Evil Bong (2006)

Director: Charles Band

Writer: Domonic Muir

Composers: District 78, Ker'in Hayden

Starring: David Weidoff, John Patrick Jordan, Mitch Eakins, Brian Lloyd, Robin Sydney, Kristyn Green, Tommy Chong, Michelle Mais, Jacob Witkin, Tim Thomerson, Bill Moseley

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Dude, it's one SCARY trip!

Plot: Straight-laced nerd Alistair moves into a college dorm with hardcore marijuana users Brett, Larnell, and Bachman. Larnell orders an old giant bong that proves to have strange magical powers. When smoked said bong sends a person to a bizarre drugged-out alternate realm from which there is no easy escape.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

One thing that surprised me, considering this is from the low budget, direct-to-video company Full Moon (whose stuff from the 80s and 90s I usually dig), is the opening credits song.  It's pretty catchy and fun.  Then the story starts proper and it goes into familiar setting of a nerd moving in with a stoner and a jock, who's also a stoner.  When one of the guy's foul mouthed grandfather shows up and brings the funny it perks up a bit. The parts in between are OK.  It's not horrible nor is it all that good.  The scenes in the strip club provide the nudity you're gonna want.  Besides grandpa, the best reason to watch it is for Tommy Chong who shows up near the end for a small but important role.  He's great and so is a cameo by Full Moon regular Tim Thomerson as Jack Deth.  I love that guy.  Horror fans will notice Bill Moseley at the strip club.  You know the special effects budget is between $35 and $40 when the talking bong's mouth doesn't move when she speaks.  Instead she communicates telepathically.  How convenient.  Long gone, I guess, are the days when the studio that puppets built would take the time and money to throw in some stop motion animation.  But I guess if you're going to watch a movie called EVIL BONG then that's not going to matter.  The DVD has an anamorphic widescreen print with a two extras.  The first is a 19-minute short called Evil Bong: Behind the Scenes...I wonder what that's about.  The other extra, Roadshow 2005 featurette, is a half hour compilation of live stage storytelling shows with Charles Band (ala what Kevin Smith is now doing with audiences), clips from Full Moon's catalog, and clips from The Tonight Show with Leno when Charles Band's son, Alex, was there with his band.  William Shatner shows up for an anecdote with Charles and Charles talks a lot about the film making process and there are some other goodies that fans of this studio are going to love.  It's a lot of fun and a lot more entertaining than the film.  I'd recommend getting the disc just for that.  Seriously.

Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Director: Guy Hamilton

Writers: Len Deighton, Evan Jones

Composer: Konrad Eifers

Starring: Michael Caine, Paul Hubschmid, Oskar Homolka, Eva Renzi, Guy Doleman, Hugh Burden, Heinz Schubert, Wolfgang Volz, Thomas Holtzmann, Gunter Meisner, Herbert Fux, Rainer Brant, Rachel Gurney, John Abineri, David Glover

More info: IMDb

Tagline:  It was going to be a lovely funeral. Harry Palmer just hoped it wouldn't be his...

Plot: A British agent is sent to Berlin to receive a Communist defector, but the true situation turns out to be rather more complicated.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes!!!

Here's a sequel that tops the previous film, THE IPCRESS FILE (1965).  The intricately layered story is compelling and fun.  There are a couple of moments of levity that I could have done without, like his sexual quips with the office secretary ALA Bond, but it's early on and stuff like that doesn't permeate the picture.  Thankfully it's an engrossing and serious alternative to the James Bond series that was currently at its zenith in spy-mania.  FUNERAL is essentially two short films woven together as one.  It feels a little weird finding what feels like the main story ending with the other taking over but it works.  While I miss having John Barry back to score this one, I really dug what Konrad Eifers brought to the table.  His music brings a little of the exoticism of some of the early Bond scores and makes it seem more personal and dangerous without forgetting it's a movie and we should enjoy it.  Caine, as always, is great and the supporting cast is marvelous as well.  Bond producer Harry Saltzman brought some of his Bond alumni with him like the last picture.  Production designer Ken Adam is back and he brought in GOLDFINGER (1964) director Guy Hamilton to helm it.  It's a top-notch 60s spy thriller that's a great compliment to the Bond series while doing its own thing.  It's been a few years since I last saw it but it seems to be growing on me with age.  I watched a friend's DVD and I immediately went to Amazon to buy it but the $22 (plus tax) price keeps me from pulling the trigger.  It's a Warner Bros. Archive Collection release so at best it might only have a trailer for an extra.  That's too steep to pay for so little.  Hopefully the price will drop by the time I'm ready to see it again/  In the meantime it might even come out on Blu-ray but I'm not holding my breath.

Leprechaun (1993)

Director: Mark Jones

Writer: Mark Jones

Composers: Kevin Kiner, Robert J. Walsh

Starring: Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, Ken Olandt, Mark Holton, Robert Hy Gorman, Shay Duffin, John Sanderford, John Voldslad, Pamela Mant, William Newman, David Permenter, Raymond C. Turner, Heather Kennedy, Tim Garrick

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Your luck just ran out

Plot: An evil, sadistic Leprechaun goes on a killing rampage in search of his beloved pot of gold.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

Ugh.  I picked up the 5-movie box set at a yard sale for less than 5 bucks and now I want my money and time back.  It's obnoxious and largely unfunny and there's barely any gore.  Blood on someone's face is hardly gory.  It's more the language than violence that makes this rated R.  Is that Warwick Davis' voice?  It feels like it's someone else.  It's Jennifer Aniston's feature film debut if that's worth anything to you.  It is kind of neat seeing her right before she made the big time with FRIENDS.  And then there's Mark Holton (as the doofus, Ozzie), the guy who stole Pee Wee's bike in PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE (1985). Some of the acting is pretty bad but overall it's OK.  The music is credited with two composers and when you see it you can tell.  Half the score sounds like a typical synth horror score playing it cute and the other half sounds like it's for a Spielberg family picture.  The latter I like, the former was agonizing.  I guess I just didn't care for the wise-cracking leprechaun that felt like a pint-sized Freddy Kruger. It wasn't funny or scary (not that horror movies can scare me anymore) and I was ready for it to end a half hour in.  I was hoping I'd enjoy it enough to want to see two of the sequels (the ones in the hood and in space) but I'm turned off it...at least for now.  I reckon I'll make a few bucks off the set on ebay.  That should ease the pain a little.

Hang 'Em High (1968)

Director: Ted Post

Writers: Leonard Freeman, Mel Goldberg

Composer: Dominic Frontiere

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Inger Stevens, Ed Begley, Pat Hingle, Ben Johnson, Charles McGraw, Ruth White, Bruce Dern, Alan Hale Jr., Arlene Golonka, James Westerfield, Dennis Hopper, L.Q. Jones, Michael O'Sullivan, Joseph Sirola, James MacArthur, Bob Steele, Bert Freed

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Eastwood is Judge, Jury and Executioner!

Plot: When an innocent man barely survives a lynching, he returns as a lawman determined to bring the vigilantes to justice.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

If you were to make a list of the top actors suited for the Western genre then the top five would likely include Clint Eastwood for the majority.  He owns this genre and he's fantastic in this.  The premise is great but it's the final third of the story that brings this picture to a numbing halt.  The film's almost two hours long (a good twenty minutes longer than it needs to be) and the amount of time spent in the town waiting for the 6 person hanging is unnecessarily wrong.  I completely understand the reason why we spend so much time with it but it seems like they could have done it in a more curt way.  And then there's the romance between Cooper (Eastwood) and Rachel (Stevens) which goes on for far too long.  Again, it's clear why this subplot exists but did it have to go on for so long?  The picture is gangbusters action for more than an hour and then these two dragging sections are back to back creating one long drag just before it gets back to the action and quickly wraps up.  I do like the dour ending.  Dominic Frontiere's score might sound hokey but it's a lot of fun.  And it's great seeing Alan Hale Jr. in a menacing role.  The acting all around is great.  Pat Hingle has a sizable role and his scenes with Eastwood are outstanding.  It's a fun flick but be prepared for the quicksand.

End of Days (1999)

Director: Peter Hyams

Writer: Andrew W. Marlowe

Composer: John Debney

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak, CCH Pounder, Derrick O'Connor, David Weisenberg, Rainer Judd, Miriam Margolyes, Udo Kier, Rod Steiger, Marc Lawrence, Sven-Ole Thorsen

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Prepare for the end.

Plot: At the end of the century, Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's up to an ex-cop who now runs an elite security outfit to stop him.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

While it's strange seeing Schwarzenegger in a film like this, it's also refreshing. He's the star but it's not your typical Schwarzenegger picture.  His acting is par for the course with the occasional dip into bad territory.  Gabriel Byrne, though, is the shit in this.  He's great. Kevin Pollak is fun, too, and Robin Tunney does a great job as the object of Satan's attraction.  The story is pretty good but there's something about this picture that didn't work for me and I can't put my finger on it.  It could be this was a 100 minute film in a 121 minute body. I don't know.  It'd take another viewing to figure it out but I don't find it compelling enough to warrant another go at it.  I dug it but not THAT much.  I REALLY dug the ending and with Jericho's (Schwarzenegger) decision.  Nice.  Very nice. 

The Ipcress File (1965)

Director: Sidney J. Furie

Writers: W.H. Canaway, James Doran, Len Deighton

Composer: John Barry

Starring: Michael Caine, Nigel Green, Guy Doleman, Sue Lloyd, Gordon Jackson, Aubrey Richards, Frank Gatliff, Thomas Baptiste, Oliver MacGreevy, Freda Bamford

More info: IMDb


Plot: In London, a counter espionage agent deals with his own bureaucracy while investigating the kidnapping and brainwashing of British scientists.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

After watching the disappointing Michael Caine vehicle,  THE ITALIAN JOB (1969) the night before, I wanted to rectify that with watching a Caine flick I hadn't seen in years but I knew was a real peach of a flick.  This is how you make a spy picture in the mid-60s amidst the James Bond phenomena and not go for spoofing or aping it.  Caine is great, as usual, and so is the rest of the cast, especially Nigel Green.  The story is pretty good, too, but it's the stuff with Palmer and his superiors and co-workers that really works for me.  The storyline with the scientists is good and interesting but I really dig how Palmer interacts with others and how he's not your typical spy.  It's been ages since I saw the two sequels (one I remember was pretty good and the other was dreadfully boring) but it won't be much longer before I revisit them, too.  Oh, and John Barry's magnificent score does wonders to help the tension in this picture.  The camera angles, too, are fantastic.  There's some really neat artistry at work here.  It's really interesting that several Bond alumni worked on this picture including producer Harry Saltzman, composer John Barry, editor Peter R. Hunt, and production designer Ken Adam.  Find this one and soak it up.

The Good, the Bad, the Weird (2008)

Original title: Joheunnom Nabbeunnom Isanghannoom

Director: Kim Jee-Woon

Writers: Kim Jee-Woon, Min-Suk Kim

Composers: Dalparan, Yeong-Gyu Jang

Starring: Kang-Ho Song, Byung-Hun Lee, Woo-Sung Jung, Je-Mun Yun, Seung-Su Ryu, Young-Chang Song, Byung-Ho Son, Dal-Su Oh, Cheong-A Lee, Kwang-Il Kim

More info: IMDb

Plot: The story of two outlaws and a bounty hunter in 1940s Manchuria and their rivalry to possess a treasure map while being pursued by the Japanese army and Chinese bandits.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Probably.

This is a very stylized flick where the style is like to either excite or piss off the audience.  Some of the look and characters are distracting in that over the top, this is bullshit, way that happens when you've got a director who really wants to make an outrageous picture that hopes to achieve a cult status or something of the like.  It's obvious the director saw Tarantino's KILL BILL (2003) and wanted to play in that guy's sandbox of style.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  It doesn't when it's insanely obvious.  He even goes so far as to use the same bit of the American pop song, Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, in the film, the same tune used at the beginning of the KILL BILL fight with O-Ren Ishii.  Shit like that bugs the piss out of me.  The music score is all over the place and as such, it only partially works. However, there's no denying the wonderfully comic performance of Kang-Ho Song as "The Weird".  He's fantastic.  He's an actor that gets a lot of mileage out of his facial expressions no matter how subtle they are.  I can't remember the character's name but the guy with the pompadour is hilarious.  It's a pretty fun flick with lots of action and gunfights.  It looks like a Western but set in the East and in the 1940s.  If you can stomach a film whose characters are either incredible shots or those who can't hit the broad side of a barn, depending on what the story calls for...if you can overlook crap like that, you'll find a fun movie that sometimes tries too hard but ultimately will probably leave you with a smile on your face.