Sunday, June 10, 2012

MoH 104: Jenifer (2005)


Director: Dario Argento

Starring: Steven Weber, Laurie Brunetti, Carrie Fleming, Kevin Crofton, Beau Starr, Julia Arkos

More info: IMDb

Plot: Police officer Frank Spivey saves a disfigured young woman named Jenifer from being slaughtered by a crazy old man. He takes her into his home because she has nowhere else to go, but starts to become obsessed with her. Soon, it becomes clear that there are problems with Jenifer that turn Frank's life upside-down. He realizes that there is only one thing that will keep Jenifer from hurting anyone else and let him return to a normal life.



My rating:6/10

Will I watch it again? Noop.

Steven Weber (who wrote the teleplay) does a great job. I really dig this guy. He's the best thing about it next to the gorgeous Carrie Fleming.


I guess Sarah Jessica Parker wasn't available that week. I don't understand why she only plays deformed chicks in movies. Maybe it's that lovely rack of hers.


Anyway, those are the two best things about this (Weber and the makeup effects, that is). A few minutes after Frank (Weber) rescues Jenifer it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how the rest of this is going to play out. It's rather obvious but that shouldn't get you down. The blatant PSYCHO (1960) rip-off music score by Claudio Simonetti performed on a synthesizer should. It's embarrassing. I hate to say that it took me out of the picture every once in a while but it did. The rest of the movie is by the numbers but it didn't keep me from appreciating the effort by Weber and the makeup department.

Moh 103: Dance of the Dead (2005)


Director: Tobe Hooper

Starring: Jessica Lowndes, Jonathan Tucker, Robert Englund, Margot Berner, Marilyn Norry, Sharon Heath

More info: IMDb

Plot: In a post-apocalypse society, 17-year-old Peggy lives with her over-protective mother and works in her restaurant. She misses her sister Anna, who died some time ago. When two couples of punks come to the place to eat some hamburgers, Peggy feels attracted to Jak, who invites her to go out on date with him later. Peggy goes out with Jak without telling her mother, and they go across town to a dark place, the Doom Room, where the master of ceremony is the ringmaster of a freak show with dead. The MC injects blood in the dead, and they dance on a ring for the exalted audience. When Peggy sees her undead sister Anna dancing in the show, the MC discloses the truth about her presence in the circus.



My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

This one's pretty dull but I really liked what happened in the club regarding the dance of the dead. It wasn't the gratuitous nudity but the idea behind what constituted for entertainment and how that affected Peggy. And then there's what happens after she finds out. THAT was really cool but all the BS with Peggy and Jak bored the piss out of me. Ugh. I guess not every episode can be a winner but then this one's got Robert Englund.

MoH 102: Dreams in the Witch House (2005)


Director: Stuart Gordon

Starring: Ezra Godden, Campbell Lane, Jay Brazeau, Chelah Horsdal

More info: IMDb

Plot: A graduate student, Walter, questions his sanity after he rents a room in an old boarding house which was the residence of a 17th Century witch, and he figures out that the evil forces still roam within the walls.



My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Nah. Once was fine.

Ooh, this was a goody. Godden (as Walter) does a great Bruce Campbell - almost too good but that was part of the fun. It was fun from start to holy shit end. I was surprised that it got as grisly as it did, pleasantly surprised. The rat with the human head was too silly (I'm sure it fares better in the Lovecraft short story) but the gore was good and that ending...nice! Fun piece. Masters of Horror is shaping up to be a good piece of entertainment.

MoH 101: Incident on and Off a Mountain Road (2005)




Director: Don Coscarelli

Starring: Bree Turner, Angus Scrimm, John DeSantis, Ethan Embry, Heather Feeney

More info: IMDb

Plot: While driving in the night in a lonely road through the mountains, Ellen distracts with her radio and hits a car parked on the road. She faints and she looks for help since her car does not start again. She meets in the woods Moonface, a deranged monster-like man that collects human bodies pulling a woman. She is abducted by Moonface, but she recalls the survival lessons of her husband Bruce facing and fighting back the killer.



My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

I recently started watching this series from the beginning. I had only seen a couple of eps prior and I kind of dug it. It was a short-lived, two season series on Showtime with a total of 26 episodes. Each episode was a near-one hour horror mini-movie directed by a master director of horror films. I've heard nothing but mixed bag thoughts from anyone who I've talked to that's seen it. I'm keen to get through all 26 this year so I can move on with my life.


This first episode is directed by a guy whose films I really dig (PHANTASM (1979), BUBBA HO-TOP (2002)) so my expectations were a little high. It's a pretty good flick. I have no idea why Ellen fell for Bruce in the first place as he's clearly an unstable guy but whatever. That's not really all that important as people fall for the wrong guy/gal all the time without any rationale to the outside world. OK, I liked how we get bits and pieces (in flashback) of what happens between the two of them as she's currently dealing with a Texas Chainsaw-esqe killer in the night time woods. And I liked how she was able to survive. It made sense but it bugged the piss out of me how she started over-doing the tough girl routine with the one liners and shit. The ending was pretty good. It's weird but it's just under an hour but it felt like it went on much longer than that. Not a bad way to kick off a series such as this. It's promising. I wonder how the rest will fare.

John Pinette: I'm Starvin'! (2007)


Director: Larysa Fenyn

Starring: John Pinette

More info: IMDb

Plot: After starring in the Broadway smash Hairspray, John Pinette returns in the hottest show at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Named "Stand-Up Comedian of the Year" by the American Comedy Awards, Pinette gained wide attention for his role in the Seinfeld finale and is a favorite The Tonight Show guest. He's here with an all-new material on everything from health food ("Salad's not food. Salad comes with food.") to family parties ("If you see a skinny person at the Pinette Family reunion, you say, 'And you are married to who?'").



My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

#15 on Stand-up Comedy Month, May/June 2012

Pinette starts off with some so-so funny bits about his experience with the musical, Hairspray, and then does an hour of fat/food jokes. I laughed every once in a while and I found his style of stand-up kind of fun (he's manic and exaggerates) but what surprised me most was how he could come up with so much material on being fat and eating. That was impressive. I won't be watching this one again but I won't turn down a chance to see any of his other work.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Prometheus (2012)



Director: Ridley Scott

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The search for our beginning could lead to our end

Plot: A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.


My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yes

THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

I had high hopes for this one. Scott returning to sci-fi after the one-two punch of ALIEN (1979) and BLADE RUNNER (1982)? I'm there!!! I saw it in 3D on an IMAX screen and it looked AMAZING!!! Holy crap is this a gorgeous film to watch. It's sci-fi, geeky eye candy. The 3D is fantastic. I will see it again in a few days and when I do it'll be on the same screen.


This isn't the home run that ALIEN was. It's a great attempt but it falls short. There are plot holes that will have you asking questions all over the place and the last couple of minutes is blatant pandering but there are a lot of things going for it. The overall theme of the piece is neat. I really dig mankind's origin and all that goes on with who and how and what they planned to do with their creation. The special effects are magnificent. The "extraction" scene was insanely fun and intense. LOVED it. Marc Streitenfeld's score didn't work for me. I wanted something more mysterious akin to how Jerry Goldsmith scored ALIEN (I'm not saying that score was what was needed but he managed to heighten the fear and unknown of that universe).

I just LOVE the spacesuits and how they're obviously inspired by European space movies of the 1960s.

I enjoyed it but I walked out feeling like there was too much of some things and not enough of others. The characters were fine as were the actors but there wasn't anything really great or real about them. They felt like they were acting if that makes any sense. Remember how in ALIEN the characters felt real and their dialogue, actions and reactions were genuine? There's a part of me that doesn't want to compare PROMETHEUS to ALIEN but it's so difficult to avoid since it's the same director and this is, despite what Scott and others have been claiming all along, a prequel to his 1979 masterpiece. It's flawed but it's also quality science fiction that, like the best of them, gives you lots to think about. I'll feel better or worse about it after I see it again in a few days (after which I'll probably update this with a spoiler section). There's a lot to love about this picture but then there's more than enough "WTF, Ridley, I thought you guys were professionals!" moments that it may be enough to make you feel disappointed. It's not like they haven't hyped the shit out of by this point. Brilliant marketing.

SPOILERS: RESURRECTION

UPDATE 6/10/12: Just got back from seeing it again and this time I wasn't exhausted and sleepy going into it (I first watched it (above) at the Thursday midnight showing immediately following a long gig) and I liked it a little better. I still have problems with it.

The ending with the voice over log, ala Ripley's log entry in the '79 picture, is a sorry attempt to recall that film as is the fight with the 'Engineer' who is then attacked by the alien (a HUGE face hugger) who minutes later has a xenomorph (similar to the one we all love) burst out of his chest and hiss a lot. It's a lame bone being thrown to the fans of the series and it's a cheap ad-on. The film should've ended before that.

Another big bad taste in my mouth is how many of the crew were scientists yet some of them don't come close to behaving like one. Millburn is a biologist and his first instinct upon seeing an alien species is to touch it like a cute wild baby whatever. Really? Of course this leads to his death. I don't mind the latter part but they could have easily come up with a situation where he met the same end without betraying his scientific background. Then there's the biggest offense in Fifield. He looks like a former punk rocker with a brain imbalance that makes him psychotic and unstable (and stupid) yet he's a geologist. Well, at first he says he's security and he's there to protect everyone. It's only once they're snooping around the alien digs that he drops the bomb he's a geologist and he's not going to hang around to get killed. I'm not going to knock the way someone looks and correspond that to how well the can do their job but his personality and instability give me major concern as to how the hell this guy would have been chosen for the mission in the first place. And his reappearance at the ship is just an excuse to have an action fight. It did not serve the plot at all.

Those are the big issues. I can forgive little stupid things like Dr. Shaw & co. being tossed around outside the ship in a 200 MPH wind storm with millions of shards of silicon beating on them without so much as tearing the suits or scratching the clear helmets (yet later they easily shatter during the Fifield fight) because the overall story is pretty damn neat and interesting.

I was wrong about the acting and the score. Seeing it again, I have a better appreciation for the leads and the characters with a stronger liking for just about all of them (Fassbender and Elba being my favorites). I like Vickers's motivation as the neglected child of Weyland. I paid closer attention to the music and I found I really dug it except for the "Awe Theme" (That's what I'm calling it as I don't know it's real title) which is the one that plays (for a total of five times which over-stayed it's welcome after the second time) whenever something on screen has the characters in awe of what's happening (it's the theme that opens the picture). It feels an awful lot like the John Williams "Leaving Home" theme in SUPERMAN (1978). It's not a bad theme but it feels way to close for me to ignore.

Oh, and it hit me this time where I could point to for the inspiration for the spacesuits - PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (1965), which is funny because that movie had more than enough inspiration for ALIEN (1979).


I still like the picture (in some ways even more so) and I'm sure I'll pick up the Blu-ray someday on the cheap but I feel pretty confident that I won't be able to shake the bits I dislike. Ridley Scott and pals could have had their cake and have eaten it, too, with a few logical, grounded in reality changes that would have still produced a great sci-fi/action/horror picture. He's smarter than that...or at least I thought so.

UPDATE: 8-17-13 - It just occurred to me after watching MISSILE TO THE MOON (1958) that PROMETHEUS is nothing more than a dumb 1050s low budget sci-fi flick with a modern bloated Hollywood budget.  If Ridley Scott had told everyone that when it was released then it would have prevented some of the severe backlash the picture received.


Friday, June 1, 2012

Lewis Black: Unleashed


Starring: Lewis Black

More info: IMDb

Plot: Comedy Central's jittery, apoplectic commentator on all things absurd in politics and culture is superb on this disc's collection of four half-hour cable specials and bonus features. Fans and newcomers get a chance to see how much the comic has grown since his delightful 1998 show, in which Black characteristically sputtered this bit of social-scientific criticism: "It's absolutely stupid that we've lost the ozone layer. We've got men, rockets, Saran Wrap--fix it!" Black attacks Bill Clinton for obscuring the meaning of infidelity ("If curling is an Olympic sport, oral sex is adultery!"), Y2K hype, flu shots, America's power elite, Ross Perot ("He's the kid in Deliverance all growed-up!"), and even delivers a "Taxes 101" college lecture ("What would help IRS forms? Verbs!"). Bonus features include Black's "Indecision 2000" inserts--caustic commentary about the last Republican and Democrat conventions--for Jon Stewart's show.



My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Sadly, no.

#14 on Stand-up Comedy Month, May 2012

I REALLY like Lewis Black. His unique delivery sells the humor. I much prefer his 'pissed off' persona to that of Denis Leary. Because these specials aired on Comedy Central, they've got the commercial break bumpers intact and it's annoying. I've heard a lot of Black's routines before and I much prefer them in the one hour, uncensored vein. I was shocked that I didn't laugh all that much at these. Maybe it's because of the constant forced breaks. The highlight were the 40+ minutes of bits he did for the Republican and Democratic conventions. Those were great. Everything else was just average Lewis Black.