Isle of Fury (1936)

Director: Frank McDonald

Writers: Robert Hardy Andrews, William Jacobs, W. Somerset Maughm

Composer: Howard Jackson

Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Margaret Lindsay, Donald Woods, E.E. Clive, Paul Graetz, Gordon Hart, George Regas, Sidney Bracey, Tetsu Komai, Miki Morita, Houseley Stevenson, Frank Lackteen, George Piltz

More info: IMDb

Plot: In the South Seas, Val Stevens and Lucille Gordon are getting married when a ship goes down offshore. Val rescues Captain Deever and passenger Eric Blacke. Later Eric saves Val from an octopus. Unknown as their friendship develops is the fact that Val is a fugitive and Eric is the detective sent to arrest him.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This is one of the few pre-famous Bogart films from the 1930s I've seen where he's not a stock bad guy.  He's actually doing some acting here and this is the Bogart that resembles what he was later to become.  Those other thug roles are interchangeable and bland.  This island adventure has him newlywed and in danger of losing her to the new dude in town that washed up on the shore.  There's a lot more to it but that's the main focus.  Bogart's got some problems at work that he alone has to solve.  The neat thing is he's a good man but his new bride is sweet on this other fella.  She's got good reasons for it and so does the new guy.  It's more complicated than the normal love triangle stuff.  Everyone's a good person so that makes it difficult for who to root for.  And then a big piece of information is dropped at the end that changes everything, something that's been hidden from the audience.  Sneaky bastards.  It's not a very good film but it's also far from bad and it's a reasonable hour long B-picture from the future star that's not a bad way to kill an hour.

Ralphie May: Too Big to Ignore (2012)

Directors: Michael Drumm, Chris Berkenkamp

Writer: Ralphie May

Starring: Ralphie May

More info: IMDb

Plot: Ralphie May proves he's TOO BIG TO IGNORE in his record breaking 4th Comedy Central Special.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I was sort of introduced to Ralphie May in 2016.  He was one of several comedians on the DVD THE BIG BLACK COMEDY SHOW, VOL. 2 (2005).  I about peed myself during his set.  He fucking killed.  A lot of the comics on that disc did.  May was last and boy, oh boy, what a finish.  I haven't heard him as funny as on that disc but this special is pretty fuckin' funny.  I can't believe the guy's dead.  What a tragic loss.  He is missed.  Oh, I said sort of earlier because the first time I came across him was on an episode of SQUIDBILLIES where he played a one time character of P-Nut and he was just as outrageous as he was in his stand up.  I just didn't know it was him until 2015.

The Traveler (2010)

Director: Michael Oblowitz

Writer: Joseph C. Muscat

Composer: Ross Vannelli

Starring: Val Kilmer, Dylan Neal, Paul McGillion, Camille Sullivan, Nels Lennarson, Chris Gauthier, John Cassini, Sierra Pitkin, Panou, Denise Poole, Zachary Throne

More info: IMDb

Tagline: How do you catch a killer you've already caught?

Plot: A slow, quiet Christmas Eve night at the police station turns into strange horror after a man enters claiming he wants to confess to murder.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Kilmer is close to sleeping his way through this picture.  I'm not saying he slept with someone to get the role but rather he's so laid back and quiet that he's practically asleep.  This dull thriller suffers a lot from the pacing.  Kilmer doesn't seem to care so why should the viewer?  He's the focal point after all.  The other actors seem like they're earnest with their acting.  I guess they made out best because they're all getting to do a picture with Val Kilmer.  The story isn't that bad and it's a shame the film turned out to be so slow.   If this were handled by a major studio that threw some money at it and gave it more experienced talent behind the camera (and some in front), this could've been a lot better.

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (2010) TV series

Creator: David Cross

Writers: David Cross, Shaun, Pye, Mark Chappell

Composers: Johnny Marr, Mark Rivers

Starring: David Cross, Will Arnett, Sharon Horgan, Blak Harrison, Sara Pascoe, Amber Tamblyn, Justin Edwards, Russ Tamblyn, Jon Hamm, Graham Duff

More info: IMDb

Tagline: World's worst liar.  Honest.

Plot: Todd Margaret is an American who takes a job running the London sales team for an energy drink. He has no experience with British culture, knows nothing about sales and has only one employee, Dave.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I first caught wind of this shortly after it aired in 2010 from a clip online of when, in the first episode, Todd is in a coffee shop in England trying to sell his company's energy drink to the owner.  It was hilarious but an awkward kind of funny where Todd keeps fucking up right and left in the worst possible way.  It wasn't until the beginning of 2016 that I started watching it on Netflix where I binged through the series.  There are only six episodes per season at about 23 minutes each so it's not that much of a commitment.  If you don't like David Cross then you won't like this.  I found this hilarious.  I like that awkward humor that defines this show.  This US/UK co-production is almost entirely set in England and they make use of a lot of outdoor locations.  There are so many twists and turns that your head will spin.  I really loved the direction that each season took, playing off the one before it in ways you won't expect.  It's definitely got repeat viewing appeal for more than just re-visiting the laughs.  I about lost my shit when I recognized Graham Duff as a monk.  He was the creative force behind one of my favorite UK shows, IDEAL (2005), and he played one fucking hilarious character in it.    He's in seasons two and three in TODD MARGARET.  This type of humor isn't for most people but for those it is, it's delicious.  I'm hoping for more episodes but I'm not holding my breath.

Cinderella (1977)

Director: Michael Pataki

Writer: Frank Ray Perilli

Composer: Andrew Belling

Starring: Cheryl Smith, Yana Nirvana, Marilyn Corwin, Jennifer Doyle, Sy Richardson, Brett Smiley, Kirk Scott, Boris Moris, Pamela Stonebrook

More info: IMDb

Tagline: An ADULT Fairy Tale With Buttons Undone...

Plot: An adaptation of the fairy tale, Cinderella traces the misadventures of our heroine, who, via the help of her "fairy" (i.e. gay) godmother, is granted heightened sexual prowess to win over Prince Charming. After a blindfolded orgy at the royal castle, the nerdy Prince must sleep with every willing woman in his kingdom until he finds that one, mysterious lover who so "stood out" on the night of the sex Ball.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

In a move that almost shook the movie industry to its absolute core, Charles Band Productions beat the Walt Disney Studio to making an adult version of this classic tale.  Walt himself was disappointed that he didn't get around to making this all the way up to his death in the mid-sixties.  You snooze, you lose.  Besides, Cinderella was always missing that certain something.  Let's see...what was it...ah, yes!  Bibbidi-Bobbidi-BOOBS!

This picture's got them a-plenty, too.  I hate to say it but the movie's just OK.  The songs aren't bad but there was only one that I kind of liked.  The lyrics, like the film, are trying to be funny but only at a most basic level.  The humor is the kind that small children would dig except this clearly isn't for them.  The jokes are obvious and weak and you can see them coming a mile away.  In actual measurement that would be akin to seeing them from 42 boobs away and we're talkin' C to D cups here so that's a good distance.  You might laugh once or twice but that's not why you'd want to see this. 

The women are attractive and naked a lot.  OK, OK, I know what you're thinking, "Yeah, but how's the acting?".  It's what you'd expect but so much of the cast is over acting it's hard to tell how good they are to begin with.  The production values are much better than you'd expect.  There's that.  I LOVE the idea of fairy tales getting the adult treatment (this is softcore so there's no penetration at all) but this film aimed low and they hit what they aimed at. 

And, alas, this is my 4,000th review in 10 years.  Yikes!

Jay Mohr: Funny for a Girl (2012)

Director: Scott L. Montoya

Writer: Jay Mohr

Composer: Alec Puro

Starring: Jay Mohr

More info: IMDb

Plot: "Funny For A Girl," Jay's newest one hour special, and the first in over 7 years, is the hilarious telling of stories of the challenges of raising two kids, keeping his family on the right path, along with his legendary impressions (Christopher Walken, Norm MacDonald, Adam Sandler and a host of others), and his hilarious real life stories in Hollywood.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I've dug this guy's work for as long as I can remember.  His impressions are very, very good plus he's funny as shit.  I hadn't realized that he'd been out of stand up for so long but it's good to see him back (even though I'm seeing this five years after the fact).  I'll watch this again and anything else he puts out.

Bad Ass (2012)

Director: Craig Moss

Writers: Craig Moss, Elliot Tishman

Composer: Todd Haberman

Starring: Danny Trejo, Charles S. Dutton, Patrick Fabian, Joyful Drake, John Duffy, Harrison Page, Richard Riehle, Winter Ave Zoli, Tonita Castro, Ron Perlman

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They messed with the wrong senior citizen.

Plot: A Vietnam veteran who becomes a local hero after saving a man from attackers on a city bus decides to take action when his best friend is murdered and the police show little interest in solving the crime.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I love it!  Trejo was almost 70 when he made this and he's kicking ass all over the place.  It's a little far retched but it's fun and a big part of that is on Trejo.  He's a lot of fun and he does a wonderful job.   The first act was great and that montage at the beginning was very touching and nicely handled.  After that first act, the picture could've gone a couple of ways.  One would be to continue as a crime drama with social commentary on aging/how seniors are treated as well as living in a poor community.  But they chose to go the revenge action route and I'm OK with that.  Besides Frank (Trejo) knocking the piss out of anyone who gets in his way without barely getting a scratch, the spot where it went off the rails into ridiculous territory was the bus chase.  It was over the top big time action movie cliche territory but it was fun just the same.  I even teared up a little at the end.  I wouldn't mind seeing this as a franchise but starting an action franchise in your late sixties isn't something you'd expect from anyone but then we're talking about Danny Fuckin' Trejo!

I'm just going to put this out there...  Somebody PLEASE cast Trejo as an ass kicking Fidel Castro, galavanting across South America righting wrongs and sparking revolutions or snuffing them out.  Please?