Elvis Stories (1989)

Director: Ben Stiller

Writer: Ben Stiller

Starring: Jeremy Piven, Jeff Kahn, John Cusack, Amy Stiller, Granville Thompson, Joel Murray, Paul Greco, Chris Barnes, Judy Scott, David Pasquesi, Ben Stiller, Andy Dick, Bill Cusack, Louise Tomaska, Ron Dean, Rick Saucedo, Jimmy Doyle, Jeff Michalski, Mike Myers, Robin Ruzan

More info:  IMDb

Tagline: Tall tales of hysterical sightings and possessions in tell-all video tabloid.

Plot: Starting with the music video "Elvis is Everywhere" by Mojo Nixon, the film then goes into a series of spoofs of tabloid Elvis stories: "Elvis is John Lennon", "Hairdresser Possessed by Elvis" and others.

My rating:  8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

This anthology of stories does one thing that's absolutely essential: open strong and close strong.  These stories are only a few short minutes each and even the weakest one is funny.  I laughed quite a bit in this half hour film written and directed by Ben Stiller (you know, back when he was funny).  And then you've got the plethora of funny people that chipped in their talents to make this happen.  I didn't even recognize John Cusack.  There's an awful lot to like in this and with the short run time, it's a no-brainer.  I sure could use one of them there Elvis burgers while I play a round of golf in Lunken hoping to get a glimpse of the king dropping that hole in one.

Collectors (2000)

Director: Julian P. Hobbs

Composer: Don DiNicola

Starring: Tobias Allen, Joe Coleman, Wayne Henley, Harold Schechter, Rick Staton

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A feature length documentary about artwork by serial killers; those who make it, the people who promote it and the people that detest it.

Plot: America is drawn to the macabre handiwork of the serial killer. From best sellers to movies and television, there is an insatiable appetite for serial killer related material. Enthusiasts have taken this fascination into reality, reaching out to the murderers through letters and visits, gathering artifacts of the crimes, and collecting serial killer art work. Filmed in the deep South, COLLECTORS journeys into this strange, compelling world to illuminate the outer limits of pop culture's fascination with murder and mayhem.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

I'm fascinated with serial killers but I'm also equally fascinated in the people who catch them.  That's where my interest stops.  The subjects of this film go much farther.  I don't have a problem with that; it's legal and it hurts no one.  A lot of folks would think this to be repulsive and I understand that.  I do think it's in bad taste to have an art exhibition of these murderers.  They have the right to do it but it is in poor taste when you consider the numerous victims that essentially contributed to their murderer's infamy.  The exhibitors are in some small way exploiting the victims and that's fucked up.  Would I attend one of these exhibitions?  Maybe.  Color me hypocrite.  Most of the artwork shown in this film is uninteresting and the only reason why it gets to see the light of day is because it was created by a serial killer.  I wouldn't mind having a Gacy painting of Pogo the Clown but mostly because of the creepy clown aspect.  The strangest thing is the following painting that Gacy made for Rick Staton who sold his art for commission.  In it he portrays Staton's young son.  That's creepy.

If I had a kid I don't think I'd want a serial killer even knowing about them but then there isn't any harm that can come to 'em.  It's an interesting, voyeuristic look into a little piece of subculture that most people would like to not even know about.  It's good, it covers the many points of view and from a lot of people including the killers and their victims' families.  Oh, and by the way, it's Staton who encouraged these people to create more art to sell and for killers that could barely draw stick figures to branch out and make something he could sell.  Now go watch this film.

Blackmail for Daddy (1975)

Director: Ben Koran

Starring: Pharoah Amos, Susan Catherine, Fred Huber, Turk Lyon

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The penalty for blackmail is high if you're caught!

Plot: A married businessman has an affair with his secretary. Someone takes pictures as proof of his infidelity and blackmails him. Who could the blackmailer be, and what perverse things do they want?

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

There is a plot.  Insert joke here.  It's thin but thick enough for porn.  I'm sure the title came first and then it just wrote itself but there was a little creativity here.  I mean, when we first me the guy that later gets blackmailed, he's dictating an office memo directed at the women of his company that they can't wear sexy or suggestive clothing unless they're prepared to do sexy time stuff with him.  Naturally this leads right into his banging his secretary...as you would.  The picture opens up with a rather good fuck scene set to the Main Title track from Jerry Goldsmith's score to PLANET OF THE APES (1968)!!!

Did you have visions of sucking and fucking while you listened to it?  I will from now on.  That's a wild bit of music to have for a fuck scene AND one that opens your picture.  It gets used later in the film and with a better effect.  I'm a soundtrack nerd so this just tickles my taint to hear this stuff in a porno.  They also use Gustov Holst's Mars music from The Planets.

The players are all attractive and have lovely bodies, especially Lilly and her lovely cans (she's the blackmailer).  I'd say half of the sex scenes are surprisingly good.  One scene that wasn't lasted too long.  Oddly enough, the blackmail story has a beginning, middle and end.  Let's just say Lilly won't be blackmailing anyone anytime soon.  I think she learned her lesson that day.  I sure did!  You can find this film for easy viewing with a simple search online.

Island of the Fishmen (1979)

Original title: L'isola degli Uomini Pesce

AKA: Screamers

Director: Sergio Martino

Writers: Cesare Frugoni, Luciano Martino, Sergio Donati, H.P. Lovecraft

Composer: Luciano Michelini

Starring: Barbara Bach, Claudio Cassinelli, Richard Johnson, Beryl Cunningham, Joseph Cotten, Franco Javarone, Roberto Posse, Giuseppe Castellano, Franco Mazzieri

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Killers from the deep guard the forbidden treasures on . . . Island of Fishmen

Plot: After their prison ship sinks in the Caribbean, a group of prisoners and a doctor wash ashore on a seemingly deserted island. They soon discover a strange couple, who invite them to stay at their house. While the prisoners try to plan an escape, the doctor does some investigating, and soon finds out just what the pair are really doing, and why the prisoners keep disappearing mysteriously.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I LOVE the poster art.  The movie is on the boring side.  There is some good atmosphere but you know you're in trouble when you check the time left and you're halfway through.  It was a chore to get through and many scenes go on for way too long (like the finale).  The last couple of minutes are bullshit.  The performances are fine I guess but it's the story that's dragged out beyond belief.  Hell, you could probably tell this story in half the time but there's not enough action, tension or much that's all that entertaining to sustain 90 minutes.  The fishmen kind of look cool but they've got no moving parts except for their arms and legs.  They look more at home in a Hollywood B picture from the 50s.  There's no gore or nudity so it's got that going against it.  I watched this nice anamorphic widescreen print on a 12' screen.  It helped but it wasn't enough.  Lovely poster art, though.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Director: James Gunn

Writer: James Gunn

Composer: Tyler Bates

Starring: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Pom Klemtieff, Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russel, Elizabeth Debicki, Chris Sullivan, Sean Gunn, Tommy Flanagan, Laura Haddock, Seth Lee, David Hasselhoff, Ving Rhames

More info: IMDb

Tagline: This summer, the galaxy won't save itself.

Plot: The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mystery of Peter Quill's true parentage.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I saw the first film in the theater and absolutely loved it.  A couple of months ago I watched it for the first time since then and the magic was gone.  I still liked it but it wasn't as fun as it was three years ago.  Anyway, what works in this film (like the first one) is the way the characters interact with each other.  Of the main group, Gamora is the least interesting character but at least she's involved with something more compelling this time with her sister, Nebula, that actually feels emotional.  I liked that.  It gets old having a character just be a tough badass.  It's not a home run for Gamora but it is a great start.  Kurt Russell is fun in everything and he's a blast in this picture.  I really dig the character and that plot line.  All of the secondary plot lines work well, too, and they all blend nicely with each other and conclude in a nice, reasonable manner.  Maybe the holes become visible on repeat viewings but for the first one, I was satisfied.

This has one of the best villains in the MCU so far and we're given enough information to know his motivations and whatnot but I really wanted to spend more time with him much like I'd like to have more time with all of the villains.  In this picture, it's not much more time than necessary to establish who he is and what his goal is.  Then there's the obligatory huge fight that concludes the movie.  Peter barely spends enough time with him to establish but only the beginning to what he shows to be a solid relationship.  He went through all of the different emotional stages over the course of a day (or two?).  That's fast even for movie time.  That's probably my biggest issue.  There are lots of really neat things to enjoy like Stan Lee's cameo, Stallone, Yondu's arc, and so on plus there's an abundance of humor from the GotG gang like there was in the first film.  It's a fun movie with some great ideas that get handled better than most comic book movies.  I liked it a lot and I may find that in time I'll dig it more than the first one.

Pulp (1972)

Director: Mike Hodges

Writer: Mike Hodges

Composer: George Martin

Starring: Michael Caine, Mickey Rooney, Lionel Stander, Lizabeth Scott, Nadia Cassini, Dennis Price, Al Lettieri, Leopoldo Trieste, Amerigo Tot, Robert Sacchi, Giulio Donnini

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Write it. Live it. But try not to be it.

Plot: A seedy writer of sleazy pulp novels is recruited by a quirky, reclusive ex-actor to help him write his biography at his house in Malta.

My rating:  6.5/10

Will I watch it again?

I love the cast.  Mickey Rooney is friggin' hilarious and Michael Caine is good as aways and then there's Lionel Stander and Al Lettieri.  I haven't seen Lizabeth Scott in anything in ages.  It turns out this was her last picture.  This flick is a lighthearted murder mystery set in Malta.  The location helps the film a lot.  Rooney is a big plus but while the movie is quite good for moments here and there, there's something that holds it back as a whole.  It's good but not great and I liked it but not enough to watch again.  I can't put my finger on it but it's missing something.  Perhaps the comedy should've been played up or there should've been a better attempt at tension and suspense.  That's a hard thing to do, effectively mixing humor and suspense.  Just one of those alone isn't easy.  It also doesn't help that the reason why someone is after Rooney is pretty weak but I guess it's barely enough of a reason for Caine to be put through the stress test.   Is it still worth watching?  Yes. 

Phoenix the Warrior (1988)

AKA: She Wolves of the Wasteland

Director: Robert Hayes

Writers: Robert Hayes, Dan Rotblatt

Composer: Dan Radlauer

Starring: Persis Khambatta, Kathleen Kinmont, Peggy McIntaggart, James Emery, Sheila Howard, Nina Jaffe, Courtney Caldwell, Skyler Corbett, Laurie de Nuccio

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Women Rule.

Plot: Big hair, big guns, big personalities, and a serious lack of wardrobe. She-Wolves of the Wasteland, a post-apocalyptic story that features women--lots and lots of women--who leave little to the imagination as they battle each other in various junkyards and gravel pits to determine the fate of the entire world.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This is a pretty decent example of the direct to video flicks we used to rent in the 80s.  Get your friends together with some junk food and kill a Friday or Saturday night watching cheesy crap like this.  It's low budget and the acting is bad to mediocre, the villains over do it and you can clearly see where the influences come from.  There is some action but the slow spots drag the film down.  The one on one combat is clumsy and the picture would've benefited from having the film sped up a little during these scenes and having some good foley for the punches landing would've done wonders to give these scenes more impact and fun.  Still, you get this around the 15 minute mark:

Don't get too excited because that's it for nudity.  You think they would've scattered more in throughout the movie but nooooooo.  It's OK but movies like this suffer most from pacing.  While there is enough going on to somewhat maintain 85 minutes, some tightening of some scenes and possible excising of others could make this more fun and easier to watch.  When you're gorging yourself on chips and soda it's 2 am, it's easy to fall asleep on pictures like this one.