Wild Card (1992)

Director: Mel Damski

Writers: Ted Thackrey Jr., Scobie Richardson

Composer: W.G. Snuffy Walden

Starring: Powers Boothe, Cindy Pickett, Terry O'Quinn, Rene Auberjonois, M. Emmet Walsh

More info: IDMb

Tagline: Preacher still believes in God.  They're just not speaking right now.

Plot: Thriller about a former preacher, now a professional gambler, who heads down New Mexico way to visit an old buddy, only for him to be killed. It is not long before the Preacher is uncovering a hotbed of corruption and murder in the seemingly peaceful town, aptly named Farewell.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I figured this wasn't going to be all that good but considering I'm a big fan of Powers Boothe, Terry O'Quinn and a HUGE fan of M. Emmet Walsh and the story sounded less boring than adopting kids or something.  It is better and thanks to the cast.  The story moves along pretty well so at no point was I bored but there's no escaping the film's low budget TV movie feel.  Director Damski has worked almost entirely in TV since his first in 1974.  Hold on to your butts because he's currently working on GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE MASK MURDER (2018).  No joke.  It's in pre-production so it may be a while before you get to see it.  WILD CARD seems like it's a story you've seen a hundred times and for the most part it is but then you've got the three leads mentioned that elevate it.  The climax brings some welcome twists that also help the picture.  It's an OK movie that's neither very good nor is it even bad.  But there's one thing that was so atrocious I have to share this clip.   Preacher (Boothe) and Dana (Pickett) are walking along and then suddenly a helicopter appears out of nowhere but there is no way possible they wouldn't have seen it nor would they have not heard it a mile away and it literally comes from below and it hovers literally a few feet away from them.  Un-Fucking-Believable!  See for yourself and take a minute to pick your jaw off the floor.

Hillbilly Blitzkrieg (1942)

Director: Roy Mack

Writers: Ray Harris, Carl Harbaugh, Glen Lambert

Composer: Paul Sawtell

Starring: Bud Duncan, Edgar Kennedy, Cliff Nazarro, Lucien Littlefield, Doris Linden, Alan Baldwin, Jimmie Dodd, Frank Austin, Nicolle Andre

More info: IMDb

Tagline: IT'S HOWL-OSSAL!...THRILL-ARIOUS! Enough to make a top sergeant laugh!

Plot: Nazi spies mistake Snuffy Smith's moonshine for a new secret rocket fuel and try to steal the "formula."

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I had no idea they made movies with the beloved comic strip characters Snuffy Smith & Barney Google.  Bud Duncan and Cliff Nazarro were nicely cast as the pair (especially Duncan).  It looks as though Duncan came out of retirement to do PRIVATE SNUFFY SMITH (1942) and this one before retiring from film acting for good.  When he stopped the first time in 1931 he'd made over 200 films, nearly all of them comedy shorts.  In this picture the 4'11" Duncan stars alongside one of the most consistently great character actors, Edgar Kennedy (who stands over six feet).   Kennedy had an impressive nearly 450 credits before he died at the young age of 58.  Here he plays a sergeant to Duncan's private but he's only Snuffy's part time foil.  Snuffy, Barney and Sgt. Gatling have Nazi spies to contend with.  It's harmless fun and for the most part I found it mildly amusing until the end of the picture when Snuffy finds himself airborne after hiding inside the experimental rocket the Nazis were after.  It's right out of DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) that was another 22 years away.

Kubrick just had to have seen this which makes me chuckle just thinking about what that must've been like.  Maybe he saw it as a kid (he would've been 14 at the time of this release).  It's only 62 minutes long so it's an easy investment in your time.  Who would've thought that the Nazis had such a hard on for getting their hands on moonshine-based rocket fuel.  I'm sure this was an effort by the War Department to make sure every American felt threatened by our new enemies and even Hillbillies had a steak in seeing that we pushed those goose-steppin' bastards all the way back to Berlin before they got their hands on our precious party liquor and barefoot women!

Mickey One (1965)

Director: Arthur Penn


Writer: Alan Surgal

Composer: Eddie Sauter

Starring: Warren Beatty, Alexandra Stewart, Hurd Hatfield, Franchot Tone, Teddy Hart, Jeff Corey, Kamatari Fujiwara

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Number One... In Excitement... In Drama... In Suspense...

Plot: A comic steals the identity of a homeless man and goes on the run after the mob tries to kill him for an unknown reason.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I usually dig Beatty's work but he's part out of place and part mediocre.  I've always found his acting to hover close to one note but I really dig the tune.  Not this time.  Part of it is the story and some perhaps with the direction.  The film goes to some odd places that feel like Penn's trying to make this more than just a crime thriller of sorts.  He goes into bizarre territory with some scenes as if to make this an art house picture that transcends Hollywood but it didn't work for me because you also have to take into account of everything that surrounds those scenes and look at the picture as a whole.  I found it dull at times and sometimes outright drab.  I like the B&W photography and the jazzy score was good.  There's that, I suppose.  It's not compelling except for not knowing why Mickey is on the run from the mob.  He doesn't get far when he pushes the same questions.  There could be a better told story there somewhere but I didn't see it on the screen.

Bathman dal pianeta Eros (1982)

Director: Antonio D'Agnostino

Writer: Antonio D'Agnostino

Composer: Ubaldo Continiello

Starring: Mark Shannon, Riccardo Zamagni, Guia Lauri Filzi, Sabrina Mastrolorenzi, Giuseppe Alotta, Ornella Picozzi

More info: IMDb

Plot: Sexually-obsessed Bathman (Shannon) and Klito-Bell arrive from the planet Eros and fight perverted criminals on Earth, such as prostitutes and rapists, in this outrageous Batman spoof.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This is not the Batman porn parody you're looking for...or maybe it is.  I don't know you.  Bathman is pronounced as Batman, by the way.  This picture is 78 minutes long and it feels more than twice that which is the biggest problem.

But it looks like fun,right?  Well if you made a supercut with all of the goofiest scenes then maybe but I still have my limits.

The subs are fan made.  Sometimes it's obviously done for laughs but the subs seem to adhere to what is actually being said but with little tweaks here and there for comedic effect.

It's a porn parody so you get LOTS of fucking.  It's a little weird that most of the fuck scenes are so brief but there are lots of them and the movie ends with the longest of all that involves all of the heroes and villains in one giant orgy.  Even before that happens it's one setup for a sex scene after another with everyone fucking everybody else (except there's no guy on dude stuff).

The sex is generally OK at best.  The lesbian scenes fared best.  One of the problems is the music during the sex is usually goofy and played for laughs.  Hell, there's a couple of them that have pseudo Dixieland music for your fucking scene entertainment.  It doesn't work except for possibly being potentially funny.  The few decent parts are much better than their sum.  This was a struggle to finish.  I've done my community service and now it's back to digging for that rare gem among shit movies.

The Swinging Lust World of John Phillip Law (2007)

Directors: Yourek Dury, Marko Kapri


Starring: John Phillip Law, Domenico Giuliano, Don Stroud, Gordon Hessler, Mathias Sanderson

More info: ???

Plot:  Movie star John Phillip Law talks about his early career in movies.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This half hour documentary has Law talking about his early days leading up to becoming an actor and through his first few films ending with BARBARELLA (1968) and DANGER: DIABOLIK (1968).   That's the audio.  What plays behind it are Law's home movies showing him in various places like at his home in Hollywood and then in Italy.  In those you get a glimpse of quite a few celebrities which adds a neat factor.  There's not much time spent here to really get into the movies but Law gives us enough to satisfy and he's talking about the films he's most famous for.  THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1973) is briefly mentioned.  After that his film career is filled with lesser known stuff.  Law fans will naturally need to see this but it's also worth a look for those into genre pictures as there's plenty said about BARBARELLA, DANGER: DIABOLIK and DEATH RIDES A HORSE (1967).  Law died soon after making this documentary, which he also produced.

Bad Samaritan (2018)

Director: Dean Devlin

Writer: Brandon Boyce

Composer: Joseph LoDuca

Starring: David Tennant, Robert Sheehan, Kerry Condon, Jacqueline Byers, Lisa Brenner, Hannah Barefoot, Carlito Olivero, Bob Nagle, Dana Millican

More info:  IMDb

Tagline: One bad night...one bad decision...can haunt you forever

Plot:  A pair of burglars stumble upon a woman being held captive in a home they intended to rob.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Look, I know it rains a lot in the Pacific Northwest but does every freaking scene in this movie have to lit with dark mood lighting?   The interior filming has some low as shit light including places where people work.  It's aggravating.  I know it's only done for effect but it called attention to itself.  Also, all of the intended scares are jump scares.  The story has potential but somehow it got to the stage where the suits said it was adequate enough to push through production.  There are so many moments that are by the numbers.  The Mrs. and I just watched this alone in a theater so we could comment out loud without obviously disturbing anyone.  There's a moment when the FBI is waiting at the gate to check out a wooded residence but the one thing that's stopping them is the warrant that should be there at any moment.  Suddenly a shot is fired and one top agent says to the other, "What was that?".  My wife and I both said, "Probably cause", which is the exact same thing the other agent replied with.  There's stuff like that all through the picture.  Except for the jump scares, the movie is pretty well directed and acted, it's just that some of the situations needed some tweaking.  I didn't care for Tennant this time.  I usually dig the guy.  He's OK but it might be more that his character is a bit underwritten.  The ending is complete bullshit.   So and so should've been dead like they were portrayed to be but Hollywood can't let a teeny-bopper flick (which is what this is) go without loading it down with stupid-ass cliches.  If this is the first thriller you've seen then you'll probably like it.  If you've seen good movies before and you know when you're being insulted then sit this one out.

Ban the Sadist Videos! (2005) Parts 1 & 2

Director: David Gregory

Writer: David Gregory

Composer: Mark Raskin

Starring: Chris Theobald, Jesus Franco, Wes Craven, Ruggero Deodato, Dario Argento

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Likely to deprave and corrupt!

Plot: Part one presents an in-depth analysis of the "Video Nasty" scandal of the early 1980s in Britain and part two presents an investigation of UK video censorship after the video recordings act was introduced.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Probably not.

I've seen a few documentaries about England's "Video Nasties" and this one is the best...and last one that I'll see.  I think I'm done with this topic but I'm not done watching the funner'n'hell movies that are on the list.  It's a well produced film that not only covers the origins, as you would expect, as well as the massive controversy surrounding it and the subsequent arrests, trials and even murders attributed to watching these films, it also covers the aftermath and brings us up to date to the time this was made.  It's interesting and horrifying how bullshit coming from these prudish, ill informed and power hungry censorship assholes could get away with so much.  It's amazing what ignorant people will do when frightened by something they know little to nothing about.