Taken (2008)

Director: Pierre Morel

Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Leland Orser, Jon Gries, David warshofsky, Holly Valance, Famke Janssen

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They took his daughter. He'll take their lives.

Plot: A retired CIA agent travels across Europe and relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who was kidnapped on a trip to Paris to be sold into prostitution.

My rating: Easily 8/10

Will I watch it again? Duh.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Liam Neeson is a badass! Once the shit went down a few minutes in this was a fucking blast all the way to the last drop. His character is one of those no-nonsense characters that's fucking great at what he does which is permanently fucking up people's shit. There's no flinching and there's not a wasted moment. He knows what to do and he does it. I love characters like that. Like Mal from FIREFLY (2002). He's got no problem killing someone before they give some bullshit speech to negotiate. The action scenes are tight even if a little jittery (but not enough to piss me off). It'd be nice if they didn't resort to that style of filming but it could be a metric shit ton worse. The kills are great. Watch the unrated international version if you have a choice. It's brutal. I see there's a sequel due to come out this year. I'm not sure how I feel about it but if they can maintain the badassness of the first then I'm on board.

Adventureland (2009)

Director: Greg Mottola

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kelsey Ford, Michael Zegen, Ryan McFarland, Jack Gilpin, Bill Hader, Kristen Stewart, Ryan Reynolds

More info: IMDb

Tagline: It was the worst job they ever imagined... and the best time of their lives.

Plot: A comedy set in the summer of 1987 and centered around a recent high school grad who takes a nowhere job at his local amusement park, only to find it's the perfect course to get him prepared for the real world.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Noop.

Sometimes the hype can't live up to it. This is a flick that I had heard from so many people that it was a very good movie. I liked it OK but it's not doing anything that I haven't seen many times before. It's not that it should for me to dig it but I was hoping there would be something of interest for me besides hearing Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus" a gazillion times (man, I love that tune). I guess Michael Cera was busy making another picture so they got Jesse Eisenberg. He does a fine job I suppose but I can't shake that he's pulling a Cera. Anyway, this film wasn't made for me. It was made for kids 20 years younger that are in college or are skipping college to sell candles or something. Beats the fuck out of me. All I know is I've got another DVD to sell at the flea market.

Child's Play 4: Bride of Chucky (1998)

Director: Ronny Yu

Starring: Brad Dourif, Jennifer Tilly, Katherine Heigl, Nick Stabile, Alexis Arquette, Gordon Michael Woolvett, John Ritter, Lawrence Dane

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Chucky Gets Lucky.

Plot: Sorry Jack! Chucky's back! In this horror flick, the murderous serial killer, Charles Lee Ray, has his body parts being held at a criminal evidence station in the form of a small doll known as the famous Chucky. When his old-time sweet heart, Tiffany, picks up his remaining limbs and puts them back together, she performs a ritual that revives the murderous maniac. But Chucky decides that he wants another individual to help him with his dirty work. So he kills Tiffany, and then revives her as a "doll bride". When they decide to spend their honeymoon with another happy couple on the highway, it becomes another murder spree. With a "blood-bath on wheels" and two murderous dolls, the human couples find that this was going to be a "Highway To Hell" in this gruesome film of blood and gore and a little bit of Chucky & Tiffany.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? To quote the Koolaid Man...OH, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT! I just watched the best movie of the franchise that easily beats the first flick. This was a total hoot from start to finish. I can see just watching this movie whenever I'm ready to revisit Chucky. For starters, it's got Jennifer Tilly who is on my short list of women who need to have my babies. That voice and that body! O...M...F...G! This had to be the height of her sultry, sexy best.


The opening credits fill us in with what's been going on under the awesomely appropriate Rob Zombie song, "Living Dead Girl". I could tell at this point that this was going to be something special. I'm not even 10 minutes in and I've already got a woody for this flick.


What's this? John Ritter plays a corrupt cop who ends up being a real dickhead to his daughter and everybody else? Hell, YEAH! I just love the interplay between Tiffany and Chucky. The dialogue, gags, situations, kills - the works. It's hilarious and I'm in disbelief that it's this good. The stuff between the two teen love birds thinking the other is the killer is priceless. Then there are the awesome kills! The only thing I really didn't dig was the exhumation at the end. That part didn't make any sense except to give Chucky a deadline to get what he needs to be a man again. I can forgive it though because the rest of the film is just so fucking fun and hilarious. If you haven't seen this franchise, start from the beginning and know, as you're watching films 2 & 3, that you will get kicked in the nuts with all kinds of awesomeness when you get to BRIDE.

MoH 111: Pick Me Up (2006)

Director: Larry Cohen

Starring: Michael Moriarty, Fairuza Balk, Warren Kole, Laurene Landon, Malcolm Kennard, Tom Pickett, Peter Benson

More info: IMDb

Plot: In the middle of nowhere, with only a two-lane highway to connect it to anywhere--probably upstate New York--a recently divorced female traveler, who is a passenger on a bus that has broken down, gets caught in a bizarre and violent turf war between serial killers.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Sure.

I'm a huge fan of Larry Cohen's work although I'm ashamed that I haven't gone through his entire catalog. IT'S ALIVE (1974) and GOD TOLD ME TO (1976) are great genre flicks that are high in entertainment. He knows how to make a fun picture. PICK ME UP delivers some fun characters and an interesting premise, one I'm surprised hasn't been done before. Michael Moriarty is having a good time as the killer trucker. Part of my enjoyment came from seeing him totally against type. He hams it up a little too much at times but I can forgive it considering the story. This isn't exactly THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991) but there is a great scene involving skinning a female victim. Yummy. The conclusion is wickedly funny, too.

The Sea Hawk (1940)

Director: Michael Curtiz

Starring: Errol Flynn, Brenda Marshall, Claude Rains, Donald Crisp, Flora Robson, Alan Hale, Henry Daniell, Una O'Connor, James Stephenson, Gilbert Roland

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Dashing . . . romantic . . . Errol Flynn at his thrilling best!

Plot: Captain Geoffrey Thorpe is a privateer, one of several Sea Hawks, who on behalf of Queen Elizabeth I keep the shipping lanes open. When he sinks a Spanish galleon carrying the new Spanish ambassador to England, Don José Alvarez de Cordoba and his niece Doña Maria, the Queen is displeased since they are not at war. Thorpe and his kind are very wary of Spain and urge the Queen to build up the fleet. With the Queen's tacit approval, Thorpe goes to Panama to capture his enemies treasure but they are betrayed. Brought before a Spanish court, he and his men are sentenced to the galleys as slaves. He manages to escape with proof that the Spanish Armada will sail against England.

My rating: 10/10

Will I watch it again? YES!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my absolute favorite pirate movie. There will probably never be another that will top it. It's loaded with action, romance, action, swordplay, and even more action. If you don't fall in love with Flynn based on this movie alone then you're probably no longer breathing. I would get a sex change to have Erroll Flynn's babies. That's how awesome and charismatic this cat is in this picture. The dialogue is so choice. Every word that comes out of Thorpe's (Flynn) mouth is pitch perfect and Flynn knows how to deliver every syllable with such grace and ease that it almost sounds like music. And how about those exchanges between Thorpe and the Queen (played by Flora Robson who, by the way, plays her part to a tee. The underlying sexual tones are so juicy and fun.


The pacing, photography, sets, costumes, everything comes together to make one hell of a rousing pirated adventure. But one of my favorite aspects is Erich Wolfgang Korngold's rousing orchestral score. WOW! Just like his music for another Flynn vehicle, THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD (1938), this one delivers fun and pure escapism in spades. I can just see myself sailing the Seven Seas with his music blaring on the speakers across the deck. It's so inspiring that I'd probably bust out a sword and start hacking at shit only to be promptly arrested for trying to skewer some of the more scurvy-doggged-looking passengers. This is why the Carnival Cruise line has me at the top of their shit list. Someday I'll be on a cruise ship that will pass one of theirs in the night and I'll convince the crew to steer near her so we can board her and exact my revenge. Yarrrrrrrrrr!

Child's Play 3 (1991)

Director: Jack Bender

Starring: Perry Reeves, Brad Dourif, Jeremy Sylvers, Justin Whalin, Peter Haskell, Travis Fine, Dean Jacobson

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Look who's stalking!

Plot: It's been eight years since the events in the second film, we now see that Andy is a teenager who has been enrolled in a military school. Play Pals Toy Company decides to re-release its Good Guys line, feeling that after all this time, the bad publicity has died down. As they re-used old materials, the spirit of Charles Lee Ray once again comes to life. In his search for Andy, Chucky falls into the hands of a younger boy, and he realizes that it may be easier to transfer his soul into this unsuspecting child. Andy is the only one who knows what Chucky is up to, and it's now up to him to put a stop to it.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Eh, maybe.

Nope. We don't get a Chucky-centric this time, either. Damnit!!! He's the reason why people watch these things. I want some killer doll action. This franchise is getting worse as it goes. They're still kind of worth watching but gee whiz. I dig the opening credit sequence showing us how Chucky gets revived. They can get as crazy as they want on this stuff and I'm down with it. It reminded me of how Hammer used to revive Dracula at the beginning of all of his sequels. I love it. This trip has Chucky going after Andy who is now in military school. YAWN!!! At least we get a Chucky kill in the first 20 minutes. After that fun gore fest it's all downhill. I didn't care for any of the military school business. The only high spots were when Chucky shows up for some sport. I really dug the carnival fun house ending. I'm a sucker for carnivals and fun houses so I was content. Their so alive with all kinds of craziness. Other than that, I was pretty disappointed.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Director: Christopher Nolan

Starring: The same cats from the other two flicks plus Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The Legend Ends

Plot: Despite his tarnished reputation after the events of The Dark Knight, in which he took the rap for Dent's crimes, Batman feels compelled to intervene to assist the city and its police force which is struggling to cope with Bane's plans to destroy the city.

My rating: 9/10

Will I watch it again? Fuck & Yeah!

OK, so now that I've seen it twice (and yesterday it was on an IMAX screen) I'm completely re-doing this review. I first caught this at the first midnight showing which was also during a marathon which included the first two films. By the time DKR came on I'd been in an increasingly warmer (the air conditioner wasn't pumping as hard as it should have) theater for 9 hours, I was getting tired and I was coming off a Coke/popcorn/candy high. These were terrible conditions to see a movie. That night I gave this a 6.5/10. I didn't like it all that much and I had a lot of questions, ala PROMETHEUS (2012), regarding perceived plot holes.


Watching it again with a clear head I can see now that I was wrong about this movie - very, very wrong. It's fantastic. All of my questions seemed ridiculously silly as they were answered on the screen one by one. My only real beef with any of the picture is some of the score mix. There were moments where it was difficult to understand Batman or Bane (or anyone else who wasn't speaking with a plain, normal-volume voice) because the music was too loud. That's annoying. But everything else I totally dug.


I really like Bane's voice. It's different. He made an interesting and fun villain. His fight with Bats at the end was especially good. And I LOVED how the camera stayed on the fight scenes without jerking around with frenetic editing. It was like the good ole days when you could watch a fight and see what the hell was going on. When actors and stuntmen spend weeks and months working on the choreography, it's nice to be able to see all of that hard work pay off and not hidden behind camera tricks and quick edits.


Ann Hathaway surprised the shit out of me. She was fantastic. I loved how she was Catwoman without being 'Catwoman' if you know what I mean. I liked the devastation of the city and how they were able to tie this with the first film. It gives a sense of completion to the three Nolan flicks. I also LOVED the ending (this would be the coda, letting us know what happens to the major characters).


There are some little things (that could be huge to some people) that I'm willing to overlook; things like how quickly Wayne recovers from his injuries, how quickly he trusts Selina Kyle, as well as characters that felt unnecessary enough that they could have been cut with some minor adjusting (I'm looking at you, Foley (Matthew Modine)). I'm going to suspend my disbelief for these things and fill in the blanks myself. This is a near-three hour movie anyway and it's possible some important details were left on the cutting room floor. It could happen. Regardless, it's not the kind of major fuck ups that PROMETHEUS had. I thoroughly enjoyed this picture and I'm so glad I gave it another chance. It's amazing how many things around you can distort how much you like/dislike a movie and how seeing them under the right conditions can completely change all of that.