BloodRayne 2: Deliverance (2007)

Director: Uwe Boll

Starring: Natassia Malthe, Zack Ward, Michael Pare, Chris Coppola, Chris Spencer, Brendan Fletcher, Sarah-Jane Redmond

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A heart-stopping adventure!

Plot: Rayne, the half-human/half-vampire warrior, ventures to America's 1880's Wild West to stop the vampired Billy the Kid and his posse of vampire cowboys.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? No.

While Kristanna Loken wasn't going to win any awards for playing Rayne in the first picture, BLOODRAYNE (2005), you don't realize how good she was until you see this sequel.  Natassia Malthe just exists in the role.  Michael Pare fares the best as Pat Garrett and Zack Ward's casting as Billy the Kid feels like they wanted to get Billy Drago but he was either busy making his own shitty movie or too expensive.  The camera moves around way too much.  I don't remember seeing a static shot once.  The handheld camera technique got old fast.  I did rather enjoy Jessica de Rooij's score in comparison to everything else.  The Spaghetti Western vibe was a nice touch (and being a synth score it sounds cheap) but she also channelled the theme from DEADWOOD (2004).  I liked it but it seemed like an obvious rip off.  Story-wise it's pretty simple.  In fact it's too simple for the 98 minutes the picture runs.  There's a lot of padding.  This film's got  lots of issues that could have been fixed if more time had been spent on the characters and if Boll had gone with placing the camera firmly on the ground.  I love genre films and Westerns and I eagerly watch any movie that combines them but not this one.  It's an OK attempt that should have easily been better.  Felling like it steals from two MUCH better movies (UNFORGIVEN (1992) and RAVENOUS (1999)), it only makes you want to stop this film and slap in either of those before it's too late.  I doubt the sequel, BLOODRAYNE: THE THIRD REICH (2010) gets any better, but I'll watch it since it's another genre mash-up that I dig.

Bug (2006)

Director: William Friedkin

Starring: Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, Harry Connick Jr., Lynn Collins, Brian F. O'Byrne, Neil Bergeron, Bob Neill

More info: IMDb

Tagline: First they send in their drone... then they find their queen.

Plot: An unhinged war veteran holes up with a lonely woman in a spooky Oklahoma motel room. The line between reality and delusion is blurred as they discover a bug infestation.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

This picture is bugnutsfuckingINSANE!!!  I knew nothing about it going in except that it was a horror film which it turns out to be more psychological drama than anything else.  The performances are very strong, particularly Shannon who is off the fucking chain (reprising the role he did Off Broadway).  If you remotely dig this guy (can't wait to see him as General Zod in the upcoming Superman movie) you need to see this flick.  He's intense, the kind of hardcore intense that would scare the shit out of you if you were acting across from him.  It's an interesting story that starts out quiet and innocently enough until things slowly start to disintegrate to the point of pure insanity by the close of the film.  WOW!  Just WOW!  I'm now motivated to watch every film in Friedkin's catalog.

BloodRayne (2005)

Director: Uwe Boll

Starring: Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Matthew Davis, Will Sanderson, Geraldine Chaplin, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, Michael Pare, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsley

More info: IMDb

Tagline: She's one Hell of a heroine...literally!

Plot: In the Eighteenth Century, Rayne is the half-human half-vampire Dhampir and the lead attraction in a carnival's freak-show in Romania. When she escapes, she meets a fortuneteller that tells that her mother was raped by the king of the vampires Kagan and she decides to destroy her father. In her journey for revenge, she meets Vladimir and Sebastian, the leaders of the fortress of vampire hunters Brimstone, and she joins their society. She searches for powerful talismans to defeat Kagan, while the skilled warriors Vladimir and Sebastian train her to face the forces of Kagan and her human side falls in love with Sebastian.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

I don't see what all the fuss is about regarding Uwe Boll.  He's not THAT bad of a film maker.  This picture looks professional (mostly) and it's got an interesting cast despite some of them feeling WAY out of place (Madsen).  There's action, blood & gore, nudity and a reasonable story.  The acting's not that swift but it's a reasonable time killer if you like the freak show of seeing certain actors looking like fish out of water.  Zane was having a blast,  Kingsley was taking it too seriously,  Kier was fun and Loken did an admirable job.  This picture isn't as bad as the internet tells you and it doesn't deserve the 2.8 IMDb or the 4% Rotten Tomatoes score.  It's a cheesy vampire movie with just enough to keep you somewhat entertained for ninety minutes.  How's that for an endorsement?

Stone (1974)

Director: Sandy Harbutt

Starring: Ken Shorter, Sandy Harbutt, Deryck Barnes, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Roger Ward, Vincent Gil, Dewey Hungerford

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Get with Stone.

Plot: Members of the Grave Diggers Motorcycle Club are being knocked off one by one, and someone needs to find out why!

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

#39 on my on-going quest to watch every film from the amazing documentary, NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD: THE WILD, UNTOLD STORY OF OZPLOITATION! (2008)

The biker movie genre that lasted only a few short years beginning in the late 60s is a genre filled with mediocre films with very few exceptions that rise above.  STONE is certainly one of the better ones but not by an awful lot.  What sets it apart, though, is it's Australian and the plot.  It transcends the usual hell-raising and political statements and goes into crime drama territory.  STONE also has one of the all-time great motorcycle stunts with the guy riding his bike off a HUGE cliff and landing in the ocean below.  It's a great stunt and it's worth watching the picture just for it.  Fortunately we get some fun performances and fisticuffs to help us along the way.  I don't get its huge cult status but then I'm no biker which might have something to do with it.  There are lots of good extras with the two-disc DVD that will keep you busy long after the movie has ended.

Now You See Me (2013)

Director: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Mark Ruffalo, Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Melanie Laurent, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Come in close, because the more you think you see, the easier it'll be to fool you.

Plot: An FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? No.

NOW YOU SEE ME is almost too clever for its own good.  There's an awful lot of flash and the magic is fun but it's got more distraction/misdirection than it really needs.  It's also quickly paced and while you do feel that it's almost two hours long, it does move quickly.  I'm a fan of many in the cast so it's fun to see some familiar faces.  Ruffalo is always fun and the rest of the cast does a fine job but the MVP for me is Morgan Freeman.  He's in full-on smile and playful mode and that's the Morgan Freeman I like most.  The end did catch me by surprise.  It was plausible and it didn't feel like a WTF so I was down with it.  I'm a huge magic fan so I welcome movies that incorporate it and in a realistic way although some of the tricks in this film rely way too much on a gazillion things falling into place without a hitch.  Still, it's entertaining and the cast makes it worth your time even if the story needs a little more refinement.

Crime Scene Clean-Up (200?)

Director: ???

Starring: ???

More info: Discovery.com

Plot: This is an interesting documentary about the small industry which has in recent years arose to deal with the aftermath of messy crime scenes.  When someone is murdered, or commits suicide, or simply dies and rots all over the floor, the cops sure as shit don't clean it up.  Most municipalities don't take any responsibility for this at all, actually.  They usually just tell the next of kin to do the job themselves.  That's where the human vultures come in.  They saw an opportunity in the market and jumped on it.  This documentary follows one such company in New York City, led by an ex-paramedic who specialize in particularly nasty and contaminated scenes.  We follow him from various scenes as he and his crew clean them up.  It's an interesting look at a world many of us don't realize exists.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

What a fascinating documentary.  It's amazing that of all of the governmental departments in crime there isn't one to deal with clean up.  This 45 minute TV doc tells all kinds of grisly stories about how violent crime scenes (with lots of blood and bits) are sometimes left for many months before an outside company is hired (usually by a relative of the deceased) to clean everything up and dispose of the remains.  The film is very informative and interesting and it's not spoken slowly like some are.  I hope I never have to call these guys for anything.  Geez.

Hit! (1973)

Director: Sidney J. Furie

Starring: Billy Dee Williams, Richard Pryor, Paul Hampton, Gwen Welles, Warren J. Kemmerling, Janet Brandt, Sid Melton, Zooey Hall, Todd Martin

More info: IMDb

Tagline: To pull off a job no one would ever dare, you need a team no one would ever believe.

Plot: Williams stars as a government operative whose teenage daughter is dating a small time heroin dealer. Her boyfriend gets her to try smack and she dies right away from the drug. Williams goes after the pusher, but prior to punishing him the pusher tells him that he's low man on the totem pole and that his demise won't cripple the city's drug supply at all. Williams figures the pusher was right, so he assembles an unusual squad of people whose lives had been affected negatively by heroin, trains them to kill and sets out to wipe out the large scale heroin cartels.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

At two hours and fifteen minutes long, it's a little slow.  The pacing is casual as it takes an hour for the setup and to assemble the team.  After that it's one long execution of the job and I liked it that way.   HIT! has action but it's little bits and pieces that are spread out so it's more of a crime/drama/thriller first and action picture last but that's not to say it isn't exciting.  Billy Dee Williams is great as the man who puts the plan into action.  It's nice seeing Richard Pryor in a serious role although he does go beyond where you'd think his character would have.  It's also really nice seeing seemingly regular people assassinate their targets.  There's one elderly couple that does the deed with extreme professionalism. Loved it.  HIT!  feels like it's taking some inspiration from THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971), largely because the drug trail leads to France and they're making their way up the chain of people responsible for drugs in America but there are enough differences to make this one stand on its own and proudly.  It's a great companion piece to FC and it kind of makes me want to watch FC again and its sequel.