Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)


Director: Joe Lynch

Writers: Turi Meyer, Al Septien

Composer: Bear McCreary

Starring: Henry Rollins, Erica Leerhsen, Texas Battle, Aleksa Palladino, Daniella Alonso, Steve Braun, Matthew Currie Holmes, Crystal "If I get naked and die in the forest, do I make a sound? Does anybody care?" Lowe

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: In the Forest, Only They Can Hear You Scream.

Plot: Retired military commander Colonel Dale Murphy (Rollins) hosts the simulated post-apocalyptic reality show where participants are challenged to survive a remote West Virginia wasteland. But the show turns into a nightmarish showdown when each realizes they are being hunted by an inbred family of cannibals determined to make them all dinner!






My Rating: 4/10
Would I watch it again? Hell, no! I'd rather synchronize-swim in a pool of my own sick.

There are really only two reasons to watch this movie. 1) Henry Rollins is fantastic and 2) That stuck-up bitch you see at the beginning of the trailer? In the first 6 minutes of the movie she gets cut in half - VERTICALLY! Rollins gets 3 of my points and the cool death gets the other.





I haven't seen the first one. I only watched this one because I heard it was way better than the first. I've already wasted 90 minutes watching the damn thing so I really don't want to spend any more time by talking about it except that my future self will read this just before he (I) pops it into the player because his memory is shit and he'll probably think to himself, "I like Henry Rollins. He kicked ass in that movie. Oh, and then there's the broad with the split personality (as he laughs at himself for the retarded pun he just thought up only he didn't "just" think it up because I thought of it first just now)." This written testament will serve as a warning so that he (I) will not waste any more of his (my) life.

I've got just one word for this movie...WTF? The hillbillies looked like mutated pigs let out of their jars. It would have been way better to at least make them look...more...like...uh...normal but slightly screwed-up humans. And where the hell was the acting in this thing? When the best acting in your movie is by an aging punk rocker...that tells me one thing. You at least were smart enough to hire an aging punk rocker to star in your film. Henry Rollins owns this picture. He's got talent which is more than any of the others can say. Oh, it's so so bad. A couple of good kills and some gore and that's it. At one point I was almost envious of one of the victims at the time of their demise!

And what the hell is it with the survivors of these things that seconds after going to hell and back and almost being killed and seeing all this vicious crap they, after everything's now OK, suddenly find some stupid witty repartee to throw around like they're fucking James Bond or something? I hurt like Lindsay Lohan at a basketball game after party.

Two people live to the end of this thing and that's two-too-many!

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