Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Amazing World of Psychic Phenomena (1976)


Director: Robert Guenette

Starring: Raymond Burr

Tagline: The most incredible displays of psychic power ever filmed.

More Info: IMDB

Plot: Documentary exploring such phenomena as astral projection, telekinesis, telepathy, voices from beyond the grave, ghosts/spirits, etc.



My Rating: 5/10

Would I watch it again? with alcohol and a room full of skeptics to collectively rip it apart and figure out how they're performing their ruses.

#7 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

1970s saw a boon in UFO and supernatural documentaries. It pretty much started with the 1970 doc, CHARIOTS OF THE GODS. Later came others about Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle, ESP and so on, culminating in the Leonard Nimoy TV series, IN SEARCH OF...(1976). I remember being enthralled with the latter, watching it religiously week after week. Hell, even Shatner narrated one called MYSTERIES OF THE GODS the same year as Nimoy's show.


See...when you're a kid you'll believe all kinds of things. Some grow out if it. I did. As an atheist and skeptic, I approach subjects like these with caution. I don't believe that UFOs have landed here and taken humans hostage for anal exams. I don't believe we can predict the future. I don't believe in Bigfoot. I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me. Oh, wait. Isn't that a song or something?


Famous phony psychic, Jean Dixon, believes that our destinies are interlocked with the movements of the planets. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I require hard proof. Anecdotal stories don't hold much water. My uncle's account of having his butt tickled in the middle of the night by some creature that looks like Celine Dion doesn't cut it for me. Nor does my Mother's account of my predicting the rise and fall of Hitler and the cancellation of the TV show HEROES when I was 4. Just because I had a dream the night someone close to me died doesn't mean doodly squat. I am a firm believer in coincidences. It's funny how we choose to ignore the millions of non-coincidences throughout each day, yet when something freaky happens we tend to think it's some divine providence or psychic intrusion. I'll stick with "it's just a coincidence".


Having said that, I'm naturally dispositioned to not like this, right? Someone, upon finding out how I really feel about all of this, once asked me how I could watch movies or read fiction that dealt with these kinds of subjects without getting angry. Really? Look, THE SIXTH SENSE creeps me out. I know ghosts aren't real but it's a well-told story and I don't have to believe in it to be affected by it. You know, you use your 'suspension of disbelief'. So I threw back, "You like STAR WARS, right?", yep. "Do you believe any of it?". Nope. Well there you go.


Those born under the sign of Sagittarius are impulsive...


...like Frank Sinatra.

But a documentary is different as it's presenting its subject with facts, making a case for it one way or the other. Make no mistake about this one. They believe it. Sure Raymond Burr mentions skeptics but he quickly dismisses any claim that a non-believer may have by saying, "We've explored outer space. We've studied this Earth from pole to pole, but only now are we beginning to understand the strange and mysterious powers said to exist in all of us; powers known as ESP or Extra Sensory Perception, or simply psychic powers from the Greek word psychicos [sp?] which means 'of the soul'...spiritual. We've all heard of these powers, of men who can bend metal with the powers of their minds, of thoughts mentally transferred through the air, of thoughts even being photographed. We've heard of spirits walking, of ghost talking. We've heard of prophets of telling the future, of psychic investigators solving crimes, of people's spirits traveling out of their bodies, of re-incarnation. We've heard about these things and SOME have been skeptical; skeptical but tantalized, intrigued by the possibilities. In this motion picture we're going to examine these possibilities. Our camera teams have traveled around the world, collecting the evidence. Great efforts have been made to scrutinize this evidence, to ASSURE authenticity. We're going to examine, first hand, that these phenomena are FACT or fiction."


The words in BOLD indicate Burr's strong emphasis. You can clearly see their position. OK. I've got no problem with that as there are tons of people out there who believe in these things. I once did myself many many years ago. So before you point fingers and say I'm a cynic I want to show you I'm not because I REALLY do want to believe in these things. I would REALLY like to see that Bigfoot does exist, that we've been visited by aliens all along and that I can use "The Force" to move shit across the room. By the way, as a kid having his world changed forever by STAR WARS in '77, I tried for years to use The Force to get the TV remote from the coffee table after seeing Luke do the same with his lightsaber in EMPIRE. True story. Don't laugh because you've tried it, too.


This "documentary" examines each of the phenomena outlined in Burr's opening monologue, showing footage or re-enactments for all of them. If you're on the fence about believing in such things, this will likely sway you. They cover A LOT of ground in 93 minutes, some of it very compelling. It looks real, they say it's real, they've supposedly got hundreds and thousands of people saying it's real so it must be, right? I spent the first half hour having a ball trying to figure out their tricks and finding gaping holes in their logic. Much of it is fairly obvious and almost insulting in their delivery. I'm willing to bet that even the most die-hard believer would find one of these things hard to swallow.

The great escape artist and magician Harry Houdini is mentioned. They talk of how he attended seances around the world, hoping to contact the spirit of his dead mother. He failed, however, and vowed after his own death that he would make every effort to communicate a message from the other side. What they failed to mention was that after realizing he'd been duped and this seance business was a load of horseshit, he spent the rest of his life exposing these fakers and cheats for who they really were. Where the hell was that important piece of information? They make him out to be a dyed-in-the-wool believer. In truth, he was anything but.


Here's an example of their 'proof' that we all have some psychic ability. A tester holds up two cards, one being the 2 of hearts. He asks Burr to psychically choose that card. Now obviously there's a 50/50 chance that he will choose the right card but to make sure, the tester glances to the card in his right hand AS HE SAYS, "Now I know which one of these is the 2 of hearts."!!!!!!!!!!!! Burr chooses the correct hand. Surprise! I'm not making this up, folks. This is where I started wondering if this whole picture was a joke. We're just 15 minutes into it. But it gets better. After Burr picks the right card and the tester reveals it, he says, "Most of you, uh, sensed that this was the 2 of hearts, I'm sure." I'm speechless.



This is just one of 5 tests that Burr is subjected to, passing 3 of them.

The other tests?

Two of these fish were dead at the time these photos were taken. Can you guess which fish was alive by reading the tester's thoughts?


If you chose the middle one as Burr did, congratulations. You are psychic.

One of these two cars is red and the other is blue. Can you tell which one is red? Burr couldn't. He chose the second car. Wah, wah, wahhhhhhh.


Now let's see how you do on this next one, he says. One of these women is the mother of the young boy. Can you sense which of the women it is?


Oh, I don't know...could it be the woman with the same hair and shirt color as the child? Burr chooses the one in the red shirt. He was right.

Which of these three young men is hang gliding for the first time?


Burr picks the first one. No, the tester says, it's the one in the rear. (That line gave me a chuckle, knowing Burr's, ahem, recreational activities.)

So are you getting the idea on what level they're on? After the first half hour my attention span waned and I found myself waiting for this to die. A lot of it is the typical stuff we're familiar with like telekinesis and psychic detectives. There were some things that I'd never heard of like the guy who could taste what other people were eating!?!?!?!


Then there's the guy who could take photographs of the images in his mind!?!?!?!?! I'll at least give him bonus points for his taking people's gullibility to a new level.


Look, there are a lot of reasons why people make outrageous claims like being able to find water with a stick, reading minds, making predictions or that their colon can predict earthquakes. One reason could be for the attention; another, blatant trickery to make money. Or, they could actually believe they possess that special gift, giving their existence a greater importance. Who doesn't want to feel important in this vast universe in which we live?

Could it be a coincidence that, after millions of years of evolution, our species has evolved to the point of understanding much that surrounds us and, while not knowing all the answers, we find that, in time, everything will be explainable through concrete, rational and natural means? There are those who find comfort living in a world of fantasy and magic. You see, I believe in coincidences; they, on the other hand, do not.

Sugar Hill (1974)


Director: Paul Maslansky

Starring: Marki Bey, Robert Quarry & Don Pedro Colley

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: She's sweet as sugar... with a voodoo army of the undead!

Plot: When her boyfriend is brutally murdered, after refusing to be shaken down by the local gangsters running their protection racket, Sugar Hill, decides not to get mad, but BAD! Calling upon the help of aged voodoo queen Mama Maitresse, Sugar entreats her to call upon Baron Zamedi, the Lord of the Dead, for help in gaining a gruesome revenge. In exchange for her soul, the Dark Master raises up a zombie army to do her bidding. The bad guys who thought they were getting away clean are about to find out that they're DEAD wrong.



My Rating: 4.5/10

Would I watch it again? no

#15 on Blaxploiteasin' (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

#6 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

#18 on 42nd Street Forever Vol. 2: The Deuce (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

I've seen the trailer many times and had looked forward to the day that I would get around to watching it. The wait is over. Well it seemed like a good idea a the time.


The story is simple. Sugar's man gets beaten to death by local mobsters who wanted to buy out his club. Sugar wants revenge and seeks it via a voodoo priestess, Mama Maitresse, who summons Baron Samedi. The Baron, in exchange for Sugar's soul, gives her command of a bunch of zombies to kill everyone she wants dead.


That sounds like fun, right? As it so happens...it's boring. The acting is OK but you've got Bey as a low-rent Pam Grier & Colley as a low-rent Geoffrey Holder (who played the same character WAY better a year earlier in LIVE AND LET DIE). That hurts the picture because you know they could've done something better. But with that aside, they don't really hurt the picture all that much. My main beef is with the story and the execution.


15 minutes into the picture Sugar meets Mama and minutes later she's leading the zombie charge against Whitey. Good. We don't need much set up. For the rest of the picture she and her undead pals are slowly killing off the bad guys one by one and with no resistance. Sugar just shows up, says a few words and sicks the zombies on 'em. She's never once in any danger and there's never anything or anyone that threatens her plans. So why should anyone care at this point? Exactly.

Meet Mama Mattress or something or other...

And the ending? Fuck me. The Baron is supposed to get her soul after she's done with her revenge. So after Sugar's zombies take care of the top mobster, Morgan (Robert Quarry), she offers the Baron Morgan's girl. He takes her instead of Sugar saying that she will do for now. THE FUCK? Whatever. Oh, and he gives her his cane as a gift. So after all this shit she doesn't die? Goddamn I was pissed. After 91 minutes of waiting for a payoff, her life is spared and she gets a present to boot? UGH!


I dug the zombie makeup. That was cool. It's just really disappointing that you get a premise so ripe with possibilities and they ultimately went with something dull and lifeless. What a waste. Watch the trailer a few times instead and let your imagination go to places these film makers apparently couldn't even dream of.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Undertaker and His Pals (1966)


Director: TLP Swicegood

Starring: James Westmoreland, Ray Dennis and other nobodys

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: A macabre story of two motorcycle-riding, knife-wielding, shiv-shaving, eye-gouging, arm-twisting, chain-lashing, scalpel-flashing, acid-throwing, gun-shooting, bone-breaking, pathological nuts and their pal the UNDERTAKER...

Plot: An undertaker and his two friends, who are restaurant owners, drum up business by going out on the town and killing people; the restaurant owners use parts of the bodies for their menu, and the undertaker gets paid by the families to bury the remainder. Their racket goes awry when 2 detectives suspect that something isn't quite kosher.



My Rating: 6.5/10

Would I watch it again? I wouldn't kick it out of bed...

#1 on 42nd Street Forever Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)









TUaHP will take you by surprise with its humor. I was sort of expecting a horror flick of sorts but it's so silly and charming I couldn't help but like it. It's very much in the vein of THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960) and BUCKET OF BLOOD (1960) (both films, btw, filmed back to back in 3-4 days total by Roger Corman! - two of my favorites). All of the actors are likable and fun, there's a little gore (could've used more) and it's only 63 minutes long! There's only a 5 minute stretch around the 2/3 mark that drags but other than that, it's well-paced and funny.

Get it? Leg of lamb is on the menu? Now meet Ms. Poultry. The waiter nicknames her chicken. That night she's killed and the next morning...

Great stuff!

The comedy is broad but it's the actors that sell it. I'm quite surprised. I was expecting this to under deliver like the last two pictures I checked out. The short running time really helped out.



Meet Friday!


Say goodbye to Friday...


...and say hello to her twin sister, Thursday! Hubba, hubba!!!
Both of them need to have my babies - now that'd make for a long weekend...OH!!!

The last couple of minutes or so have all of the cast (most of them died) come alive from when we last saw them. It's pretty hilarious. If you dig low budget flicks like I do, you owe it to yourself to watch it. Netflix it or whatever. It's pretty neat-o. That song you hear in the trailer is not in the film, btw, but there is a fun tune over the final bit (see below). This would have been a gas to see at a drive in with a bunch of friends. The only thing that would have been better is probably more gore and some skin. The actresses in this thing were uber cuties and fun to watch.



Hollywood Boulevard (1976)


Director: Joe Dante & Allan Arkush

Starring: Dick Miller (!!!), Candice Rialson, Mary Woronov and Paul Bartel

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The street where starlets are made!

Plot: At Hollywood B movie factory Miracle Pictures, a good movie really is a miracle. Aspiring actress Candy Hope is looking for her big break, but what she gets instead is a part in Miracle's latest oeuvre. She's happy anyway -- until somebody starts killing off the film's starlets.



My Rating: 5.5/10

Would I watch it again? Nope.

#34 on Drive-In Delirium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

Mary McQueen is the killer. Oops. Spoilers.

So how badly do you rate a comedy that you don't find funny? Maybe I just wasn't in the mood. I don't know.

The good...

Dick Miller, one of the greatest character actors ever. He's great as the talent agent and he gets a lot of screen time.


Mary Woronov. She needs to have my babies. You may remember her from the previous year's DEATH RACE 2000 as Calamity Jane.


Nudity. There's plenty of it. And not that jacked-up fake tits shit you got starting in the 1980s.


The cars from DEATH RACE 2000!


Paul Bartel (director of DEATH RACE 2000) as the maniacal director.


The AWESOMELY cheezy music video by Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen performing, "Everybody's Doin' It". It's catchy as hell!



A room covered with cool movie posters!


Did I mention Dick Miller?

The not so good...

I barely laughed at anything that wasn't Dick Miller.

WAY too much footage from Corman's films used as the "movie within a movie". At first it was cute but that soon wore off as it was done far too much. You'd have the girls do this...


and then this...


It sounds like a hoot but the novelty wears off. It's hilarious when used in a movie that's not trying to be funny.


There's some clear talent in front of (but not all of the actors - Candice Rialson playing the lead, Candy, doesn't fare as well) and behind the camera. But there's only so much you can do with weak material. I'm sure they did the best they could with what they had to work with. Hell, they had 10 days to shoot and only $60k to work with. But Dick Miller is a riot!


I had more fun watching the following Q&A after a 2008 screening. I think had I seen these first I would have dug the picture more than I did...or didn't. The last video is the trailer with commentary, btw. It's definitely worth seeing.








Chain Gang Women (1971)


Director: Lee Frost

Starring: Robert Lott, Michael Stearns, Linda York and Barbara Mills

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Chained like animals - treated like trash - even the filth and sweat couldn't stop their primitive cravings!

Plot: Two boring MALE convicts escape a chain gang. Yawning ensues.



My Rating: 3/10

Would I watch it again? jesus, no.

#5 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

First of all, the title is misleading...unless you're George Luca$ (you know, that whole "from a certain point of view" thing?). This is NOT a Women In Prison picture like the title, or even the poster, suggests. Nope. Not even close. At best, it's a low-rent COOL HAND LUKE.

"We broke out." Well, fucking DUH! You're in prison uniforms and you're chained at the feet. Christ on rubber crutches, this movie is dumb!

Southern California fills in for what's supposed to be Georgia. Starting out in a prison, Harris, a drug dealer working in the prison library, has only six months left on his sentence and he's being transferred to a chain gang where he's teamed up with Weed, an convicted killer. Chained at the feet, they escape and make their way to Anne's place, Harris' girl.


Wait. I'm getting way ahead of myself. 30 minutes into the picture...NO WOMEN! In fact, it's nothing but dull prison/chain gang shit for 40 FUCKING MINUTES!!! It's a god damned sausage fest!

It's not until 43 minutes into the thing that we see the first woman!

Chain gang woman #1

Harris and Anne bang one out. Weed wants in on the action so he tells Harris to go out and buy him some clothes (see, he's taller than Harris and can't wear his clothes). While he's out, Weed rapes Anne. Harris is back and they're off to Atlanta...only the coppers have checkpoints set up on every road leading out of town so they find a farmhouse occupied by an old man and his 17-year-old wife!!! Hey, it's The South.


Chain gang woman #2

They tie the old man up and Weed rapes the wife. After he's done he relieves Harris on guard duty. The wife invites Harris into her bedroom and tells him, in her nakedness, that she wants to get away from her husband that beats her when he drinks and that she'll do anything to go with them when they leave in the morning...and she does.


They come across another checkpoint and there's a minor chase with the three eluding the fuzz and making their way back to the farmhouse. The old man has untied himself and chokes Weed to death while he sleeps, taking his rifle and killing Harris. This moldy turd ends with the old man telling his wife that everything's back to normal and it's going to be just like it was before. THE...FUCKING...END!

So, let me get this straight. You justify the title because there's a chain gang and you technically have 2 women in the film? Whatever. This picture is dull and lifeless and the only thing I came away from it with is that I don't think I've ever seen the split screen technique used more poorly and for a film shot in 1:33 (at best this might be 1:66 but likely closer to 1:33).


You have been warned. Oh, and for what it's worth? This is on a double bill DVD titled Welcome to the Grindhouse. It's paired with THE HELLCATS and it plainly says on the cover, "DOUBLE THE BIKERS DOUBLE THE TROUBLE." BULLSHIT! The other film is a biker flick but this one isn't. Oh, wait. I get it. They're following the lead set by the film makers. There IS a motorcycle in this picture. My bad. I still claim bullshit!