Return to Horror High (1987)

Director: Bill Froehlich

Starring: Richard Brestoff, George Clooney, Vince Edwards, Al Fann, Panchito Gomez, Brendan Hughes, Maureen McCormick, Alex Rocco

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Killer to the left...Killer to the right...Stand up...Sit down...FRIGHT! FRIGHT! FRIGHT!

Plot: A few years ago, a mysterious serial-killer caused panic on Crippen High School. The killer was never caught. A movie company, Cosmic Pictures, has decided to make a feature movie about these events - on location, at the now abandoned school. Since members of cast and crew disappear without a trace, it seems as if history is repeating itself...

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Here's an 80s slasher movie that's trying to be clever and only partially succeeds. After you 'get' what's going on with the actual story and the movie that's being made within the movie, it's time to move onto something else. It's a decent slasher with nudity, gore, humor and all but once I got on board with the film maker's conceit I just didn't care. It's like someone telling you a joke that seems to take forever but you see the punchline a mile away and you spend the rest of the time waving your arms to get your friend to hurry up and finish the joke. That's this movie. It's OK but it shouldn't have lasted as long as it did. If you're wanting to watch it for an early appearance of George Clooney, you won't have to commit to more than probably 20 minutes. He was the smart one.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)

Director: Jake Kasdan

Starring: John C. Reilly, Tim Meadows, Kristen Wiig, Jenna Fischer, Matt Besser, Chris Parnell

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Life made him tough. Love made him strong. Music made him hard.

Plot: The up-and-down-and-up-again story of musician Dewey Cox, whose songs would change a nation. On his rock 'n roll spiral, Cox sleeps with 411 women, marries three times, has 36 kids, stars in his own 70s TV show, collects friends ranging from Elvis to the Beatles to a chimp, and gets addicted to - and then kicks - every drug known to man; but despite it all, Cox grows into a national icon and eventually earns the love of a good woman - longtime backup singer Darlene.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah.

I've been a big fan of John C. Riley's for probably twenty years and I was thrilled to see him to finally star in a big budget comedy because he's a really funny guy. I was also worried that it was going to be along the lines of the typical lame Will Ferrell comedies that man keeps cranking out. Fortunately it's not and it's a genuinely great satire of the popular music industry that feels very much Monty Python-esque in that the humor is literally all over the place from silly slapstick to biting, intelligent satire. The performances are great with Riley as the standout, the script is clever and doesn't always go for the obvious (huge points there) and the songs are catchy and spot on for hitting their targets. WALK HARD might not be a home run but it's a great film that hit most of what it was aiming for. Besides, with lyrics like "In my dreams you're blowin' me...some kisses." Ahahahahahaha.

Carlito's Way (1993)

Director: Brian De Palma

Starring: Al Pacino, Sean Penn, Penelope Ann Miller, John Leguizamo, Ingrid Rogers, Luis Guzman, James Rebhorn, Joseph Siravo, Viggo Mortensen

More info: IMDb

Plot: Finally released from prison, Carlito Brigante has vowed that he will not go back to the life he once had. His move to a new life isn't easy, as Carlito must resist every taunt and every opportunity back into his old lifestyle. He meets up with his old love, Gail who shows him the person he can be in a happy life, but his good friend and lawyer, David Kleinfeld is having problems of his own and would love the help he could gain from the legend known as Carlito.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes!

After recently watching DePalma & Pacino's previous gangster turn in SCARFACE (1983) (and for the last time) it was nice to revisit CARLITO, a much better film. It's a more mature picture and more solidly put together. The music plays a big part and it's one of the better-used song soundtracks out there. Pacino is much better than his Scarface character. I'll stop right here comparing the two films although it is difficult not to.


Sean Penn is great as Carlito's shady lawyer. He's a lot of fun, actually, a real skeezy guy. Penelope Ann Miller does a fine job as well and we even get to see more of her than usual. Hubba hubba. There's a lot to like in this gangster, drug, crime picture from the solid performances to the great dialogue, tense conflicts and great disco era soundtrack. Check it out if you haven't already.

The Invention of Lying (2010)

Directors: Ricky Gervais & Matthew Robinson

Starring: Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Louis C.K., Jeffrey Tambor, Fionnula Flanagan, Rob Lowe, Tina Fey, Christopher Guest, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Bateman, Edward Norton

More info: IMDb

Tagline: In a world where everyone can only tell the truth... ...this guy can lie.

Plot: It's a world where everyone tells the truth - and just about anything they're thinking. Mark Bellison is a screenwriter, about to be fired. He's short and chunky with a flat nose - a genetic pool that means he won't get to first base with Anna, the woman he loves. At a bank, on the spur of the moment he blurts out a fib, with eye-popping results. Then, when his mother's on her deathbed, frightened of the eternal void awaiting her, Mark invents fiction. The hospital staff overhear his description of Heaven, believe every word, and tell others. Soon Mark is a prophet, his first inventive screenplay makes him rich, and he's basically a good guy. But will that be enough for Anna?

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Noop.

I'm a huge fan of Ricky Gervais's UK TV comedy, THE OFFICE and I generally really dig this guy's edgy, biting humor. I guess that's why I'm disappointed with this flick which he co-wrote and co-directed. The story is kind of neat and could be ripe with all kinds of possibilities but it somehow misses the mark kind of like Mike Judge's IDIOCRACY - there are some good bits and gags but it left me unfulfilled.



For starters this takes place in a world where no one has ever lied so that means everyone tells the truth. Duh. But what feels strange is that the characters not only tell the truth but speak their inner dialogue which doesn't sit well with me. I could be wrong but speaking your mind and telling the truth aren't necessarily the same thing. My other big issue is, while this looks like a well-made movie, it isn't. It's disjointed and it plays like there are scenes that were cut that would help the structure feel more like a nicely flowing narrative. Oh, the product placement is embarrassing.


There are touches of hilarity and emotion but they don't feel balanced in a way that they are able to compliment each other. There's a really heartfelt scene when Mark (Gervais) concocts a story to make his dying mother happy just before she snuffs it in her hospital bed. I actually teared up. Everyone in the movie believes that when you die, that's it. The lights are out and there is no "other side" (I'm of the same opinion, btw). He basically makes up this story about what most people (not in the movie) believe to be heaven. She dies with a smile on her face. It's here where the movie takes a turn toward religious satire which is hit and miss. I laughed every once in a while but when it was all over it felt like this flick was trying to be two movies and the only way to do this was to compromise. Gervais & co. should have given this one more thought before committing it to film and letting it loose unto the world.

The Cave (2005)

Director: Bruce Hunt

Starring: Cole Hauser, Eddie Cibrian, Morris Chestnut, Lena Headey, Piper Perabo, Rick Ravanello, Daniel Dae Kim, Kieran Darcy-Smith, Marcel Lures

More info: IMDb

Tagline: There are places man was never meant to go.

Plot: Decades after a rock church in communist Romania's Carpathians caved when an expedition caused a landslide and buried everyone, Dr. Nicolai's scientific team exploring the associated Templar Knights monster fighting-legend discovers a deep, flooded cave system and hires the brothers Jack and Tyler's brilliant divers team to explore it. Another explosion traps them, after finding a mysterious parasite turning all species carnivore, and later an independently evolved predator species. Jack may be infected and turning, but Tyler sticks with him, so the group splits, hunted by the monsters, which also fly.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

I didn't care much for THE DESCENT which sucks because I really dig caves. I'd heard a lot of positive talk about it and I didn't see how it could fail but it did. I've done a little bit of cave exploring myself and I never pass up an opportunity to take a cave tour whenever I'm near one. I also dig diving and underground waterways. That means that I'm primed and ready for THE CAVE and blow my ass away. In a way, it did.



I expected a bunch of hot young somethings doing and saying badass shit underground and that's not too far off the mark but what I didn't expect was all of that type of shit was played down more than usual and that the underwater and cave photography is stunning and utterly jaw-dropping. I use such high praise because this is a low budget film that has no right to look this good but it does. I'm most impressed - impressed enough to give THE DESCENT another look. Maybe this time I'll like it. If THE CAVE can do that then it's even better than I thought. If this sounds remotely interesting then you need to see this. Don't overlook it because the DVD box reeks of direct to DVD, Sci-Fi channel, low budget horseshit because it ain't.

Judge Dredd (1995)

Director: Danny Cannon

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider, Jurgen Prochnow, Max von Sydow, Diane Lane, Joanna Miles, Joan Chen

More info: IMDb

Tagline: One man is Judge, Jury, AND Executioner.

Plot: In a dystopic future, where urban areas have grown into mega cities that cover entire coastal regions, the justice system has evolved to a single person invested with the power of police, judge, jury, and executioner: the Judge. Among the Judges of Mega-City One, Judge Dredd is one of the best, and a particular favorite of the Head of the Council, Judge Fargo. But there are evil forces at work in the Justice Dept: block riots and the escape of Rico, a homicidal maniac, are only steps in a plan that ultimately lead to the sentencing of Dredd for a murder he didn't commit. And Dredd must discover the secrets of his own past and survive to stop the evildoers.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

By the late 1990s I had only watched about 3 or 4 of Stallone's movies, something I've been making up for over the past few years as I've since become a huge fan of his career. He made some really fun movies and I'm ashamed to admit that I used to dismiss his work as dumb and boneheaded without finding out for myself. That was the 'me' of 20 years ago. Having said that, this isn't all that great but it was fun and I did enjoy myself. What surprised me is how short it was and how simple everything laid out. There's nothing wrong with that but for a sci-fi comic book movie I thought there'd be a bit more to the story or elongated action set pieces. It's always great to see Armand Assante (what a great name - I don't care what you look like, if you had that name you'd never go without chicks). For a solid performance, though, check him out in HOFFA (1992). It's a magnificent film.

An American Crime (2007)

Director: Tommy O'Haver

Starring: Ellen Page, Hayley McFarland, Nick Searcy, Romy Rosemont, Catherine Keener, Ari Graynor, Scout Taylor-Compton, James Franco

More info: IMDb

Tagline: This has been the most terrible crime ever committed in the state of Indiana

Plot: Based on a true story that shocked the nation in 1965, the film recounts one of the most shocking crimes ever committed against a single victim. Sylvia and Jennie Fae Likens, the two daughters of traveling carnival workers are left for an extended stay at the Indianapolis (3850 E. New York St. is hardly suburban, nor was it in 1965, by any stretch of the imagination.) home of single mother Gertrude Baniszewski and her six children. Times are tough, and Gertrude's financial needs cause her to make this arrangement before realizing how the burden will push her unstable nature to a breaking point. What transpires in the next three months is both riveting and horrific, leaving one child dead and the rest scarred for life.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah, I'll watch THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2007) instead.

There were two films that came out in 2007 dealing with this true crime case. I saw THE GIRL NEXT DOOR first and I expect the first one you watch will be the one you prefer. But then these two films fill different voids. This one has a little more emotional impact whereas TGND is cold, brutal and in your face. AAC is more mainstream audience-friendly since it shows very little of what makes these two girls' ordeal so horrific. Grandma wouldn't be able to stomach either picture but AAC makes it more digestible. It's a pretty good film but because it's so focused on the emotional angle that it cheated the audience out of bringing the horror all the way home. I think crimes like this are best served with the stark details at the forefront. I'm not opposed to emotional weight and impact but to truly get a grasp of something as hideous as this you need a good mix of both emotion and cruel details.