Deadfall (1968)

Director: Bryan Forbes

Starring: Michael Caine, Giovanna Ralli, Eric Portman

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Michael Caine plunges into the world of the adulterous... the treacherous... and the perverse!

Plot: Cat burglar Henry Clarke and his accomplices the Moreaus attempt to steal diamonds from the chateau of millionaire Salinas.

My rating? 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.


Whatever you do, don't read the plot synopsis on Netflix 'cause they spoil the shit out of it. I'm just now reading it and I'm stunned that's the one they ran with. I've been a huge fan of composer John Barry since the mid-70s. I used to listen to my parent's record of GOLDFINGER (1964) ad nauseum. My soundtrack collecting days were not far ahead of me at that point but it wasn't until about 1989 when a new found soundtrack collector friend had me listen to Barry's score for DEADFALL. WOW! His guitar concerto written for the most crucial scene in the film blew me away. Great stuff. It's amazing that it took another twenty years before I finally watched the damn thing.

John Barry...music badass!

That scene I mentioned was for the big robbery Caine and the old man pull off. Their heist is inter cut with the concert the owners are attending. The music builds a lot of tension and the entire sequence is remarkably done. The guitar soloist, btw, is Renata Tarrago.


I digs me some Michael Caine and I think this is the first picture I've seen of his that I don't want to see again. It's a very long and drab two hours and the big twist, while an interesting development in the story, isn't the game changer they'd like you to think it'd be. Even for '68 it couldn't have been THAT insane, could it? The performances are fine, the music's great but when it came down to it, I really didn't care much about the characters. I'll stick to the soundtrack instead.

Clash of the Titans (1981)

Director: Desmond Davis

Starring: Laurence Olivier, Claire Bloom, Maggie Smith, Ursula Andress, Jack Gwillim, Harry Hamlin, Burgess Meredith

More info: IMDb

Tagline: An Epic Entertainment Spectacular!

Plot: By answering a seemingly impossible riddle, Perseus, the son of Zeus, wins the hand of the Princess Andromeda in marriage. Trouble appears in the shape of Calibos, the princess's former love, and his mother, the Goddess Thetis. In order that the dreaded Kraken not be released, Andromeda has to be sacrificed and Perseus searches for the Medusa; her head is the only thing that can stop the Kraken.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Sure as shit!

#17 from SWORD & SANDAL TRAILERS VOL. 1. (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

I remember seeing this in the theater nearly thirty years ago. I loved it then and I love it still. It's a great adventure story in the mold of the Sinbad pictures and sword & sandals of the 60s. The special effects (except for when the city is attacked in the beginning) are outstanding. Ray Harryhausen's stop motion work is nothing short of fantastic. Medusa is downright frightening.



The makeup for Calibos is astonishingly good and nothing compares to it in the ridiculously bland remake that came out this year.


I'm OK with Hamlin in the role of Perseus but I cannot tolerate the comic relief that is that fucking mechanical owl. It looks cool as hell and I'd love to have one sitting on my desk but not in this movie. That's the one thing they got right in the remake and it made for a good laugh but for a different reason.


The original had life and I think the practical effects did much to exemplify that. The remake just sat there. This is an excellent case for how CGI does not equal better. Oh, and here's something the remake missed completely, an image that stayed with that 12 year old boy who saw this in the theater way back in 1981...

Chato's Land (1972)

Director: Michael Winner

Starring: Charles Bronson, Jack Palance

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The scream of his victims is the only sound he makes.

Plot: After Pardon Chato, a mestizo, killed a US marshal in self-defense, a posse pursues him, but as the white volunteers advance deep in Indian territory they become more hunted then prey, leading to internal strife. They rape Chato's woman, and are hunted down to the last man by the unrelenting warrior.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah!

Bronson = Badass! He doesn't say much...he doesn't have to.

First of all, look at Bronson's physique at age 51!

I need to start working out. Jeez. I don't know what more you need than Bronson and Palance but there's a shitload of killing on Bronson's part. He barely has any lines but then he doesn't really need any to say what he's got to say.


For the most part, it's a good movie but the nearly two hour runtime really hurts it. It's about halfway through that Palance's (who is surprisingly somewhat sympathetic here) men rape and murder Bronson's wife and child which sets off Bronson's revenge. The setup could have been much leaner and there's still some fat to trim once Bronson goes chimpshit. But seriously, though, it's Charles Bronson and Jack Palance in a western killing folks. That's all I really need...really.

The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)

Director: Val Guest

Starring: Brian Donlevy, Jack Warner, Margia Dean

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Beware of "THE CREEPING UNKNOWN!"

Plot: A missile, launched by the team led by Prof. Quatermass, lands in the English countryside. Of the three members of the crew, two have mysteriously disappeared. The third one, barely alive, undergoes an horrible metamorphosis turning into a monstrous "thing". When he breaks out and, chased in vain by inspector Lomax, starts killing humans and animals to feed his transformation, Quatermass realizes that this is the way chosen by an alien form of life to invade the Earth.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah. It's not a bad way to kill 78 minutes.

Brian Donlevy just doesn't work for me in these Hammer sci-fi flicks. I'm sure he's great in film noirs but in sci-fi, I don't think so. Maybe it's his heavy American accent in a sea of Brits or maybe he's just not that great of an actor. Combination of both I suppose. TQX is a fun little flick with a good story, mostly good performances, great James Bernard score and good special effects.

Evil Keg (2007)

Director: Allen Wilbanks

Starring: People living in and around Atlanta

More info: IMDb

Tagline: It's Killer Time

Plot: Marcus Colby's family brewery, Col-Brew Brewing, is knee deep in financial trouble when Beer Mistress Vivian develops a revolutionary zero calorie beer. Unfortunately her late night experiments reveals a slight side effect; any one who drinks it turns into a flesh eating freak. When Marcus finds out about the bad beer he immediately sends Vivian home. The sexy evil beer mistress decides to get even and uses her invention for evil and world domination. She seizes Marcus' brewery and cooks up enough libations to infect the entire town. It's up to Marcus to save the family business, the townspeople, the love of his life, his father and the world.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? If I do, it's only because a friend of mine is in it.

I could add a couple of points to the score simply because it's an accomplishment just to make a movie, let alone one that lasts an hour and a half. BUT I can't do that because then you have to watch that hour and a half long movie. The problem with nearly all first or almost first-time no budget movies is they rarely have coverage shots, the pacing is too slow, there's not enough editing (which goes back to the lack of coverage) and scenes either run too long or shouldn't be there in the first place. I'll cut to the chase. Here's the best part of the movie...

IMAGE OF STRANGELY ATTRACTIVE (in that Sandra Bernhard kind of way)
TOPLESS WOMAN
REMOVED BY REQUEST OF THE DIRECTOR, THE MAN WHO
WAS ABLE TO COAX THAT TOP OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE.

If a buddy of mine hadn't had a bit part in it (he's in the party scene where everyone turns into zombies...as if you're going to watch it now) which prompted us to watch it. Too bad he's barely in it 'cause it probably would have helped the picture if he had a bigger role. I'll give Wilbanks points for trying but that's about it except for the one scene of lovely nudity. Movies don't have to be 90 minutes long. It's OK to make one that's half that. I swear that when the day comes and I make a movie, my top priority will always be to make it fun to watch. No matter what I do I will always have that one principal in mind. At every turn I'll ask myself, "Would I want to see this? Is this entertaining?" and if the answer is "no" then I'm scrappin' it. Now if I could only find a camera and some girls willing to get naked...

One Dark Night (1983)

AKA: Mausoleum

Director: Tom McLoughlin

Starring: Meg Tilly, Adam West

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A night to remember - until the day until you die!

Plot: A strange man named Karl Rhamarevich dies shortly after discovering a way to become even more powerful in death through telekinesis. On the night of his burial in a crypt, Julie is to spend the night there as part of an initiation rite, supervised by two other girls. The crypt becomes a scene of horror as Raymar returns to life and deploys his horrifying telekinetic powers, with coffins sliding out and splintering open to release decaying bodies on Raymar's command. The bodies soon begin to menace the three girls trapped inside.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

Here's a flick I vaguely remember from my teen years on VHS. When I saw it in the mid-80s it was titled, MAUSOLEUM. It's alright. It's nice to see some familiar faces. Meg Tilly is scrummy as ever. It's always fun to see Adam West and that chick that plays the singer in BETTER OFF DEAD (1985) is in it (Elizabeth Daily). The first half is the most painful until they FINALLY get into the mausoleum. Once they're there the creepfest begins. There are some pretty good special effects and creepy moments but 45 minutes of good doesn't make up for the fist 45 of meh.

Forbidden Planet (1956)

Director: Fred M. Wilcox

Starring: Leslie Nielsen, Walter Pidgeon, Anne Francis

More info: IMDb

Tagline: IT'S OUT OF THIS WORLD!

Plot: When Adams and his crew are sent to investigate the silence from a planet inhabited by scientists, he finds all but two have died. Dr. Morbius and his daughter Altaira have somehow survived a hideous monster which roams the planet. Unknown to Adams, Morbius has made a discovery, and has no intention of sharing it (or his daughter!) with anyone.

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yup.

Excellent sci-fi classic - the best of the 50s. The intelligent story, the sets, the ground-breaking electronic score by Bebe & Louis Barron, the special effects, the introduction to the iconic Robby the Robot, the works! I never grow tired of watching this. The DVD special edition from a few years back looks fantastic. I'm sure the blu-ray looks even more amazing that it would make me giggle. Any self-respecting sci-fi fan owes it to themselves and to the sci-fi community to watch this and marvel at this 64 year old marvel in outer space storytelling.