Justice League of America (1997)

Directors: Felix Enriquez Alcala, Lewis Teage

Writers: Lorne Cameron, David Hoselton

Composers: John Debney, James Raymond

Starring: Miguel Ferrer, Matthew Settle, Kimberly Oja, John Kassir, Michelle Hurd, Kenny Johnston, David Krumholtz, Elisa Donovan, Ron Pearson, David Ogden Stiers, Robert Gallo

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Our last hope rests with Earth's mightiest heroes.

Plot: An evil Weather Man intent on destroying New Metro City with a series of malevolent meteorological mishaps? Can the super-powered (and semi-employed) Justice League of America save the day? Or will New Metro be drowned in a humongous tidal wave?

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Yeah, it's bad but it does bring a little bit of entertainment to the table.  It was made in the hopes it would become a TV series but the internet says it was deemed too poor to even be aired here in the States.  It's corny and dumb and it's obvious that everyone was in on the joke.  So take off your judgment glasses and try to enjoy it.  It looks like the filmmakers had some hurdles to overcome like a low budget and restrictions on which DC characters they could and could not use.  But you do get The Green Lantern, The Flash, The Atom and Martian Manhunter.  The others might be DC characters but I wouldn't know.  As far as I can tell they were made up.  The story is OK at best, the acting is serviceable, the music has some good moments you wouldn't expect in a production like this and there are some jokes that work.  The pacing could be tightened up in some spots.  That would be a big help.  The first few minutes tell you what you can expect.  It's not a moldy turd with a cape but it ain't smellin' pretty, either.

A Quiet Place (2018)

Director: John Krasinski

Writers: Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, John Krasinski

Composer: Marco Beltrami

Starring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe, Cade Woodward, Leon Russom, Doris McCarthy, Rhoda Pell

More info: IMDb

Tagline: If they hear you, they hunt you.

Plot: In a post-apocalyptic world, a family is forced to live in silence while hiding from monsters with ultra-sensitive hearing.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

THE SPOILERS OF SILENCE!  YARRRRRR!!!!!!

I finally gave in and used my Movie Pass to see this.  I would've preferred to have waited to see this at home where I can control the noise and talking but what the hell.   I don't recommend seeing this in the theater.  Every time I saw the trailer I couldn't help but wonder how fast and loos they're going to play with the rules of not making sound.  Welp, as I suspected, they get a little wobbly with it and stray from it when it serves the script.  It's an interesting concept but Krasinski & co. didn't have the balls to fully commit.  Most of the frights come in the form of jump scares complete with instant loud music in addition to the instant loud sound effects and something jumping on screen.  I fucking hate that shit.  It shows the lack of talent when it comes to filming suspense and horror.  When in doubt, make a loud fucking noise out of nowhere and flash something in front of their eyes.  It's the easiest and most prominent scare tactic in the book and it's cheap.  Then there's bullshit like why would they bring a baby into this environment, you know, one of the loudest things ever?  And how about them having power on that farm out in the middle of nowhere?  Where did that come from?   Can a power plant continue to operate a year and a half without people maintaining it?  These are just a couple of big observations coming off the first viewing.  I'm sure there would be more if I sat down to watch it again which I won't.  This is one of the biggest problems with Hollywood.  They don't spend the time to get most of the scripts ready.  I'm not saying that it has to be perfect but you can't have it both ways where you deliver something that's undercooked and expect the public to eat it up.  Oh, wait, they do that all the time and pictures like this make money which reinforces the studio suits that this is acceptable.  It's been out for 47 days (at the time I wrote this) and it's made over $300M worldwide.  I'm sure there'll be a sequel.  I won't see it.  This is a B-picture that somehow escaped and fooled people into thinking it's an A and that it deserves to be taken seriously. 

The Last Days of Pompeii (1935)

Directors: Ernest B. Schoedsack, Merian C. Cooper

Writers: James Ashmore Creelman, Melville Baker, Ruth Rose

Composer: Roy Webb

Starring: Preston Foster, Alan Hale, Basil Rathbone, John Wood, Louis Calhern, David Holt, Dorothy Wilson, Wyrley Birch, Gloria Shea

More info: IMDb

Plot: In the doomed Roman city, a gentle blacksmith becomes a corrupt gladiator, while his son leans toward Christianity.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

From the team that brought you the amazing KING KONG (1933) left most of their adventurous side behind when they made this picture.  It's melodramatic like you'd expect from '35 but there is some action from time to time to break that up.  I was hoping for more from  Schoedsack & Cooper.  It's an OK picture but you don't get any volcano action until the last few minutes and even then it's a let down.  Halfway through the flick friggin' Jesus shows up so now it's a religious picture.  Yawn.  Talk about a turn off.  Foster does a pretty good job and he would've been even better, I think, if he'd had more action scenes.  He fit nicely in the role of a gladiator.  It's weird seeing Rathbone looking like he does and even he has moments of back of the hand to the forehead overacting but some of that is the fault of the script and the reverence to religion this picture has.  I can't see any reason to seek this one out.  It's not bad but it's not all that good, either. 

50,000 B.C. (Before Clothing) (1963)

AKA: Nude on the Rocks

Director: William Rose

Writers: Arnold Drake, Herbert Lannard, William Rose

Composer: Martin Roman

Starring: Charlie Robinson, Irving Selig, Al Monaco, Dino Tarronova, Toni Monaco, Carl Shelton, Bebe Lent, Morton Taylor, Mila Milo, Gigi Darlene, Sherry Parker, Anita Ventura, Nikki North, Allura, Eddie Carmel, Paul Lavert, Audrey Campbell, Herbert Lannard, Jackie Miller

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The first women on Earth were his playmates

Plot: A man travels back in time and meets prehistoric cave people who are often nude.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

The time-traveling framework this flimsy story is built upon is silly and embarrassingly bad but then it never strove to be anything but.  Ultimately it's just an excuse to show lots and lots and lots of tits, not that you need an excuse, right?

On an artistic note, it's got one of the best opening tittles, I mean titles, ever!

I bet John Williams would've like to see his name on the screen like that.  The comedy is a throwback to what you'd get in a burlesque show.  The only thing different is this picture has a bigger budget (and it's hard to keep a straight face while saying that) to allow for outdoor shooting and instead of interruptions with strippers and sexy dancing you get naked gals in the wild already naked and ready for your viewing pleasure.  There is one dance with a snake but she doesn't strip (the dancer, not the snake).  The humor is base level bawdiness.  I did laugh out loud once, though.  What is nice, and the reason why anyone would ever watch this to begin with, is the frequent bursts of nudity for nudity's sake.  It was good enough then and, as far as I'm concerned, it's good enough now.  Call me a big fan of boobs in their natural habitat...otherwise, the funny falls flat which gives you a few minutes to take a smoke break or something until the real show's back on.

The Black Parachute (1944)

Director: Lew Landers

Writers: Paul Gangelin, Clarence Upson Young

Composer: Mario Castelnuovo-Tedesco

Starring: John Carradine, Osa Massen, Larry Parks, Jeanne Bates, Jonathan Hale, Ivan Triesault

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Meet a Two-Fisted Yank Who's No. 1 Man in a Band of Balkan Guerrillas!

Plot: An imprisoned King must be rescued from the Nazi general holding him captive.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I'm guessing due to the film's short running time of 64 minutes that this was made as a lower budget B picture to accompany a higher budget A picture.  I'm OK with that.  They don't often transcend their goal of giving the ticket buyer a little more time at the movies but as long as they're entertaining, I don't care.  This one isn't too bad.  The lousy quality print I watched was distracting especially in the night scenes, but I was still able to enjoy it a bit.  This flick doesn't have grand ambitions but what it does it does fairly well.  There's action sprinkled every once in a while and there's enough going on that the pacing moves fast enough to keep boredom from setting in.  The plot has more going on than you'd think given the film's modest budget and length.  And the last act has a few surprises for those who haven't abandoned it by then.  It's not too bad but it's not a picture that's going to be remembered.

The Nesting (1981)

AKA: Massacre Mansion

Director: Armand Weston

Writers: Daria Price, Armand Weston

Composers: Jack Malken, George Kim Scholes

Starring: Robin Groves, Christopher Loomis, Michael David Lally, John Carradine, Bill Rowley, David Tabor, Patrick Farrelly

More info: IMDb

Tagline: There was only one thing more terrifying than leaving the house... staying in it.

Plot: A writer suffering from agoraphobia rents an isolated house so she can concentrate on her writing. She doesn't know that the house is a former brothel, and is inhabited by the ghosts of dead prostitutes.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

There's a good story here but it's in the execution that brings it down.  Ghost whores seeking revenge from the grave?  Are you kidding me?  How did this not work better?  Robin Groves does a great job in the lead as Lauren, the woman tormented by all kinds of things.  She's got a lot to do, acting wise, and she sells it.  She's even better when you consider it's her first feature and second credit.  Some of the other actors are lacking in skill but it's not enough to hurt the flick all that much.  It's a good looking film.   The direction and cinematography are pretty good.  It's the pacing that almost kills it.  It's 103 minutes and it should be much shorter.  There's A LOT of back story told in flashback.  It is necessary to some degree to do it this way because the audience needs to be kept in the dark until the right moment just as Lauren was.  The music often feels cheap.  That could've been a budgetary restraint but the more likely reason is that this is the only score Scholes composed and the last of two that Malken wrote.  So there's that.  There is a little bit of welcome nudity and there's at least one terrific and grisly death.  I guess I'm disappointed this wasn't better than it was. 

Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)

Director: S. Craig Zahler

Writer:  S. Craig Zahler

Composers: Jeff Herriott, S. Craig Zahler

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Carpenter, Don Johnson, Udo Kier, Marc Blucas, Dion Mucciacito, Geno Segers, Victor Almanzar, Tom Guiry, Willie C. Carpenter, Mustafa Shakir, Fred Melamed

More info: IMDb

Plot: A former boxer-turned-drug runner lands in a prison battleground after a deal gets deadly.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

OK, so the movie is two hours and twelve minutes long.  It starts off as one of those perfect storms of bad days for Bradley (Vaughn).  He's a tough guy but he has incredible will power and he's able to keep himself calm in the most fucked up situations.  He's not a violent man, per se, but he can dish out the violence at a moment's notice when he needs to.  This film is the textbook definition of liesurely paced.  It's slooooowwww.  Exactly halfway into the picture the plot thickens in a most unexpected way.  I realize that I paid for the whole seat but now I'm only using the edge.  Hahahahahaha.  But seriously, it's the kind of moment when you straighten yourself up and pay more attention.  Now there are periodic moments of violence and fucked up shit going on but the pacing never really picks up that much so it still feels slow.  I thought I knew where this was going but Zahler made sure I didn't and I love him for it.  It's unpredictable in a way that almost always comes from a fresh, new voice in filmmaking.  I really dig the film.  Don't let anyone spoil it for you.  It's the kind of movie that stuck with me for a couple of days and I began liking it more and more.  I think the next time I see it I'll have to juice up my score.  Fans of genre films should dig this but it's not some easily digestible piece of exploitation cinema.  It's roots are there but this is something smarter, classier and more challenging to watch and I'm better for it.  This is Zahler's second film.  His first is BONE TOMAHAWK (2015).  It's been on my watch list since it was released and now I feel ashamed for not having watched it yet.  I'm going to fix that very soon.  His third film could be out this year.  He's working with Vaughn, Carpenter, Johnson and Kier again and it has one of the coolest titles ever...DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE.  What a fucking amazing title.  If that weren't enough, it's also starring Mel Gibson (hopefully in full on hardcore mode) and Michael Jai White.