The Pied Piper (1972)

Director: Jacques Demy

Writer: Robert Browning, Jacob Grimm, Wilhelm Grimm, Andrew Birkin, Jacques Demy, Mark Peploe

Composer: Donovan

Starring: Michael Hordern, David Leland, John Hurt, Diana Dors, Roy Kinnear, Donald Pleasence

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  Come children of the universe, let Donovan take you away, far far away.

Plot:  In 1349, while the Black Plague threatens Germany, the town of Hamelin hires a wandering pied piper (Donovan) to lure rats away with his magic pipe, but then refuses to pay for his services, causing him to lure the town's children away.

My rating:   7/10

Will I watch it again?   No.

I really need to read Grimm's fairy tales because I LOVE dark tales involving bad things happening to children largely because, for as long as I can remember, that subject is a big taboo that Hollywood doesn't dare tread (you know, killing children and such).  As I watched this I started to remember bits and pieces of the story from when I read it as a kid forty or so years ago.  This flick looks great and it's well-acted.  For a non-actor, pop music sensation Donovan does pretty well.  Naturally, this being the early 70s and written and performed by Donovan, the songs are all of their time and not sounding hundreds of years old, so hearing 70s folk tunes in a movie set in the mid-1300s is weird.  Michael Hordern kills it as local doctor/wizard-type.   I enjoy a good picture set in Europe way back when.  The Plague is near, people are on edge and bad people continue to do bad things.  I liked the last half hour the most, probably because that's when it's at its darkest.  I would've preferred a much darker ending but you can't have everything.   There are lots of known actors which are worth watching this for.  It's a good watch.

Action of the Tiger (1957)

Director:  Terence Young

Writers:  Robert Carson, James Wellard, Peter Myers

Composer:  Humphrey Searle

Starring:  Van Johnson, Martine Carol, Herbert Lom, Gustavo Rojo, Jose Nieto, Helen Haye, Anna Gerber, Anthony Dawson, Sean Connery, Yvonne Romain, Norman MacOwan, Brian Sunners, Helen Goss

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  How a beautiful blonde and a tough smuggler escape the net of Continental conspiracy!

Plot:  Carson is an American contraband runner approached by Tracy, a French woman who wants him to help rescue her brother from Albania where he is being held as a political prisoner.

My rating:  5.5/10

Will I watch it again?   No.

With the exception of maybe BATTLEGROUND (1949), I don't think I've seen any Van Johnson movie where he was the lead.  Even if I had, judging by his performance in this film, I don't think I would've remembered.  Here, he's bland and his voice is often monotone or close to it.  I mostly watched this for an early Sean Connery performance and for Herbert Lom.  Lom has a pivotal role and has about fifteen minutes of screen time while Connery has about a minute each in the beginning and at the very end so if you blink, you'll miss him.  Connery has a lot to do in those couple of minutes but it's nothing much to speak of.  The film itself suffers from a lackluster male lead and a screenplay with some poor dialogue for Carson (Johnson).  The movie has some action but it's also got that family kind of action drama as Carson has to travel several miles on foot with Tracy (Carol), her blind brother and several children.  Carson is supposed to be a hardened and impossible man but he puts up with this lot as if it were an eye-rolling family film.  And partly because of that, you just know that Carson and Tracy are going to end up together at the end.  Ugh.

Genghis Blues (1999)

Director:  Roko Belic

Writer:  Roko Belic

Composers:  Kongar-ol Ondar, Paul Pena

Starring:  Paul Pena, Kongar-ol Ondar, Aislinn Scofield, Richard Feynman, BB King

More info:  IMDb


Plot:  The extraordinary odyssey of a U.S. musician of Cape Verdean ancestry to Tannu Tuva, in central Asia, where nomadic people throat sing more than one note simultaneously, using vocal harmonics. A bluesman, Paul Pena, blind and recently widowed, taught himself throat singing and was by chance invited to the 1995 throat-singing symposium in Kyzyl. Helped by the "Friends of Tuva," Pena makes the arduous journey. Singing in the deep, rumbling kargyraa style, Pena gives inspired performances at the festival, composes songs in Tuvan, washes his face in sacred rivers, expresses the disorientation of blindness in foreign surroundings, and makes a human connection with everyone he meets.

My rating:  7/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

You can't help but like Paul.  He's humble and talented as hell.  Seeing him on his trip to Tuva and his being among their people is just special.  It's something he never expected and his journey from when he first heard Tuvan throat singing on ham radio to being in Tuva performing at a throat singing competition is just remarkable.  I got a little choked up a few times.  It's a beautiful country, with beautiful people and beautiful music.  I am glad to have spent time with them and Paul.

Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965)

Directors:  Curtis Harrington, Pavel Klushantsev

Writers:  Curtis Harrington, Aleksandr Kazantsev, Pavel Klushantsev

Composer:  Ronald Stein

Starring:  Basil Rathbone, Faith Domergue, Marc Shannon, Christopher Brand, John Bix, Lewis Keane, Gennadi Vernov, Georgi Zhzhyonov

More info:  IMDb


Plot:  In the year 2020, cosmonaut Marcia (Domergue) orbits the planet Venus while five astronauts and a robot journey on the surface. Professor Hartman (Rathbone) is also on hand to observe the exploration from a distance. The explorers are attacked by prehistoric beasts, and then lose their robot (and nearly their lives!) in a volcanic eruption. They discover signs of a lost civilization and an artifact indicating that the Venusians had looked human. But what of the strange singing sound they often have heard during their exploration? Do the anthropomorphic Venusians still exist?

My rating:   5/10

Will I watch it again?   No.

This is nothing more than a re-dub of the Russion classic, PLANETA BUR (1962), directed by Pavel Klushantsev.  My preference is going to be the original film over this or any other re-use of it.  But if you don't want to read subtitles or if you're a Basil Rathbone completists (in one of his last films) then knock yourself out.  Rathbone is barely in it and he's in a single room for all of his scenes.  It's a complete waste of this great man's talents and it's a role that just about anyone could've done. The ground-breaking special effects are fantastic and are worth the price of admission alone but they were created for the original Russian film.  I can't recommend enough the documentary, THE STAR DREAMER (2002), which tells the story of the director and the mastermind behind these marvelous effects (Klushantsev) and how he struggled behind the Iron Curtain to maintain his integrity as a filmmaker.  That's a far more interesting story (as is PLANETA BUR) than this American cheapie taking advantage of it.  But hey, it's money.  I get it.

Americathon (1979)

Director:  Neal Israel

Writers:  Phil Proctor, Peter Bergman, Neal Israel, Michael Mislove, Monica McGowan Johnson

Composer:  Tom Scott

Starring:  Harvey Korman, Fred Willard, Peter Riegert, Zane Buzby, Nancy Morgan, John Ritter, Richard Schaal, Allan Arbus, Elvis Costello, Chief Dan George, Tommy Lasorda, Jay Leno, Peter Marshall, David Opatoshu, Meat Loaf, George Carlin, Howard Hesseman, Cybill Shepherd

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  The Future is Here, Blow it Out Your Ear

Plot:  In a story told in narrative flashbacks, a young TV consultant is hired by the President of a bankrupt USA to organize a telethon in order to prevent the country from being repossessed by wealthy Native Americans.

My rating:  6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

It's not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination but that's not to say it isn't without any fun moments and great laughs.  Among them are...

This opens the picture with George Carlin's wonderfully delivered and funny narration.  See, this is the future and this is Pittsburgh where two dinosaurs are fighting over a parking space.  The Ray Harryhausen footage is from THE ANIMAL WORLD (1956) and I need to see it!

We first meet Monty Rushmore (Korman) in drag, showing once again how much of a natural comedian and dramatic actor he was.  Damn, I miss that guy.

Zane Buzby plays Mouling Jackson, the most poplar performer of "puke rock" out there.  This broad was fucking hysterical and she owned every scene she was in.  I want more of her, please!

Topless marionettes.  'Nuff said!

Meat Loaf (as Oklahoma Roy Budnitz, AKA The Car Killer) kilss a car and wins over the audience.  He comes back later to give blood to raise money for the country and he's funny as shit. 

Jay Leno stars in one of the funnier bits during the 30-day telethon where he plays Larry "Poopy Butt" Miller boxing his mom (hilariously played by stuntwoman, May Boss).  This was one one of the more inspired bits of the show.

And an uncredited Cybill Shepherd kicks the telethon off with Monty.

Carlin's voice is heard throughout and not only is his delivery fantastic but he's funny and his voice is just what this picture needed for that role.  There are a lot of funny bits in this picture and I laughed out loud a few times.  Having the telethon with lots of different acts is a brilliant way to justify all kinds of wild and crazy bits which were touched on but could've been so much more.  It's a wasted opportunity right there.  The jokes aren't consistent and there aren't enough of them to keep the momentum going.  Had there been, this could've become a classic.  As it is, it's got a pretty good foundation for one and it's far from not being entertaining.  I'm oldschool and I appreciate a lot of the talent in front of the camera on this one so unless it's a shitstorm of epic proportions, I'm probably going to enjoy it on some level...and I did.

Cruising (1980)

Director: William Friedkin

Writers: William Friedkin, Gerald Walker

Composer: Jack Nitzsche

Starring: Al Pacino, Paul Sorvino, Karen Allen, Richard Cox, Don Scardino, Joe Spinell, Jay Acovone, Randy Jurgensen

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  Al Pacino is Cruising for a killer.

Plot:  A police detective goes undercover in the underground S&M gay subculture of New York City to catch a serial killer who is preying on gay men.

My rating:  6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I'm not sure where this film failed.  It's an interesting premise but I don't think it went far enough with Steve's (Pacino) descent into a world unlike his own and the overall investigation of solving the murders.  The picture is an hour and forty minutes and it doesn't seem nearly long enough and that another half hour would give the film time to really delve into what's important to the picture.  That's just my amateur opinion, of course, and I respect William Friedkin and his body of work that this is the story he wanted to tell.  But what I found fascinating isn't given enough serious time to develop.  It's neat seeing so many actors in early roles like Ed O'Neill, James Remar and Powers Boothe.  The ending is satisfying enough but it's what happens after Steve is done with his undercover work that blew me away.  The ambiguity was fucking insanely good.  It could've been a red herring for the audience and a way to make you go, "ooooooh!", but I loved it just the same.

Wet Job (1981)

Director:  Shaun O'Riordan

Writer:  James Mitchell

Composer:  Cyril Ornadel

Starring:  Edward Woodward, Russell Hunter, George Sewell, Angela Browne, Helen Bourne, Hugh Walters, Anthony Smee, Milos Kerek

More info:  IMDb

Plot:  Ten years after leaving the S.I.S., former agent/assassin David Callan is living a quiet life as the owner/operator of a militaria shop. He is forced out of retirement to participate in one final assignment.

My rating:  6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

For the most part, this is pretty good.  The story and dialogue, acting, direction and editing are well done.  It's the music that is all over the place from awful to suitable.  And being how this is a British TV movie, it was shot on video which is a drag since the quality isn't on par with the quality of the product.  Woodward is excellent as the former spy, Callan, and Callan is a beast of a professional.  The way he handles the Ruskies at the end when he's got the drop on him is so good that filmmakers need to watch this brief scene to see how a pro handles a gun.  There's not over-talking the situation and dragging out the moment.  He's efficient and understands not to fuck around and to quickly turn the situation in his favor.  Anyway, this has only whetted my appetite for more Callan adventures.  WET JOB was the last of three projects Woodward did as the character, preceeded by the film, CALLAN (1974) and the series of the same name which ran for 43 episodes from 1967-1972.

Bang! Bang! You're Dead! (1966)

Original title:  Our Man in Marrakesh

Director:  Don Sharp

Writers:  Harry Alan Towers, Peter Yeldham

Composer:  Malcolm Lockyer

Starring:  Tony Randall, Senta Berger, Herbert Lom, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Terry-Thomas, Gregoire Aslan, John Le Mesurier, Klaus Kinski, Margaret Lee, Burt Kwouk

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  Strange girls in his room...Loaded guns in his back...Looks like it'll be a bang-up vacation!

Plot:  One of six travelers who catch the bus from Casablanca airport to Marrakesh is carrying $2 million to pay a local operator to fix United Nations votes. But which one?

My rating:   7/10

Will I watch it again?   Probably not.

This was cute in a fun way.  This US / UK co-production was filmed in Morocco.  Tony Randall's Andrew Jessel is the comedic relief.  There's very little about the film that suggests it's a comedy besides him.  Achmed (the driver Andrew and Kyra hitchhike with, played by Aslan) has the biggest laugh with the timing of one of his lines in a conversation with the pair.  Everybody else plays it straight which works wonderfully.  It would've been nice had Randall toned down the antics a little more, but it's not a deal killer by any stretch.  He just stands out because he's the only one doing it.  I didn't find him annoying because he doesn't go full ridiculous, thankfully.  I liked the budding romance between Andrew and Kyra.  It was handled well by letting it play out more smoothly and naturally than what you'd usually get in a major motion picture.

The cast is fantastic.  Just having any of these big names is enough to get my attention.   I loved how the rest of the cast played their roles seriously and didn't resort to anything resembling going even a little overboard.  Herbert Lom kills it as the big villain of the piece, Mr. Casimir.  He's not  cartoonish in any way and that's a fucking blessing.  So often when he played the heavy in comedies he'd go over the top.  Here he's an intelligent man on a mission solving unexpected problems on a dime, as they occur.  What's even better is the way he treats his girlfriend, Samia (Lee).  She adores him and she's genuinely rooting for him to win and wants to be helpful even though she's a borderline young, dumb blonde (or maybe she's not, yet another well-written and performed part).  The beauty of their relationship is that he doesn't seem to mind her piping up with ideas.  He digs her and he's looking forward for this transaction to be complete so they can be off.  This type of dynamic is incredibly rare in popcorn movies like this.  I loved it and I want more of characters behaving like this!  Here's Samia in action where Andrew introduces himself...

And here's a little something for those looking for some beefcake...

Day-um, Tony!  Who knew?

It's also nice to see Senta Berger in a beefier role that doesn't rely on her looks as much as her intellect.  She's got the biggest role in the picture along with Randall and she's great.   Besides leaning a little too heavy on the comedy (and it's not really bad at all), and being how it's great that this was filmed in Morocco, the locations aren't all that special but they are varied.  The movie mostly takes place in Marrakesh.   I'm not saying all spy movies have to have location shooting like on a Bond picture (let's face it, few spy movies had the budget of a Bond movie) but maybe having a little more exotic spots would've been nice.  If this is all I have to bitch about then it's not a bad movie at all.  Look, I really enjoyed this and I would've loved to have seen this on the big screen.  It's not a great movie but it's fun and charming.  Get the widescreen version and play it on the biggest screen you can.  It's not going to bring anything new to the genre but it succeeds in what it wants to be and that's entertaining. 

Man, I watched this back to back with another mid-60s Eurospy flick that I liked.  That's two good ones in a row.  Should I chance it with a third?  Fuck it!  Why not?!

Our Man in Jamaica (1965)

Original title: A 001: Operazione Giamaica

Directors:  Ernst Ritter von Theumer, Peter Jacob

Writers:  Kurt Vogelmann, Antonio del Amo

Composer:  Marcello Giombini

Starring:  Larry Pennell, Margitta Scherr, Roberto Camardiel, Barbara Valentin, Linda Sini, John Bartha, Raf Badassarre, Nando Angelini, Wolfgang Kieling, Brad Harris

More info:  IMDb

Plot:  The FBI sends agents to Jamaica to investigate arms smuggling to revolutionaries in Santo Domingo.

My rating:   6/10

Will I watch it again?   Nah.

Well, it's another middle of the road Eurospy picture and, like so many others, the main character (the James Bond type) has a wisecrack for EVERYTHING.  I hate that shit.  Ken (Pennell) is so flippant that's it's refreshing when he drops the bullshit and gets down to kicking some ass.  The story is just an excuse to move Ken from location to location and to give the picture some action scenes.  It's not a bad flick but it's marred by aloofness of Ken.  By the end of the film I was growing rather fond of actor Larry Pennell.  I still didn't like how light in tone his character was (which may not have been his fault).  He's got a striking physique which is a shame they didn't show it off more.

That's Hercules/Samson/Goliath actor Brad Harris in the shirt.  That man is equally buff.  When this came out in '65, the Bond craze was at its peak and a lot of imitators tried riding those coat tails and a lot of them fell by the wayside.  This was likely one of them.  The locations are lovely, as are the numerous hot Euro-broads, and Marcello Giombini's score has a Bond feel to it at times so there's enough ear and eye candy to keep you occupied but there's no escaping that this doesn't come close to the seriousness of a Connery Bond flick (yeah, I know the Bond pictures got sillier as they went on but this was in '65 when there were only four of them).  The print I saw was a lousy fullscreen one.  I definitely won't see this again but I probably would if a nice widescreen copy turned up someday. 

Bad Blood (1981)

Director:  Mike Newell

Writers:  Andrew Brown, Howard Willis

Composer:  Richard Hartley

Starring:  Jack Thompson, Carol Burns, Denis Lill, Donna Akersten, Martyn Sanderson, Marshall Napier, Cliff Wood, David Copeland, Ken Blackburn, John Bach, John Black, Karl Bradley, Greg Naughton, Alan Jervis Wilks

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  In 1941 Stan Graham ran amok with his guns and murdered 7 men....Sparking off one of the most bizarre manhunt's in history. The tragedy is that it really happened.

Plot:  During World War 2, a farmer in New Zealand murders seven people, and the police, along with local Maori trackers, hunt him in the bush country.

My rating:  7.5/10

Will I watch it again?   Yes.

Great performances, especially from Jack Thompson (Stan) and Carol Burns (his wife).  Burns really lights up once the shit hits the fan.  She completely sells it.  Thompson makes you feel like he lived it.  It's worth watching for those two alone.  But then you've also get to see a side of New Zealand you haven't seen, and a little slice of life there from 80 years ago.  The build-up to the killing is splendidly handled and the tension builds almost to a breaking point.  Richard Hartley's excellent score is used sparingly and with precision.  It makes you appreciate that moments with no music are just as important as those with it.  That's something that most people don't consider, particularly those who make movies. 

An hour and fifteen minutes in is when the things get ugly for everyone and it is intense.  What happens feels like you would imagine would happen when people get show with a low caliber rifle.   Not every shot is a lethal one.  It's harrowing how it goes down.  The next half hour is the aftermath and manhunt.  In reality, Stan alludes escape in the bush  for twelve days.  Here it feels like maybe two or three.  It was somewhat refreshing how the final act goes down but at the same time it was a little odd because we're not used to that as an audience.  You'll have to see it to understand.  I'd rather avoid spoilers on this one.  I don't want to say that I'm disappointed that the film's final half hour went the way it did but I would like to have spent more time with the Stan's ordeal and with the manhunt effort.  

The Alien Factor (1978)

Director:  Don Dohler

Writer:  Don Dohler

Composer:  Ken Walker

Starring:  Don Leifert, Tom Griffith, Richard Dyszel, Richard Geiwitz, George Stover, Eleanor Herman, Anne Frith, Christopher Gummer

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  They brought terror from beyond our galaxy!

Plot:  A spaceship containing specimens for an intergalactic zoo crashes on Earth near a small back woods town. The specimens escape, and soon town folk are turning up mutilated.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I like watching low/no budget movies made by people who are passionate about making them.  Don Dohler was a Baltimore filmmaker who started with this movie and made a few others (which I'll have to check out).  He also started Cinemagic Magazine in the early 70 and sold it to Starlog in '78.  I started reading it shortly after and still have a few of those early issues around here somewhere.  Neat-O.  For an ultra low budget movie, the story is simple at first but gets more intricate as the movie goes on and there's a lot of exposition at the end which made it even cooler.  I dig Ken Walker's electronic score.  Some scenes more than others but it's largely pretty cool and effective. The special effects run the spectrum.

There's even a stop motion animated creature at the end!  I LOVE that shit.  Anyone who includes stop motion animation in their pictures gets major points with me.  The acting is on the "gather everyone you know and put 'em in a movie" quality but there are some decent performances all things considered.  Some of the lines the sheriff had were great.  I'll have to add the sequel to my list. 

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Director:  David Silverman

Writers:  James L. Brooks, Matt Groening and LITERALLY 13 others!!!

Composer:  Hans Zimmer

Starring:  Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, Albert Brooks, Karl Wiedergott, Marcia Wallace, Joe Mantegna, Tom Hanks

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  The movie event 18 years in the making.

Plot:  After Homer deliberately pollutes the town's water supply, Springfield is encased in a gigantic dome by the EPA and the family are declared fugitives.

My rating:  7.5/10

Will I watch it again?   Probably not.

The only thing that makes this different than the TV show is it's 90 minutes (the equivalent of four episodes) instead of 22, is that you get to see Bart's dick.  When this came out, that was the big news and the thing that everyone was talking about.  You could say that Bart's weiner was on everyone's lips.  That whole sequence of hiding his dick as he skateboards through the city and then finally revealing it was a hilarious bit.  It feels like most of the jokes are in the first act with each of the next two getting fewer and fewer.  It's not a home run by any means but it is fun for the most part.  I wonder if Disney+ edited out Marge saying "...throw the goddamn bomb!".  Probably. Assholes.

Dancing with Crime (1947)

Director:  John Paddy Carstairs

Writers:  Peter Fraser, Brock Williams

Composer:  Benjamin Frankel

Starring:  Richard Attenborough, Barry K. Barnes, Sheila Sim, Garry Marsh, John Warwick, Judy Kelly, Barry Jones, Bill Owen, Cyril Chamberlain, Peter Croft, Dirk Bogarde, Diana Dors, Jon Pertwee

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  Torn from the sinister shadows of London after dark!

Plot:  A London cab driver gets mixed up with a criminal gang and sets out to expose the group and its leader for what they are.

My rating:   6/10

Will I watch it again?   No.

This is another middle of the road crime thriller from the 40s.  The performances are good, the story is fine for what it is but I never felt any suspense or tension.  You know it's there with the characters but it didn't translate to me.  It's just...there.  Unfortunately, the print I saw was too dark (taped off TV) which made the night scenes hard to make out who was who and what was happening to who.  And speaking of whos...see if you can spot the following in their almost first films: Dirk Bogarde, Diana Dors and Jon Pertwee!