Jurassic Park (1993)

Director: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, Joseph Mazzello, Ariana Richards, Samuel L. Jackson, BD Wong, Wayne Knight

More info: IMDb

Tagline: An adventure 65 million years in the making.

Plot: On a remote island, a wealthy entrepreneur secretly creates a theme park featuring living dinosaurs drawn from prehistoric DNA. Before opening the attraction to the public, he invites a top paleontologist, a paleobotanist, a mathematician/theorist, and his two eager grandchildren to experience the park -- and help calm anxious investors. However, their park visit is anything but tranquil as the park's security system breaks down, the prehistoric creatures break out, and the excitement builds to surprising results.

My rating:9/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

I love this movie.  It's an awful lot of fun and even after twenty years, there's barely anything I can find the least bit wrong with it (that fat kid in the beginning where Sam Neill explains his bird theory creeps me out).  Spielberg excels at thrilling, edge of your seat action sequences.  That T-Rex sequence is insanely good as is the Velociraptors in the kitchen scene. The casting is superb all the way down to the two kids.  There's humor, suspense, thrills, action and some excellent CGI.  I caught this during it's opening weekend twenty years ago and I've seen it a few times since.  Last week I hit the local Imax screen and saw it again but this time in 3D.  It's THE best post-3D conversion I've seen.  The effects are fantastic. I was pleasantly surprised to see that JP holds it's own against the competition even after all these years.  It looks like it was shot yesterday.  If you haven't seen it in its current 3D release I urge you to go before it's gone.  You'll be glad you did.  Hold on to your butts.

Evil Dead (2013)

Director: Fede Alvarez

Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, Elizabeth Blackmore

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The most terrifying film you will ever experience.

Plot: Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. The evil presence possesses them until only one is left to fight for survival.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Eventually probably.

That tagline is a pretty fucking bold claim.  Too bad the finished product doesn't come close.  OK, maybe if you're 87 years old and the most terrifying film you've seen in your life was TWILIGHT (2008),  It's got some GREAT gore effects and there are some good creepy moments but as a whole I was left feeling like there was a whole bunch of teasing and then the last 20 minutes gave you what you were paying a ticket for.

I knew this wasn't going to be as good as the original 1982 picture.  That's a classic and it's got more terrifying bits in it than this new one does.  The tree rape scene is brutal.  The new film sets it up like there's a tree rape scene but they cheat you at the last moment.  It's remarkable that they couldn't do what the 30 year old film could.  Pussies.  The acting is good, though, and I like that the main character is trying to kick her drug habit.  That was a great move.  But the film moved along, giving you little bits here and there, feeling like there was something missing and then BAM!  The ending hits the fan.  This is the best part of the picture.  It's brutal and gory as hell and it's here that you really get a Sam Raimi, EVIL DEAD (1982) vibe.  But it's too much, too late to make this picture a modern day classic.

It's definitely worth catching at the theater (even though you just know there's going to be an unrated version on DVD), and when you go MAKE SURE YOU STAY UNTIL THE VERY END!  Fans of the franchise will be tickled to death.  I guess I lied earlier.  THIS is actually the best part of the film.  I was carrying on like a little kid at Christmas.  Very good score by Roque Banos, by the way.  And while this doesn't come close to straddling the line of playfulness and terror like the original, rarely catching up to the greatness of it all, it's a very good modern horror film that stands out among most of the crap-to-just-OK horror pictures coming out of Hollywood these days.  It's pretty darn good so you should see it regardless of how you feel about the original or if you haven't even seen it.  If not, watch them both and you're in for a treat.

Sorcerer (1977)

Director: William Friedkin

Starring: Roy Scheider, Bruno Cremer, Francisco Rabal, Amidou, Ramon Bieri, Peter Capell, Karl John, Friedrich von Ledebur, Chico Martinez, Joe Spinell

More info: IMDb


Plot: A group of outcasts from different backgrounds/nationalities are forced by misfortune to work in a remote oil drilling operation in South America. When fire breaks out of control, four of the outcasts are given the opportunity to earn enough money to get out by transporting six crates of unstable dynamite through miles of jungle in two ancient trucks. Will they succeed and regain their honor and citizenship, or get blown up for their efforts?

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again? ABSOFREAKINLUTELY!

Many years ago I watched THE WAGES OF FEAR (1953) and friggin' loved it.  A few years after I checked out SORCERER, the American remake of WAGES, thinking it was going to be a lesser film.  What Friedkin did was astonishing.  He made it his own.  When it was all said and done I was cool with his choices in changing things up.  The original focused on boredom and the principles' desire to leave.  Friedkin makes the men desperate to stay hidden from the outside world, hidden in a dirty, dank and filthy South American jungle town.  In each film, it works beautifully.  I really like seeing the different means to the same end.  Friedkin does put a little twist on the GREAT ending the original had which I think is even better.  I love the Roy Scheider of the 70s.  He had a great look and he was perfect for this role, although he wasn't Friedkin's first choice.  The Tangerine Dream score works well, too.  And that bridge crossing scene?  WOW!  Just a few days ago it was announced that the legal battles on getting this thing properly released are over and they are restoring the film for a limited theatrical release and then Blu-ray (by the end of the year I think).  CAN...NOT...WAIT!!!

War (2007)

Director: Philip G. Atwell

Starring: Jet Li, Jason Statham, John Lone, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzman, Laul Rubinek, Ryo Ishibashi, Sung Kang, Mathew St. Patrick, Nadine Velazquez

More info: IMDb

Tagline: One wants justice, the other wants revenge.

Plot: After his partner Tom Lone and family are killed apparently by the infamous and elusive assassin Rogue, FBI agent Jack Crawford becomes obsessed with revenge as his world unravels into a vortex of guilt and betrayal. Rogue eventually resurfaces to settle a score of his own, setting off a bloody crime war between Asian mob rivals Chang of the Triad's and Yakuza boss Shiro. When Jack and Rogue finally come face to face, the ultimate truth of their pasts will be revealed.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? No.


Wow.  I think this might be the first Jason Statham movie I've seen that I definitely won't watch again.  Statham is being Statham and that's fine with me.  Li, though, is rather dull and the cat-and-mouse game between the two didn't grab my attention.  I was bored.  It didn't help that the movie gets close enough to two hours to make it painful to finish.  Woof.

Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse (2004)

Director: Alexander Witt

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Oded Fehr, Thomas Kretschmann, Sophie Vavasseur, Razaaq Adoti, Jared Harris, Mike Epps, Sandrine Holt

More info: IMDb

Tagline: You're all going to die

Plot: Alice awakes in Raccoon City, only to find it has become infested with zombies and monsters. With the help of Jill Valentine and Carlos Olivera, Alice must find a way out of the city before it is destroyed by a nuclear missile.

My rating:  5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No. In fact, I might be done with the franchise.

OK, I was reasonably satisfied with the first film but this one has got me wondering if I need to bother continuing with the series.  It's over the top but it's that stylish over the top with the industrial score and darkly lit settings that either works for you or it doesn't and fore me...it doesn't.  It's mostly one long chase with one fight after another with a few spots for a breather. The Jovovitch badass character is starting to run thin.  I guess I just want her to be less one dimensional.  Sienna Guillory didn't work for me.  Miscast?  I think so. I did feel pretty great about the scene where she's trying to be all badassy in slow motion and throws the matches to ignite the gas behind her and the matches blew out by the time they made their target at which point Alice tosses the cigarette to finish the job. The best part of the movie?

Not that, but since I'm already here...Milla? Please eat.  No, the best part of the movie was the final scene where you find out something that sets up the sequel and you're thinking, "Oh fucking hell yeah!", but after seeing this one I'm not so sure I want to continue.  I've got countless shitty movies to watch as it is.

The Untouchables (1987)

Director: Brian De Palma

Starring: Kevin Costner, Sean Connery, Charles Martin Smith, Andy Garcia, Robert De Niro, Richard Bradford, Jack Kehoe, Brad Sullivan, Billy Drago, Patricia Clarkson

More info: IMDb

Tagline: AL CAPONE. He ruled Chicago with absolute power. No one could touch him. No one could stop him. - Until Eliot Ness and a small force of men swore they'd bring him down.

Plot: Federal Agent Eliot Ness assembles a team of uncorruptable cops to take down Chicago's number one crime boss, Al Capone.

My rating: 10/10

Will I watch it again? YES!!!

I'm a sucker for 20s/30s era gangster pictures.  I caught this one in the theater on it's initial release and about had an orgasm.  It's one of those rare 'punch the air' films for me.  I get all riled up and filled with "FUCK YEAH!"s.  I know the film makers dicked around with the story and there's a lot of things that didn't happen the way they portrayed it, a huge one being the exit of Frank Nitti.  But all of that doesn't matter because it's one hell of an entertaining movie.  I love it.  The look, cinematography, EXCELLENT score by Ennio Morricone, performances (LOVE that Connery), it all works beautifully.  The scene with the little girl and the briefcase STILL gets me and I've seen this picture a couple dozen times.  This is one of my go-to feel good pictures that never gets old and always puts a huge smile on my face.  Oh, and that baseball bat scene...ooh!

A Is for Acid (2002)

Director: Harry Bradbeer

Starring: Martin Clunes, Keeley Hawes, Richard Hope, Celia Imrie, Rowena Cooper, John Flanagan, Terence Beesley, Matyelok Gibbs, Barbara Marten

More info: IMDb


Plot: The film traces the life and deeds of a true life serial killer, John George Haig AKA the Acid Bath Murderer. Whilst in jail for fraud in the thirties he accidentally discovers the effect that acid has on animal bodies. He subsequently "offs" a series of people including a couple a family and three strangers by inviting them to his "workshop". He dissolves the bodies in oil drums full of acid. The film cuts to flashbacks of his upbringing by zealously religious parents, but steers clear of obviously blaming the parents for the son's murderous behaviour.



My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

Sing along with me...J is for jacks, acidicly sweet, acid jacks.  Sorry.  Couldn't resist.  Here's a serial killer flick I bet you haven't heard of.  It's casual pacing may turn off some but if you're like me you'll be mesmerized by Martin Clunes' understated and boyish performance.  As always, I wonder where the film strays from the facts but as it's laid out here, Haigh was charming, quiet and calculated; all in the innocence of England in the 1940s (OK, I'm sure it wasn't all that innocent but it was a different time).  I really enjoyed it.  Clunes is fantastic and I was really captivated by his performance.  I almost wanted him to get away with it.  This isn't like any serial killer flick I've ever seen and the damn thing had to be recorded off the Lifetime Network of all places as it's not available on DVD.