Team America: World Police (2004)

Director: Trey Parker

Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Masasa Moyo, Daran Norris, Phil Hendrie, Maurice LaMarche

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Putting the "F" back in Freedom.

Plot: Team America follows an international police force dedicated to maintaining global stability. Learning that power hungry dictator Kim Jong Il (Parker) is out to destroy the world, the team recruits Broadway star Gary Johnston (Parker) to go undercover. With the help of Team America (Stone, Miller, Masasa, Parker, and Norris), Gary manages to slip into an arms dealer's hideout to uncover the plan to destroy the world. Will Team America be able to save the world?

My rating: 10/10

Will I watch it again? Fuck yeah!


I've been a HUGE fan of Parker and Stone since the first season of SOUTH PARK. I was there from the beginning and these two guys have consistently been among the best satirists in the business. Naturally I was there on opening day for TEAM AMERICA. I laughed until I cried. My face and stomach hurt so bad by the end. I was beside myself with laughter that it's not surprising that I ended up seeing this four times before it left the theater. I should've gotten a check for how hard I worked at getting everyone I could to support this.

"I feel so...cold."

"Hans Brix? Ah, no!"

"I promise I will never die."

Everything works. The story is typical of the types of big budget actioners they're riffing on, the gags are damn funny, the voice acting is brilliant with so many great characters I'd end up listing nearly all of them as being my favorite they're so likable. Speaking of the characters, the marionette designs are amazing and very distinct. The Hollywood actors they goof on get all of the right details while skewing them at the same time. Bill Pope deserved an Oscar nom for his camerawork. It's astounding that so much talent and care went into this film.


I'm offended that not a single song from this was nominated for an Academy Award. It's a fucking crime. Every one of them is extremely well crafted on what they're goofing on and, on top of that, they're cleverly written, performed, extremely funny AND they're really good songs in their own right. I'd like to think that if the montage song hadn't been previously used on an episode of SOUTH PARK that it might've had a chance at a nomination. Even still, every other song was worthy enough, especially when you look at what WAS nominated - Accidentally in love, SHREK 2 - Al otro lado del Rio, THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES - Believe, THE POLAR EXPRESS - Learn to be lonely, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - Look to your path, THE CHORUS. Remember any of those songs? I didn't think so.

You're gonna need a montage!

Harry Gregson-Williams' score is so serious, just like the films they're sending up, but the thing is is that it works incredibly well. So well that the somber theme played during the simultaneous world-wide terrorist attacks really shows the power of music when you see the slow motion death and destruction being meted out. It's incredibly powerful and it really shows what a good score can do - provide weighty emotion while seing puppets on strings greeting their demise. It's remarkable how good this score is.




And that's really the center of this review and my respect for these two guys. They produce a high quality product. They're working with marionettes for fuck's sake and the care with the story, acting, music, and overall attention to every single detail shows in the finished film. You may find it easy to dismiss but what they delivered was a labor of love that shows with every frame. Even if I didn't think the movie was funny I would still have a high level of respect for what they were able to accomplish. It's too bad they had a miserable time doing this. I would LOVE to see where else they could go with technique. It's also a shame, no, a crime that this didn't do better at the box office ($32 mil domestic - budget of $30 mil). If it had they might have had the incentive to produce a line of marionettes and I'd be making my own TA adventures.



Speaking of T&A, I laughed so hard and long during the sex scene that it was only after my second trip to the theater that during the end credits I heard a song I didn't recognize and when I asked my friend where in the movie they played it that he told me it was during the sex scene. I had laughed so hard that I failed to hear the song TWICE in the theater. I've seen the movie at least another six times since the four in the theater and I still laugh my fucking ass off every.single.time.



Regardless of how much I carry on about this flick I can only begin to express my love for this. It touches me in a way only the Vatican has a record of.

For a Few Dollars More (1965)

Director: Sergio Leone (better known as Bob Robertson - ahahahahahaha)

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Gian Maria Volante, Lee Van Cleef

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The man with no name is back.

Plot: Two bounty hunters with completely different intentions team up to track down a Western outlaw.

My rating: 9/10

Will I watch it again? Sure as shootin'!


#2 on A FISTFUL OF TRAILERS (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)


For as good as A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS (1964) is, FaFDM is even better and that's saying something. So why is that? Everything that worked then works here but better. Clint is more comfortable with the character, Volante is given more depth with his, Lee Van Cleef joins the two for an interesting three way of a different kind. Cleef is particularly amazing in this role that made him an international star and deservedly so, too. The story is more compelling, it covers more real estate not only in geography but with the characters and it ends with one hell of a duel.


Watch the Blu-ray on this one if you can; it's gorgeous!


Morricone's music plays even more of an essential role as his tune in the pocket watch is brilliant and it's so simple and memorable that you'll be humming along to it throughout the film and it never gets old. I REALLY dig THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY (1966) a lot but there's something about FaFDM's revenge plot that resonates with me...not that there's anyone out there with my brother-in-law's pocket watch with their name on this bullet sitting on my desk or anything...Nah. It's just a coincidence.

Frailty (2001)

Director: Bill Paxton

Starring: Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Powers Boothe, Matt O'Leary, Jeremy Sumpter, Luke Askew

More info: IMDb

Tagline: There are demons among us

Plot: A man confesses to an FBI agent his family's story of how his religious fanatic father's visions lead to a series of murders to destroy supposed "demons."

My rating: 9.5/10

Will I watch it again? Religiously!

I remember getting the call from my sister (we don't have much in common movie-wise) saying she just caught this in the theater and that I juat HAD to see it. I hadn't even heard of it and when she mentioned Bill Paxton directed it I started to have my doubts. I couldn't have been more wrong.Sadly it didn't play in theaters here and if it did, it didn't last long. FRAILTY is one of the best modern thriller/horror films of my generation. Yeah, I know, that's a bold statement but have you seen it?

I'm not really going to go into spoiler territory because the less you know the more effective it is. I knew absolutely nothing and was better for it. I'm still surprised by how good it is and how well it holds up. I mean, shit! It's directed by Chet from WEIRD SCIENCE & Hudson in ALIENS! Paxton really proved he has what it takes to be a very competent and compelling film maker.

The performances all around are very good. I normally don't like McConaughey but here's holding back and quite reserved in this picture. Powers Booth needs to be in more movies... PERIOD! As you watch it you're horrified at what's going on and the paths the characters take are astonishing. Everything is going along nicely until the final minutes and then again in the final seconds. It's a jarring one-two upercut to the chops that will leave you stinging for days. This is probably my fifth or sixth viewing and it still holds up. I've badgered my friends to death to see it and everyone that does has a similar reaction, albeit not as enthusiastic as mine. My only regret is not being able to see it for the first time again and again and again. Oh, and when the day comes that I purchase an axe, I shall name it Otis.

Daybreakers (2009)

Directors: Michael & Peter Spierig

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill

More info: IMDb

Tagline: In 2019, the most precious natural resource... is us.

Plot: In the year 2019, a plague has transformed most every human into vampires. Faced with a dwindling blood supply, the fractured dominant race plots their survival; meanwhile, a researcher works with a covert band of vamps on a way to save humankind.

My rating: 7/10

Will I see it again? I'm not beyond the idea of it.

Has Ethan Hawke ever had a role that wasn't so damned serious? The only thing I can think of is TAPE (2001) (great little flick, btw). At least he wasn't some brooding, troubled guy who never smiled. I bring it up because while I dig the guy's performances, he does that one thing so much that it wears thin after a while.

Anyway, I really dug this flick. I like the ideas and concepts that are thrown out. I would have liked to have seen more of the underground vampire world but that would have required more movie. The performances are quite good with Dafoe's being the standout. He's a riot.

There's a couple of things that I would have changed. Firstly, there's just not enough of Sam Neil. He's great but he's also, with two small exceptions, limited to just one room - his office. It's only at the conclusion that he leaves and ends up in the garage. Awfully exciting locations, huh? It's like they had Neil for all of two days and didn't have any options. The other thing that bugged me was how quickly Hawke was able to come up with a cure for vampirism. BAM! OK, now lets end this fucker.

There you go. I saw this in the theater opening weekend and I don't know if there's a longer cut on DVD. If there is, I'd be interested in seeing it again to see if anything else was fleshed out (snicker). I'd like to think so but then if there is, it should've been included in the theatrical cut. It's one of those rare films these days where I wish it were longer. I wanted to spend more time in this world exploring a lot of the really nifty ideas they presented, the day to day stuff. I needed more out of this relationship than it was willing to give me. Sigh, I've been jilted yet again. Will this love affair with movies never end? I hope not.

Dillinger (1945)

Director: Max Nosseck

Starring: Lawrence Tierney, Edmund Lowe, Anne Jeffreys, Elish Cook Jr.

More info: IMDb

Tagline: SHOCK-BY-SHOCK STORY OF THE MOST NOTORIOUS BANDIT OF OUR TIMES!!

Plot: The rise of John Dillinger from petty criminal (including, unforgiveably, holding up a cinema) via prison and bank robbery with his new convict associates to the accolade of Public Enemy Number One.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah, at least once more and with the commentary by John Milius


As a big fan of Depression-era gangsters I've been looking forward to seeing this for a long time. I finally came across it at a Big Lots for 3 bucks. SOLD! The only thing I've seen Lawrence Tierney in was RESERVOIR DOGS (1992) as the old man who's the mastermind of the bank heist. Apparently he was a tough rough bastard in life, always getting into fights and being a mean drunk - probably not someone you'd want to be around much.

He does the roll of Dillinger justice with his cold, menacing looks and tough guy persona. He gets to show that off more than a few times.

To his girl...


Helen: Who lives here?
Dillinger: What do you care?
Helen: I just like to know where I am.
Dillinger: You're with me.

after he suspects her of infidelity...




and in my favorite scene in the picture...

Early on, before Dillinger became a criminal, Dillinger tries to buy he and his girl some drinks but the uppity waiter won't serve them without him ponying up two bucks in advance. Dillinger's insulted and tries to write him a check but they won't take anything but cash. Fair enough but the waiter's kind of a dick about it. I'm sure he gets this shit all the time but he crosses the asshole line when he calls Dillinger a two bit chisler (I've always LOVED that name).


Embarrassed that he doesn't even have the dough to pay for a few drinks in front of his bird, he tells her he'll be right back, leaves the bar, robs a grocery down the street and gets nabbed by the coppers and goes to jail. John Dillinger is born.


After getting out of the big house and his crime spree has begun, he takes his girl to the same joint, at the same table with the same waiter. He's essentially blaming his situation on this one guy. Now he's got plenty of dough, see, and he orders three beers. He pays the waiter with a one hundred dollar bill and tells him to keep the change. Naturally the waiter's whistling a different tune now but he has no idea this is the same cat from way back when. Dillinger asks his girl to leave and invites the waiter to sit and have a drink with him. Dillinger gives him that cold stare and asks the guy if he remembers him. He doesn't so he jogs his memory with the details of that night we saw at the beginning. It suddenly dawns on him and he's frightened. Dillinger bangs the beer glass on the table, breaking it nicely, stands up to block our view and cuts the guy's face up.










The cool thing is we don't see it (Dillinger's blocking the view) and we don't even hear it. The piano player plays faster and louder during the assault and the only evidence we have that something happened is the waiter falling out of his seat clinging to the tablecloth. It's a great fucking scene. Absolutely stone cold and brutal in its execution.

Here's a little Elisha Cook Jr beefcake for the ladies...

Not even close to the original photograph.

Gotta have a montage...


Yet another Hollywood biopic going for absolute realism...here's the gun Dillinger made in the movie...
and here's the real deal...

I can't tell them apart, can you?

The climax isn't much of one and it's awfully rushed which is not surprising since this is only 70 minutes long. After spending who knows how long in a lonely apartment on the lam, Dillinger can't take it anymore so when his girl suddenly shows up after disappearing for a bit, they walk outside. He hasn't been out in a long time and he's soaking up being in the sun and seeing the children playing.


Helen: Let's go to a movie.
Dillinger: Any particular one?
Helen: I'd like to go to the Biograph.
Dillinger: Hey, you got a new dress, huh? You look good in red.

Minutes later, he's dead. OOOOOPS! Sorry! Spoiler alert!












It's a better than average noir B picture with a surprisingly good cast and some great moments but it suffers from a lack of facts and overblown ones at that. Surprise. Don't watch this for an account on Dillinger's life. Stick to documentaries for that. Watch this as a good 40s gangster picture where the lead's name just happen to be that of one of America's most notorious Depression era bank robbing killers. If you do that you'll be satisfied.