The Stuntmen (1973)

Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith

Starring: Bob Woodham, Herb Nelson, Warren Campbell, Grant Page

More info: IMDb

Plot: An Aussie documentary on their greatest stuntmen of the day, showing various types of stunts first as they would look in a movie, then breaking them down and showing how they're achieved.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe.

I've been a fan of stunts since I was a kid and I really appreciate the quality and the risks involved. This documentary, shot by Trenchard-Smith (director of such amazing Ozploitation greats as TURKEY SHOOT (1982)), is split into different categories of films you would find stunts like a war picture, western, etc showing us stunts from explosions, motorcycle stunts, man on fire, falling off a horse and so on. The stuntmen are very likable and funny. It's always nice watching things like this that give personalities to people you know are there but you rarely get to meet. A lot of these folks turned up in the fantastic documentary, NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD: THE WILD, UNTOLD STORY OF OZPLOITATION! (2008).

Black Shampoo (1976)

Director: Greydon Clark

Starring: John Daniels, Tanya Boyd, Joseph Carlo, Skip E Lowe, Gary Allen, William Bonner

More info: IMDb

Tagline: HE'S BAD...HE'S MEAN...HE'S A LOVIN' MACHINE! WHEN HE'S MAD...HE'S MEAN...HE'S A KILLING MACHINE!

Plot: Jonathan Knight is the owner of "Mr. Jonathans", the most successful hair salon for women on the Sunset Strip. Jonathan is tall, muscular, black and ballsy. His reputation as a lover has become so awesome that he is sought after almost as much in that capacity as in his expertise as a hair stylist. Everything is cool for Jonathan until he messes with the mob in an effort to protect his young, attractive receptionist from her former boss. Action explodes when the "lovin' machine" becomes the "killing machine". Jonathan, equipped with chain saw in hand, gets down on the vicious mob gang.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? I think I could.

#26 on Blaxploiteasin' (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

DRINKING GAME: Take a drink every time someone says, "Mr. Jonathan". You'll be wasted just from the number of times the gay says it alone!

Put this one in the so-bad-it's-good category. The acting can be downright painful at times and there's not a good actor in the bunch. The story and dialogue are fine, the direction is OK and the music's alright. It's just astonishing how hard it is to find anyone who has any charisma. You'd think Daniels would have had some as the lead but he doesn't and he almost doesn't look the part. The opening credits with Mr. Jonathan shampooing some broad's hair and her getting off on it is surprising erotic! Yeah, I know, right? I started thinking this might be pretty decent. Well, it's only fun if you're watching it with friends. It's a good group movie in that you'll be laughing your asses off at line deliveries and chicks getting naked every couple of minutes. There's A LOT of nudity and it's done in a fun, playful way and the big chase & fight at the end was fun and it'll make you glad you stayed 'till the end. I was.

The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972)

Director: Andy Milligan

Starring: Hope Stansbury, Jackie Skarvellis, Noel Collins, Joan Ogden, Douglas Phair

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A gruesome tale of man-eating rats and blood-sucking werewolves!

Plot: Concerns a family, the Mooneys, struggling with genetic lycanthropy. One daughter, Diana, is sent to a Scottish medical school in order to help save the family, and returns with a new husband, Gerald. The family disapproves, especially Diana's wicked sister Monica, and spends most of the movie trying to convince Gerald to leave. The family patriarch, Papa, warms to Gerald once he learns that Diana is pregnant, because a normal baby could save the bloodline. Subplots involve Monica's hatred for her animalistic brother Malcolm, who is kept chained in a room, and eldest sister Phoebe's dark secret concerning her relationship with Papa. The inevitable full moon causes the entire family to turn into werewolves, attacking Diana, Gerald, and each other.

My rating: 3.5/10

Will I watch it again? No!

#48 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

Yaaaaaawn. There is a TON of dialogue. You'd think Milligan was getting paid by the word and some of the British accents were so bad I'd swear half the cast were Americans. With so much dialogue, the story has to be sold by the actors. It's not like they're delivering the lines too slowly, either. No, on the contrary - often times they're firing off their lines like they're in a hurry. The acting hurts this picture plus there's just far too much time to fall asleep before the action kicks in for the last five or so minutes. Whoever played the guy that sold the chick the man-eating rats was quite good and stood out among the rest of the cast. The old man had a couple of moments where his line delivery actually worked. I'm really stretching to find anything good to say about this. The music, while nice at times, didn't fit and it was clear that Milligan permeated the movie with stock library tracks. There's a reason this isn't on DVD but it should be...there are people out there who need reliable sleep aides.

Battle of the Worlds (1961)

Director: Antonio Margheriti

Starring: Claude Rains, Bill Carter, Umberto Orsini, Maya Brent, Jacqueline Derval

More info: IMDb

Tagline:

Plot: A runaway asteroid dubbed "The Outsider" mysteriously begins orbiting the Earth and threatens it with lethal flying saucers.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

#4 on SCI-FI TRAILERS VOLUME 9 & 10 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

The ONLY reason to see this is for the fantastic performance of Claude Rains as the crotchety old professor with an acerbic wit. He's funny as hell as he cuts down just about everyone. And it's not like he's only in it for a couple of scenes, no, he's the star of the show and he owns every moment he's on screen.

"A match! Somebody please give me a match!"

Click, click, click, click, click

When he's not on screen it's pretty dry, dull stuff except when Bill Carter (as Cmdr. Bob Cole) speaks. I swear he sounds just like Snagglepuss from the Hanna Barbera cartoons. OMFG is it hilarious! Other than that, it's snoozeville with an OK story and effects but I can forgive the latter as it's a 1961 low budget Italian picture.

The Swiss Conspiracy (1976)

Director: Jack Arnold

Starring: David Janssen, Senta Berger, John Ireland, John Saxon, Ray Milland, Anton Diffring, David Hess

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Dirty Money, Dirty Secrets...

Plot: When a Swiss bank finds that the confidentiality of some of its more vulnerable customers has been compromised it calls in an American investigator, who soon uncovers a web of deceit and blackmail. With old debts being paid off his own health is soon in danger, but at least he starts to gets to know one of the bank's female customers pretty well.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? Noop.

#46 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

It's right down the middle; it's neither that good nor that bad. It's an average crime thriller. It was nice, though, seeing Hess in a role where he's not 'crazy' for a change. Klaus Doldinger's score was uninteresting, the plot was nothing to write home about, the performances were OK and, being filmed in Switzerland, the scenery was beautiful. There's absolutely no reason to or not to recommend this to anyone outside of fans of any of the particular stars. In a word...meh.

Zebra Force (1976)

Director: Joe Tornatore

Starring: James Mitchum, Mike Lane, Richard S. Slattery, Timothy Brown, Rockne Tarkington

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Running with the mob can be deadly!

Plot: A band of ex-soldiers who served in Vietnam follow their former squad leader into ripping off the mob in a string of hits that will net them enough money to be set for life.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

#43 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

The story is the best part by far. The squad of white guys don masks and makeup to look like blacks in their heists from the mob. The local mob boss suspects it's the rival black gang which pulls them closer to starting a race gang war. The mob boss calls in a pro to find out who's stealing from him which leads to the killing of a detective on the take. While there might not seem to be anything that different about it so far, it's the ending that REALLY made me sit up and take notice.

THE SPOILERSFATHER PART II

The guy leading the squad actually died in a hospital in Nam but he outlined his plan to one of his men (a black guy who's been disguising himself as the white squad leader all along!) for him to execute after he dies!!! And, after a huge shootout at the end of the picture, our man in disquise is the last one standing and he's got two suitcases full of dough as he's ready to board his plane. Great ending!

END OF SPOILERS...YARRRRRRR!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! The reveal at the end was completely unexpected and this suddenly went from a 4 to a 5.5. I would like to rate it higher but there was so much bad from the acting and dialogue to the boring editing that I can't do it. I will say this, though, Charles Bernstein's got a really good main theme. The music doesn't always work but that theme sure was cool and funky and in pictures like this, every little thing counts!

Savage Sisters (1974)

Director: Eddie Romero

Starring: Gloria Hendry, Cheri Caffaro, Rosanna Ortiz, John Ashley, Sid Haig

More info: IMDb

Tagline: BEWARE! They are still at large...the Playgirls of the Liberation Army. Activists in both politics and love.

Plot: A corrupt General plans on smuggling one million US dollars out of the Banana Republic he dominates. Local revolutionaries plan on stealing the cash but are thwarted when a bandit leader they are working with double crosses them. A tough cop and her boyfriend help two of the female revolutionaries escape from prison hoping that they will lead them to the cash, which they plan on keeping for themselves.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

#44 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

Standard shot in the Philippines, early 70s jungle revolution adventure with chicks that take their tops off flick. The only difference is (besides the sad fact that the version I saw had the nudity clearly edited out - sniff, sniff) this one's got some good laughs. There's an ambitious (and played for laughs) Captain who has his personal photographer take his pictures at every opportunity since he predicts he will one day be a famous military leader. As he lies dying at the end of the picture he says...

"The camera...quickly...while...we've still got light."

His delivery is great. The MVP in this picture is definitely John Ashley. He's got the best lines and out-acts everyone else in the picture. He's funny as hell, he's good and it's too bad he only did 28 movies (all low budget) from '57 to '77 and didn't do another before he died in '97.

[to the 3 girls that betrayed him and tied him up]
"Yeah, but I used to think I'd let all of ya pee on my face just to see where it came from but, hell, not anymore!"

The movie is OK but the bits I mentioned are about the best parts. Sid Haig is fun as the resistance leader and there's a decent, lengthy chase & fight at the end. It would be best to watch the last half hour and skip the rest. That's where all of the comedy is and everything that's worth anyone's time.