The Land Unknown (1957)

Director:  Virgil W. Vogel

Writer:  Laszlo Gorog, William N. Robson, Charles Palmer

Composer:  Henry Mancini, Heinz Roemheld, Hans J. Salter, Herman Stein

Starring:  Jock Mahoney, Shirley Patterson, William Reynolds, Henry Brandon, Douglas Kennedy, Phil Harvey

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  Lost and Terrorized in Prehistoric Time.

Plot:  Three men and a woman crash-land in a deep crater in Antarctica, where they find a prehistoric world.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Nope.

This simple and mildly entertaining adventure flick checks all the right boxes for a reasonable 78-minute romp for some brainless time killing.  That's hardly a winning endorsement but it's not trying to be anything else.  The cast do a fine job with everyone filling their roles nicely.  The plot is straightforward and the dialogue serves it well enough.  See the trailer to get an idea how much money and effort were spent, although I thought the integration of the giant lizard footage was handled better than usual.  The man-in-suit T-Rex is laughable.  I was pleasantly surprised by the ending but, overall, the picture is by the numbers, goofy entertainment.  The word on the street is this was originally going to be given a much better and bigger treatment until it got downgraded to a B-level production, including being shot in color.  I do, however, like that it was shot in B&W.

Outside the Law (1930)

Director:  Tod Browning

Writer: Tod Browning, Garret Fort

Composer:  Cecil Arnold, Sam Perry, Heinz Roemheld

Starring:  Mary Nolan, Edward G. Robinson, Owen Moore, Rockliffe Fellowes, Delmar Watson, Eddie Sturgis, John George

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  The most powerfully thrilling underworld melodrama of all!

Plot:  Fingers (Moore) is planning a half-million-dollar bank robbery in gang boss Cobra Collins' (Robinson) territory. Fingers and his gal, Connie (Nolan), try to bluff Cobra into thinking otherwise.  Once the job is done, Fingers and Connie stay holed-up while Cobra, and the police, try to find them.

My rating:  6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Oh, boy!  It's an Edward G. Robinson picture I haven't seen before.  Oh, no, he's hardly in it.  I love that man's work but his earliest performances can be tough to watch sometimes.  But I think that a lot of it can be contributed to the early days of talkies and how rough they can be.  OUTSIDE THE LAW is a great example.  Tod Browning's camera doesn't move, the dialogue sometimes doesn't move smoothly between character exchanges and there's a noticable lack of music (except for the final act) is sorely missed, leaving scenes dragging.  Robinson is fine and my favorite moment of his is right at the start when he sees Fingers in a bank window.  His look is cold and menacing.

Now I'm intrigued!  What follows is a weak first act that gets too complicated for its own good.  Now that Fingers knows that Cobra is onto him, he gets his girlfriend, Connie, to join a sleazy sideshow-like job posing scantily in life-like recreations of famous sexy paintings for the horny male public just so she can get noticed by Cobra so she can seduce him or something to get him off the scent of Fingers.  Now that's a stretch!  What's great is Cobra is the fucking man and he's two steps ahead of them but they keep trying and failing.  Another neat thing about Cobra is you find out his mother is Chinese and the two speak to each other in Chinese.  It's a brief scene and it's a nice touch even though Cobra isn't referenced as being Chinese at any other point. 

After the robbery, the movie belongs to Fingers and Connie for most of the rest of the picture, holed-up in a small apartment.  That's where the dull stuff comes in.  Up to this point, actress Mary Nolan's been doing the standard tough girl act but now she's just a downright asshole to Fingers.  Part of it's because she's stuck with the stir crazy and happy Fingers.  But Nolan does this poorly and between her performance in these scenes plus the static camera, framing and slow dialogue exchanges, it's not interesting and drags the picture down.  Owen Moore, on the other hand, outshines Nolan and he's fun to watch, especially every time the kid (Watson) shows up.  He and the kid are great together. 

 

 

See?  She even makes kids cry!  Fortunately, things pick up considerably in the final act when the shit hits the fan when Cobra shows up and throws a massive monkey wrench into the works.  This is easily the best part of the picture.  A lot happens in a short period of time and one of them is Connie having to be nice for a change.  Suddenly Nolan shows some good acting chops and she's killing it!  After the tense build-up to the finish line, the ending is satisfactory and surprising.  It benefits from being made before the Hayes Code set in. 

It's worth a look for fans of Eddie G. but that second half hour in the apartment can by trying yet rewarding in a way.

Queen of the Amazons (1947)

Director:  Edward Finney

Writer:  Roger Merton

Composer:  STOCK MUSIC

Starring:  Robert Lowery, Patricia Morison, J. Edward Bromberg, John Miljan, Amira Moustafa, Keith Richards, Bruce Edwards

More info:  IMDb

Tagline:  White Goddess of the Dark Jungle... She offered ECSTASY and DEATH!

Plot:  A woman's husband has disappeared on an expedition into the jungle. She hires a guide to take her into the jungle to find him. However, they discover that he has been captured by a savage female tribe.

My rating:  6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Nah.


For an hour long, low budget jungle adventure picture, this one's not bad.  There's enough jungle action to keep you entertained, the actors do a better job than you'd expect, there's a little bit of humor sprinkled in (although I didn't find any of it all that funny), there's a small monkey doing small trained monkey things (big plus) and the final fight is high energy and exciting.  This film isn't trying to be anything more than entertaining for, probably, the younger audiences and I think it succeeds better than it should have.  It makes for a fun time killer on a lazy afternoon.  Watch the whole thing above.

The Secret Invasion (1964)

Director:  Roger Corman

Writer:  R. Wright Campbell

Composer:  Hugo Friedhofer

Starring:  Stewart Granger, Raf Vallone, Mickey Rooney, Edd Byrnes, Henry Silva, Spela Rozin, William Campbell

More info: IMDb

Tagline:  A Mad Major! A Master Criminal! A Demolition Demon! A Forger! An Assassin! Yet All Became Heroes When They Launched...

Plot:  In 1943, a group of hardened criminals is pardoned on the condition it accepts a mission to free a captive Italian general from the clutches of the Nazis.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I digs me those 1960s WWII action pictures and I was so ready for this one...that is until I saw Roger Corman's name in the opening credits.  He's the opposite of big budget all-star action movies.  But still, I'm open to new things.  The story gets right to the point from the get-go by assembling the team and presenting the mission in the first five minutes!  And in the next 6 minutes, they're off to the beautiful shooting location of Yugoslavia!  Corman does a quick job of getting this picture moving.  The scenery is gorgeous.  That helps the movie more than anything.  The cast does a good job with mixed results.  Granger does his standard down-to-business/I'm-carrying-the-weight-of-the-world-on-his-shoulders performance. Raf Vallone is easily the MVP here.  He's fantastic.  Mickey Rooney can be fun when he isn't over-doing it.  It's so easy for him to over-act and he takes advantage of that.  Henry Silva doesn't talk much.  He was probably hired for his unusual mug and not his thespian skills.  And William Campbell looks like the Tony Curtis they could afford but he does a pretty good job.  Overall, they make a good team of actors.

Some of what dragged the picture down were things like the dialogue not flowing smoothing, unnecessarily padded, longer scenes, idiotic solutions for some of the problems they encounter and a general low budget vibe in spots.  The whole snapping of the fingers bit was set up and executed awkwardly.  First of all, they weren't keeping strict time and they were supposed to, which was the whole point of doing it in the first place.  It was used like what you'd see in a heist movie where several people each have a job to do that hinges on everyone doing their job at precisely the right moment or it falls apart.  They're busting out of a Nazi prison with a plan that relies on a few thought out beats but the rest has them winging it so a fixed schedule was impossible.  It's that kind of silliness that hurts the picture.  I also got the feeling like the film makers started with some scene ideas without a fully fleshed-out way of linking them.  Plus, the story feels rushed.  This picture definitely would've benefited from spending more time on the story.   Oh, and the dubbing has some pretty bad spots, too.

Fortunately for us, Corman couldn't resist an exploitation-y opportunity!

LT. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD...YARRRRRR!

There's a ballsy-as-fuck scene when Silva and Rozin are dangerously close to being discovered by German guards.  Her baby starts to cry and Silva covers its mouth to stop it.  Once the guards leave and they're safe, the baby isn't moving anymore.  THE FUCK?  They had the balls to kill a baby?  WOW!  NICE!!!  Hats off to Corman and writer Campbell!  I did not see that coming.

The often cheap feel is expected since that's what Corman was used to but he does a good job at times with elevating this to the level of what you'd expect from the film's big time siblings of the day.  The story is a bit reminiscent of the best of the "prisoners assembled for a secret WWII mission" sub genre with THE DIRTY DOZEN (1967).  Nothing comes close to that one as DOZEN is one of the all-time great films.  THE SECRET INVASION benefits by pre-dating DOZEN by three years.  If you're a fan of these types of pictures, you're going definitely going to want to see this but lower your expectations.  There are some nice things to be found here but overall, it's lacking.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)

Director: Richard Lester

Writers: Melvin Frank, Michael Pertwee, Burt Shevelove, Larry Gelbart, Titus Maccius Plautus

Composer: Stephen Sondheim, Ken Thorne

Starring: Zero Mostel, Phil Silvers, Buster Keaton, Michael Crawford, Jack Gilford, Annette Andre, Michael Hordern, Leon Greene, Roy Kinnear, Alfie Bass, John Bluthal, Pamela Brown, Patricia Jessel, Frank Thornton, Jon Pertwee

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Something for Everyone!

Plot: A wily slave must unite a virgin courtesan and his young smitten master to earn his freedom.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Sure.

I've seen this a few times over the decades and it's still a fun flick.  The performances are great, especially from Mostel who brings a lot of energy, the songs are catchy and it looks fabulous.  At times it has a Carry On vibe but the jokes are more consistently funny and the film doesn't drag.  It's not a knee-slapper, which is what I keep hoping it'll turn out to be when I watch it about once every ten years, but it's still a delightfully amusing film with a lot going for it.  If you ever get a chance to see the staged musical it's based on, do so.  Being in a room full of people laughing does wonders for your health.

Life (2017)

Director: Daniel Espinosa

Writers: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick

Composer: Jon Ekstrand

Starring: Hiroyuki Sanada, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Fergusson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Olga Dykhovichnaya, Ariyon Bakare

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Be careful what you search for.

Plot: A team of scientists aboard the International Space Station discover a rapidly evolving life form that caused extinction on Mars and now threatens all life on Earth.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Nope.

I remember seeing the trailer early on and thinking it looks like an ALIEN (1979) ripoff.  Now that I've seen it, I can say without doubt that I liked it better when it was called ALIEN (1979).  I gave it the usual suspension of disbelief but it's a stretch.  The big jump in buying into this is that you're to believe a single cell organism from Mars, with the right mixture of oxygen and hydrogen (you know, air) and whatever else causes this thing to grow incredibly fast.  It consumes the only living thing on the space station (a lab rat) before growing even larger and killing and feeding off of the human crew, one by one.  Not only that, it is super intelligent.  Not bad for having such a small start in life and with only hours (perhaps as much as 2-3 days) of growth.  That's the biggest hurdle your thinking brain has to overcome.  It makes it harder still that this takes place in Earth's orbit and it's otherwise more grounded in reality.  Except for the other bullshit like the organism knocking out communication with Earth and the astronauts having to "bypass" or "override" a satellite or some mumbo jumbo typical computer-y bullshit.  You know the kind.  It's an easy out but things don't always work out for these unlucky few.

There is a lot that is derivative of other science fiction horror movies and it only sometimes gets in the way of the storytelling.  As a piece of entertainment, it's pretty good but the weight of the issues above gets in the way sometimes and drags it down.  The thing is the acting is fine, the score, effects, pacing, et al, are done well enough to serve the film.  The problem is in the story.  It's not real enough to be taken seriously but it's also not bad enough to qualify as cheesy popcorn fun.  However, the tail end of the picture was great despite my realizing it earlier than I should've.  It's maybe worth a look but don't get too excited about it. 

Troy (2004)

Director: Wolfgang Petersen

Writers: Homer, David Benioff

Composer:  James Horner

Starring: Julian Glover, Brian Cox, Brad Pitt, Brendan Gleeson, Diane Kruger, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Julie Christie, Peter O'Toole

More info: IMDb

Tagline: For Honor.  For Victory.  For Love.  For Destiny.  For Passion.  For Troy.

Plot: An adaptation of Homer's great epic, the film follows the assault on Troy by the united Greek forces and chronicles the fates of the men involved.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Probably not.

When I caught this in the theater in 2004 I wasn't impressed.  I found Bloom to be an annoying prick, Pitt to be dolled up too much like a pretty boy and the female leads were underwritten and performed rather poorly.  Outside of that I liked it OK.  Cut to ten years later and I watched it again only this time it was the director's cut.  Now either for reasons of seeing it again or seeing this different cut, I liked it.  It was more violent than I remember and the major problems I perceived the first time around weren't as bad the second time.  I'm probably not going to watch it again to figure out exactly what it was.  It's a good film with some good action and performances but I think twice is my limit.  There are far too many movies I haven't seen to let this one slip in once more.