knew it wasn't me but felt totally guilty anyway and accepted the blame.

This is 90 minutes of "when's it gonna get good?". It doesn't. And then you start to cry.


The acting is atrocious. I'm a stickler for a decent Southern accent and these people are horrible. It's about as offensive as Madonna's 98-year-old penis arms.


The sheriff and his deputy have GOT to be the dumbest Southern cops in movie history. You thought Enis from THE DUKES OF HAZZARD was stupid? He's a fucking Rhodes Scholar compared to these two. The picture opens with a high speed chase and the sheriff, a VERY poor man's Bud Spencer, looks like he's afraid to drive!


The music is bad, stereotypical country (and not even the so-bad-it's-good) music. And if all of this shittinest isn't enough, there's plenty of cartoon-y sound effects for all kinds of special moments like when the deputy falls down and we get the slide-whistle/timpani boink. Does it even matter any more that this is an early Troma picture? After this and MOTHER'S DAY (1980), I'm not going to go out of my way to see another.

Here's our studly hero...

and his sexy prey...

The two lovebirds start making out by the lake and the kissing starts. She's digging it and she's giving as much as she's taking but as soon as his hand moves from her neck to the top of her breast she shoves him away. "Why, Jeff, I thought you weren't like those other boys. I thought you were different." Why, Jeff, you fucking pig. How dare you! You should know that when a girl is making out with you (and don't forget that you both love each other), all hot and heavy like by the lake, you can't expect to move your hand down four inches to her breast and expect to get away with it! I mean, WTF man?




Say, that reminds me. Your probably sayin', "Hey, Scorethefilm! Sure it's a shitty-ass movie but there's lots of nudity, right?" Fuck no. There's barely any if you can even call it that. A Russ Meyer film this ain't! Don't waste your time. And this bullshit is rated "R"! "R" for Ripoff, that is.

There's your nudity, boys. Move along 'cause there's nothin' to see here.

As you can see, it ends happily ever after for everyone except the viewer. Please avoid this. I imagine it's on par with watching every...single...episode of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD to find out which episode was the worst and then having to write your doctoral thesis on how it's possible that something so shitty could ever get made.

I've got access to some cool looking cars, big-ass moonshine jugs, GREAT Southern locales and I know plenty of people who can do the Southern accent justice. Just get me a camera and some girls who are willing to at least get topless and I'll make a better fucking movie than this. It's THAT bad!