A Fine Madness (1966)

Director: Irvin Kershner

Writer: Elliott Baker

Composer: John Addison

Starring: Sean Connery, Joanne Woodward, Jean Seberg, Patrick O'Neal, Colleen Dewhust, Clive Revill, Werner Peters, John Fiedler, Kay Medford, Jackie Coogan, Zohra Lampert, Sorrell Booke, Sue Ane Langdon

More info: IMDb

Tagline: We should all be so crazy.

Plot: Samson Shillitoe, mad genius of a poet irresistible to women but plagued by writer's block, agrees to see a psychiatrist... and his beautiful wife.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Don't you hate it when a comedy isn't funny?  It's got the trappings of one, it wants to be one, people do outrageous things and they smile a lot and the music is telling me to laugh but it's not funny.  I didn't laugh once and I was primed and ready for it.  Connery's the man.  He's good enough of an actor that I don't look at him and see Bond, necessarily.  I can buy him as a struggling poet.  I'm just not buyin' what the film makers were selllin'.  It's bland despite everyone's efforts.  It's odd but it really does feel like they're going for a wild 60s comedy with the out there doctor who wants to perform a type of lobotomy on Samson (Connery) and the deciding vote to do it or not lies with Dr. West (O'Neal) who just saw his wife making it with Samson.  The last act is weak and the final couple of minutes don't make any sense.  It feels like they just gave up and said, "Screw it, let's just end this fucker."  For Connery completists only. The Warner Bros. DVD delivers a fine widescreen print with a nifty 6-minute vintage making of short, Mondo Connery, which takes full advantage of Connery's badass Bond image, playing up the sex and violence.  It's really hilarious after you watch the film and know how different the picture is from how they're selling it.  The best part is seeing the behind the scenes stuff.  I'm sure it's on YouTube.  It's ten times funnier than the movie.  There's also a fullscreen trailer which seems dumb since I'm sure Warner Bros. had the original aspect ration trailer lying around somewhere.  But hey, I shouldn't complain.  At least made an effort, right?

Assassination (1987)

Director: Peter R. Hunt

Writer: Richard Sale

Composers: Valentine McCallum, Robert O. Ragland

Starring: Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, Stephen Elliott, Jan Gan Boyd, Randy Brooks, Erik Stern, Michael Ansara, James Staley, kathryn Leigh Scott, James Acheson, Jim McMullan

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They were reluctant running mates . . . in a race for their lives!

Plot: Jay Killion (Bronson) had been the presidential bodyguard, but for the inauguration of the recently elected president, he is assigned to the first lady, Lara Royce (Ireland). Lara, a perpetually indignant, arrogantly feminist lady, initially hates the methodical and rules-following Killion, and so she does all she can to avoid him and disregard his safety procedures. The story complicates, however, when repeated attempts are made on Lara's life. Eventually, the shaken Lara decides to trust Killion's instincts and precautionary methods, and the pair embark on a difficult and often perilous cross-country journey, with the assassins close on their heels.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Probably not.  Sigh.

#77 on Project: Badass Charles Bronson

BRONSON'S AGE: 65
LEVEL OF BADASSICITY (10 being the highest): 8

Any man who can kick holy ass while protecting a total bitch all in the name of duty for his country has got more strength than I can muster up.  I'm shocked he didn't turn one of his guns on her.  The First Lady is played by Bronson's real wife, Jill Ireland.  The thing is, it's their last picture together and she was already battling cancer so it's kind of like a last hurrah for the pair.  If you look at it like that, this is a much easier picture to swallow.  As an action movie, it's dumb, but it's a Bronson flick so you've got that going for it.  I read a review that said he was sleepwalking.  That's bullshit.  He's doing a fine job and that's more than what a lot of people at his age would've done.  I've seen some phoned in, I'm in it for the paycheck performances and this isn't one of them.  He's charming and he kills the bad guys.  The chick that played his partner, Charlie (Jan Gan Boyd), is terrible and so is the music score.  It's horrendous.  Ireland has moments of bad acting, too, but I'm not going to say much about her.  Chuck will come back from the grave and kick my ass.  I don't know...getting my ass handed to me by THE Charles Bronson is something I'd wear like a badge of honor.  Anyway, this is the last feature Peter Hunt directed and his second with Bronson (DEATH HUNT (1981) is amazing).  It's a sad farewell but he made a couple of great pictures.  Fans of dumb action and/or Bronson might dig it but lower your expectations...and this is from a huge Bronson fan. 

Freeway (1996)

Director: Matthew Bright

Writer: Matthew Bright

Composer: Danny Elfman

Starring: Kiefer Sutherland, Reese Witherspoon, Bokeem Woodbine, Wolfgang Bodison, Dan Hedaya, Kitty Fox, Alanna Ubach, Brooke Shields, Amanda Plummer, Brittany Murphy, Tara Subkoff

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Her life is no fairy tale.

Plot: A twisted take on 'Little Red Riding Hood' with a teenage juvenile delinquent on the run from a social worker traveling to her grandmother's house and being hounded by a charming, but sadistic, serial killer/pedophile.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

Great flick!  It's nothing like I expected and it's (darkly) funny as shit!  Writer/director Matthew Bright just made my radar.  I didn't realize I'd already seen another of his movies, TED BUNDY (2002), and that he wrote the incredibly entertaining FORBIDDEN ZONE () (which explains why Danny Elfman did the score for this picture).  Witherspoon and Sutherland are pitch perfect in their roles but the biggest star is the script.  It takes a lot of twists and turns that get creative as shit and funner than hell!!  I love that Dan Hedaya is in this and Amanda Plummer.  The prison scenes are a riot.  And did you notice the wonderfully long takes when Bob (Sutherland) and Vanessa (Witherspoon) are riding in the car?  Nice!  And Danny Elfman's score is off the charts weird and wild.  I must've blinked during the opening credits or something because I didn't realize he scored it.  Based on what I heard I would have never guessed it was him.  This is a really fun picture.  Now, then, the Lionsgate DVD...I've got the 2007 re-release disc and it's ridiculous.  The film isn't formatted to fit HDTVs (despite the packaging saying that it does), it's got the original old-ass menu that lists the sole extra (besides the fullscreen trailer) as "Directors Narration" (complete with the omission of the apostrophe between the 'r' and 's' and calling it narration instead of commentary - I know, that's nitpicking).  I'm selling my copy and I'll hold out for a proper DVD/Blu-ray release.

Cotton Comes to Harlem (1970)

Director: Ossie Davis

Writers: Chester Himes, Arnold Perl, Ossie Davis

Composer: Galt MacDermot

Starring: Godfrey Cambridge, Raymond St. Jacques, Calvin Lockhart, Judy Pace, Redd Foxx, Emily Yancy, John Anderson, Lou Jacobi, Eugene Roche, J.D. Cannon, Mabel Robinson, Dick Sabol, Cleavon Little

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Introducing COFFIN ED and GRAVEDIGGER, two detectives only a mother could love.

Plot: Gravedigger Jones and Coffin Ed Johnson are two black cops with a reputation for breaking the odd head. Both are annoyed at the success of the Reverend Deke O'Mailey who is selling trips back to Africa to the poor on the installment plan. When his truck is hijacked and a bale of cotton stuffed with money is lost in the chase, Harlem is turned upside down by Gravedigger and Coffin Ed, the Reverend, and the hijackers.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

I don't care what it is, if Redd Foxx or Godfrey Cambridge are in it, I'll watch it.  Cambridge is having a blast from start to finish and he's a lot of fun but sadly Foxx's role is pretty brief...but classic!   

It's pretty standard crime/action/Blaxploitation fare with a few laughs here and there.  It's over-the-top and goofy sometimes but it's the cast that makes this watchable.  The striptease on the bale of cotton has got to be seen to be believed.  Unfortunately every release of this is fullscreen.  The MGM DVD I've got (make that had after this weekend's garage sale) only has the theatrical trailer as an extra.  Hell, even the Blu-ray that's coming out on 9/9/14 is listed as being fullscreen.  The fuck?

The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

Director: John Huston

Writers: Ben Maddow, John Huston. W.R. Burnett

Composer: Miklos Rozsa

Starring: Sterling Hayden, Louis Calhern, Jean Hagen, James Whitmore, Sam Jaffe, John McIntire, Marc Lawrence, Barry Kelley, Anthony Caruso, Teresa Celli, Marilyn Monroe, William 'Wee Willie' Davis, Dorothy Tree, Brad Dexter, John Maxwell, Frank Cady, Strother Martin, Jack Warden

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The City Under the City

Plot: A major heist goes off as planned, until bad luck and double crosses cause everything to unravel.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

The pedigree of this thing with everyone behind and in front of the camera is huge.  It's a great flick where the heist goes right but the dominoes start falling one by one after it's over, leaving no one safe.  This is a great companion piece to Kubrick's THE KILLING (1956) which also stars Hayden in an even more badass mode.  This picture has a few surprises.  Nearly every main character breaks the law in some way...and you're rootin' for 'em.  Part of it might be because films back then didn't allow for the bad guys to get away with it but then we're also spending nearly all of our time with these crooks and barely anything with the cops (and even some of the cops are crooked).  I REALLY like how Doc's (Jaffe) storyline plays out.  The way the camera fixates on what he's watching and thinking is powerful stuff.  Great Miklos Rozsa score, too.  It's a great film all the way around and a must-see for fans of film noir or crime pictures in general.  The Warner Bros. DVD is pretty light on extras (you know, considering how famous this picture is and all) with a brief introduction by John Huston, the theatrical trailer and a commentary by Drew Casper and James Whitmore (I'd be really interested to hear what Whitmore has to say).

Uncommon Valor (1983)

Director: Ted Kotcheff

Writer: Joe Gayton, Wings Hauser

Composer: James Horner

Starring: Gene Hackman, Robert Stack, Fred Ward, Reb Brown, Randall 'Tex' Cobb, Patrick Swayze, Harold Sylvester, Tim Thomerson, Alice Lau, Kwan Hi Lim, Kelly Junkerman, Todd Allen, Gail Strickland

More info: IMDb

Tagline: "C'mon... we're going home."

Plot: A group of Vietnam War veterans re-unite to rescue one of their own left behind and taken prisoner by the Vietnamese.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Eh, so-so action flick where the only real saving grace is the cast headed by Hackman.  I'll pretty much watch anything he, Thomerson, Cobb or Ward does so it's kind of a treat to see so many cats I dig in one spot.  It's a now-typical 80s 'let's go back to 'Nam and bring our boys home' flick.  Everything's about as you would expect with the usual amount of time spent on gathering the men for the mission, training for the mission and, well, the mission.  There's nothing special about any of it.  It's mildly entertaining but worth seeing for the cast.  Explosions-a-plenty with some unnecessary deaths  in the typical self-sacrificing kind of way.  Fans (or haters) of James Horner will recognize his usual musical ideas he's used in his scores before and since.  The Paramount DVD doesn't come with a single extra.

Willard (2003)

Director: Glen Morgan

Writers: Glen Morgan, Gilbert Ralston, Stephen Gilbert

Composer: Shirley Walker

Starring: Crispin Glover, R. Lee Ermey, Laura Harring, Jackie Burroughs, Ashlyn Gere, William S. Taylor, Edward Horn, Gus Lynch, Laara Sadiq, David Parker, Ty Olsson, Kristen Cloke

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A new breed of friendship

Plot: Willard is an awkward, inept young man ostracized by the world around him. His gloomy existence takes a turn for the weird, though, when he discovers that his connection with a pet rat has gained him acceptance among the ranks of rodentia, and soon, Willard is using his new found army of vermin to get revenge on everyone who's done him wrong.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Sure.

I tell you what, you couldn't have picked a better lead than Crispin Glover and a better asshole of a boss than R. Lee Ermy.  They're both fantastic.  Then there's the rats.  I haven't seen the original or its sequel and yet I've now seen this one twice. I need to fix that. Good score by Shirley Walker.  The pacing is pretty good although it seems a little long which could be that there's another twenty minutes after Willard (Glover) dispenses with his boss (Ermy).  The rats attacking the cat had me squeamish.  That cat was fucked no matter how you sliced it and you knew it was doomed as soon it was introduced.  For a picture that takes as long as it does to get to the goods, it's fun and engaging and you can partially thank Glover and Ermy for keeping acting dynamic interesting and director Morgan & Co. for making it believable.  The New Line Platinum Series DVD has a commentary with director Glen Morgan, Producer James Wong, and actors Crispin Glover and R. Lee Ermy, a 73 minute (!) making of documentary, another documentary on rats (19 minutes), a music video of Glover performing "Ben", deleted and alternate scenes, the theatrical trailer and TV spots.