Frantic (1988)

Director: Roman Polanski

Starring: Harrison Ford, Betty Buckley, Emmanuelle Seigner

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They've taken his wife. Now he's taking action.

Plot: In a hotel room in Paris, a doctor comes out of the shower and finds that his wife has disappeared. He soon finds himself caught up in a world of intrigue, espionage, gangsters, drugs and murder.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? What's the French word for "I don't fucking think so"?

Here's Polanski's failed attempt at a Hitchcock thriller. It's a pisser, too, because I like Polanski and he knows how to make a fantastic thriller. Despite a likable Ford, it's two hours of "I don't care". What's this, an Ennio Morricone score? Meh. The plot is very simple but it's padded far too much. Seriously? You needed two full hours to tell this story? 30 minutes in I just wanted it to end. My opinion hasn't changed much in the 20 or so years since the first and only time I watched this. The only difference this time is I'm writing it down to warn my future self from attempting it again.

Barbarella (1968)

Director: Roger Vadim

Starring: Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, Milo O'Shea, Marcel Marceau, David Hemmings

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Who seduces an angel? Who strips in space? Who conveys love by hand? Who gives up the pill? Who takes sex to outer space? Who's the girl of the 21st century? Who nearly dies of pleasure?

Plot: The year is 40,000. Barbarella is a futuristic girl from Earth who is called on to retrieve Durand-Durand, a noted scientist, from the evil planet of SoGo. On her perilous (and quite sexy) journey she teams with blind angel Pygar, and battles the Black Queen along with various sexual torture devices.

My rating: 6/10 (and just barely a 6)

Will I watch it again? Noop.

OK, so it's not as bad as I remember it. This time it held my attention. Maybe it was the abundance of fuzz guitar on the soundtrack or discovering a drinking game where everyone takes a drink every time Barbarella makes a costume change (I think there were 11). Regardless, it's not THAT bad but it's one of those flicks that deserved to have been far better than it was. Seriously, the best part is the first 15 minutes...



There you go. Fonda is sexy and she's quite fun and well-chosen for the role. The sets are huge and have that larger-than-life comic book look to them. The big problem is that nearly every single scene/section over stays its welcome. Just when you think we're going to move along to the next set-piece we're forced to stick around. It's like when you're a kid and your mom forces you to go shopping with her; after five minutes you're ready to move on to the next store. If you watch BARBARELLA, and you should if for no other reason than to satisfy your curiosity, enjoy the campiness for what it is, get some friends over and drink. Then watch DANGER: DIABOLIK (1968) afterwards for some real late 60s goofy fun that gets it right. BARBARELLA is one flick that deserves a remake but only if it's done right.

Danger: Diabolik (1968)

Director: Mario Bava

Starring: John Phillip Law, Marisa Mell, Adolfo Celi, Terry Thomas

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Out for all he can take, seduce, or get away with...

Plot: In psychedelic swinging 60s style, the dreaded thief (and killer) Diabolik wreaks havoc on a generic European country for his own financial gain and amusement. He shares an extravagant underground lair (and a giant bed of money) with his curvaceous, superficial girlfriend...who uses her awesome powers of wig-wearing to help Diabolik kill innocent people and steal billions from the government. Nonetheless, Diabolik is the "hero" of the film because he must face off against bumbling cops and revenge-seeking mafiosos.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Gladly.




Groovy! Man, this flick is a total gas. It's total late 60s excess and extravagance, Bava style! Great cast, FANTASTIC Ennio Morricone score, neat color scheme, stylish costume design, huge Bond-worthy sets that would make Ken Adam smile. There's lots of action, sexiness and LOADS of fun.




The only real drawback, and it's a small one, is the 105 minute run time. After the bang zoom, fast paced first 45 or so minutes it starts to drag...but just a little. It's probably just that whenever Diabolik is on screen, shit's really super cool. It needs less non-Diabolik business. Still, it's a super fun ride from start to finish. It's too bad there weren't any sequels and I'm kind of not surprised this hasn't been re-made. That's a good thing, I suppose, as doing it in any style other than the way this one was would be a waste of time. DANGER: DIABOLIK was made at just the right time and with just the right talent.

The Don Is Dead (1973)

Director: Richard Fleischer

Starring: Anthony Quinn, Frederic Forrest, Robert Forster, Al Lettieri

More info: IMDB

Tagline: Power built an empire. Passion destroyed it.

Plot: After a Mafia boss meets his maker, crime czar Don Angelo (Anthony Quinn) stands primed to take over the syndicate. When he learns that an ambitious minion (Robert Forster) is a rival for the affections of the kingpin's doxy (Angel Tompkins), Angelo promises to drench the streets with the underling's blood. The don's vow soon sets off an internecine war of orchestrated violence in director Richard Fleischer's tale of duplicity and reprisal.

My rating: 4.5/10

Will I watch it again? Aw, hell, no.

More like the movie is dead. Paid three bucks for it at Big Lots. Keep the three clams...I want my 115 minutes back. In a word...lifeless and uninspired. OK, then...two words. I honestly expected more given the cast. I've never seen Quinn more tired, Forster more out of his element and Letieri trying so hard with a poor script and poor direction. I really like all of these dudes and it was painful to see their talent so wasted. This is just bad. This isn't even in the same game as THE GODFATHER (1972) (released 20 months earlier) which it's clearly trying to ride the coat tails of (the genre, I mean). I blame Fleischer, despite how that pains me. It's like George Luca$ and the shit performances he was able to squeeze out of (mostly) otherwise good actors in the prequels. Just check out Fleischer's early directorial efforts. He did some great shit. But then you see that he directed the lame Conan sequel and RED SONJA (1985). That says everything. TDID is one huge missed opportunity. I REALLY wanted to like this. I tried...HARD. The explosions were awfully nice, though.

Horror Rises from the Tomb (1973)

Director: Carlos Aured

Starring: Paul Naschy, Emma Cohen, Victor Alcazar, Helga Line, Betsabe Ruiz

More info: IMDb

Plot: In Medieval France a warlock is be-headed and his wife tortured and executed. Hundreds of years later an isolated group of people discover his head buried on their property. Soon it comes back to life, possessing people and using them to commit sacrifices and to search for the rest of his body.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah, there are far too many Eurotrash horror flicks of this era to cover before I hit this on again.


Well here was a nice surprise for a late Saturday night! I loves me some early 70s Eurotrash horror and this did the trick nicely. One thing I like about them is the style, look, the usually Gothic vibe, GREAT locations with lots of castles, lots of blood, violence and nude European broads! What's not to like? The problem that usually plagues these films is that they're slow; and not slow for artistic reasons in telling a proper story. No. Slow because they've got to fill up to 90 minutes which means LOTS of filler. When you've seen a lot of these you start to appreciate them more. That doesn't mean the bad ones get better, they still suck. It's just that the ones that don't suck seem better than they should be. HRftT is one of those pictures.




I don't want to sound like it's a shitty picture except that it's better than a lot in this genre. It's actually pretty good and it's got a lot going for it. For the most part, it doesn't drag like they typically do. It's got the odd slow spot here and there but it doesn't come to a screeching halt and the slow bits are very brief. That's really what sets this apart from the others. It's got some nice lighting, WONDERFUL makeup effects (which is better than what this genre is used to) and, naturally, lots of beautiful European gals running around with no clothes on.




The story is very simple and requires no thinking but it's a visual experience and not something you'll strap on the reading glasses and pipe for. The dubbing wasn't too obnoxious but the music certainly was. Carmelo A. Bernaola's organ score was shameful. He phoned it in. This was likely due to budget issues but what's there is pretty bad. Other than that I quite liked it. I really don't need to see it again as there are tons of these flicks out there to see and my list of things to watch is over 10,000 at this point. At 250 movies a year it'll be 40 years before I'm done. I'd better step up my game.

The Night of the Generals (1967)

Director: Anatole Litvak

Starring: Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, Tom Courtenay, Charles Gray, Donald Pleasence, Christopher Plummer

More info: IMDb

Taglline: A unique manhunt across the capitals of Europe... across three decades up to today!

Plot: The murder of a prostitute in Nazi occupied Warsaw draws Wehrmacht Major Grau into an investigation where the evidence points to one of three high ranking Generals. The trail leads Grau from Warsaw to Paris and straight into the 1944 plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler, of which two of the Generals are deeply involved. Grau's case goes unfinished and it is not until 1965 when the true killer is brought to justice.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah, maybe in another 20 years.

Ever since seeing THE DIRTY DOZEN (1967) as a kid in the 70s I was hooked on WWII movies. I think I was a teenager when I saw TNotG. My opinion still holds. It's a pretty damn good thriller and, despite the moments of lag (the last half hour before the climax starts to drain you) and the annoyingly amateurish score by Maurice Jarre (one of the most over-rated film composers of all time - I dig some of this guy's work, a lot actually, but much of what he wrote was trite and silly), it holds up well and it's worth watching just for the cast alone. It's nice to see a film dealing with Germans during WWII that doesn't get into ideology. This is about a murderer, high ranking officials in the German Army and an investigator. It's a nice change of pace from the usual WWII fare.

Mad Max (1979)

Director: George Miller

Starring: Mel Gibson, Joanne Samuel, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Steve Bisley, Tim Burns, Roger Ward

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The Maximum Force of the Future.

Plot: In a post apocalyptic future, jaded motorcycle cop Max Rockatansky (Gibson) is ready to retire. But his world is shattered when a malicious gang murders his family as an act of retaliation, forcing a devastated Max to hit the open road seeking vengeance. As he travels the Australian outback's empty stretches of highway, he tours the bloodstained battlegrounds ruled by marauding bikers who feed on violence.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Oh, yeah!

#44 on my on-going quest to watch every film from the amazing documentary, NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD: THE WILD, UNTOLD STORY OF OZPLOITATION! (2008)



It's kick ass. That's all that needs to be said. There's plenty of action and UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE car stunts that put modern films to shame. Gibson is fun and it's too wild seeing him so young. In my younger days I remember this had long stretches of boring but I can't imagine now what I must have been thinking. Yeah, there's some lovey-dovey stuff in the middle but it's the quiet before the storm and when Max gets mad...IT'S ON!























Fun score by Brian May. The real stars here, though, are the stunts and stuntmen. They're fucking insane. The camera mounts on the cars, being so low to the road were ground breaking. You see those kinds of shots now but you didn't 30+ years ago. MAD MAX is a film that is often overshadowed by it's sequel which is understandable. It's got even more action and the stunts are even more insane. THE ROAD WARRIOR is a more enjoyable film but the apple didn't fall far from the tree that brought this franchise to life.