The Raven (1963)

Director: Roger Corman

Starring: Vincent Price, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, Jack Nicholson, Hazel Court

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The supreme adventure in terror!

Plot: A magician who has been turned into a raven turns to a former sorcerer for help in this film loosely based on the Edgar Allen Poe poem.

My Rating: 5.5/10

Would I watch it again? I don't think so

Best part of the movie? The opening two minutes as Vincent Price recites Edgar Allen Poe's classic poem with some groovy 60s background. The worst part? THE RAVEN is two hours too long for its 86 minute run time.


I just...didn't...care. I REALLY wanted to but it bored me to tears. And the humor is often far too broad for what I felt should have been taken more seriously. Make it a black comedy instead of a broad one. My taste in humor runs the gamut from Oscar Wilde to the Three Stooges. Maybe it's because I'm such a HUGE Hammer Horror fan that these Poe films of Corman's just pale in comparison. It's clear that Corman is trying to replicate their style for America. I think they fail.


It's got to come down to the Hammer-wannabe nature of it that turns me off. It kills me because I LOVE Price, Karloff and Lorre. How is it possible that these cats together in the same film doesn't send me into a complete nerdgasm? Sure, Lorre and Karloff are looking ragged from their advanced age but geez! It feels like almost no one is taking this all that seriously, knowing they're in a "comedy". They're probably doing the best with the lackluster material they're given but still.

Maybe it's the often silly music from Les Baxter, whose scores I usually dig but here it's just borderline cartoon-y at times.

There's barely a plot. A raven shows up a Price's digs (voiced by Lorre) and tries to get Price (a wizard) to reverse the curse Karloff (a wizard) placed on him and turn him back into a man. Done. That's the first 15 minutes. Then there's another 15 of Lorre trying to convince Price to confront Karloff and reclaim his father's title as grand wizard or something.


31 minutes in Jack Nicholson shows up as Lorre's son. I've never seen Nicholson more inept and juvenile as an actor. I know that's his part in the picture but he clearly looks like he doesn't know what to do when he's not speaking. It's awkward and shocking that this guy actually develops into a very good actor just years later. There's hope for us all. It's just embarrassing watching his performance. Woof.

"Golly!"

8 minutes later we meet Pope Boris the Karloff.


Lots of talking and silly looks for the half hour (OK, so there's a little bit of business about Price's wife is believed to have been long dead but it turns out she's been shacking up with Karloff) until the big wizard fight between Price and Karloff. It's 10 minutes of one-upsmanship. Price wins, surprise!, the castle burns down and our heroes escape and live happily evermore.



The sets are huge and nice but they lack the warmth the Hammer pictures had. There's a lack of rich atmosphere in THE RAVEN that makes it feel cheap. But that's how Corman made his pictures. This one, with the other Poe films he made with some of the same cast around this time, has a bigger budget than most of his films. You can see that right off the bat, so to speak. But he fails to bring a vibrant life to everything that begs to breathe and breathe deeply. Sure, the pictures are moving but it's a pale existence compared to what they were doing in the UK at that time.

EXACTLY!

Karloff delivers another fine performance and between him and the very tasty Hazel Court as his "mistress without sex", Lenore, they're the best things about this picture.


Damn, she's hot. I know she just recently passed and all but she needs to have my babies. Price is too hammy, Nicholson is hard to watch without cringing with laughter and Lorre is just playing up the Lorre caricature. Combine that with silly music and it's just too much. Toooooo much, quoth the raven nevermore.

Avatar (2009)

Director: James Cameron

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang and Michelle Rodriguez

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: What? It's a 2009 movie and there's no tagline? WTF?

Plot: A paraplegic marine dispatched to the planet Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home.

My Rating: 7.5
UPDATE 3/2/13 - My rating: 8/10


Would I watch it again? Probably, but only in 3D

Well, it's finally arrived. After all these years of hearing about James Cameron's "game changing" CGI, 3D extravaganza, it's here. Now, it's BECAUSE of the eons of hype that it's not the home run I was hoping for but it was rather good despite some minor story/dialogue/cliche issues. The CGI is consistently the best I've seen and the 3D presentation was outstanding, avoiding the obvious gimmicks often found in 3D films.


So. Where to start...the good. The world of Pandora is absolutely beautiful, the vegetation, that is. The plant life is wonderful. There's a ton of neon colors in the various forms of plants and animals. If you can imagine a forest that's the "Las Vegas" of the Amazon then you're almost there. The CGI animals, while interesting, don't fare as well. It's getting old these fantasy creatures that are "smooth and rounded" if you know what I mean. Cameron's are better than most. I'll give him that much but it doesn't feel as if he's done an awful lot that's different than what's come before.


As for the rest of the CGI in the film, it's marvelous. There wasn't a single shot in the TWO HOUR AND FORTY MINUTE PICTURE (!!! Ouch, my butt) that was sloppy. AVATAR is a marvel in this respect. Prepare to have your eyeballs massaged.

There's been a lot of talk about how the story is predictable. So fucking what? I love roller coasters. Most of them are pretty much the same. Some are fun and some are FUCKING AWESOME! Sure, I like films that try to offer something different but in this post-SIXTH SENSE/M. Night world, it's getting more and more difficult. Modern audiences are, in some ways, a bit harder to please. This isn't to say, "Go see this for the special effects." I'm not that kind of movie goer. When people tell me to see TRANSFORMERS for the amazing special effects (because, apparently there's shit for story), I stay away. I'll wait to see great effects in a good movie, thank you.

The indigenous people of the moon, Pandora, the Na'vi, are neat and all but they're too familiar to us humans. Picture 10 foot tall, anorexic, blue American Indians and you've nailed it. In many ways they behave like Indians that we've seen in the movies. In this respect the Na'vi were a let down. I did like how everything on the moon was 'connected'. The ends of the Na'vi's ponytails can latch onto animals and plants giving them the ability to become 'one' with nature. That was a cool concept that I really appreciated.


Some complaints I have are the tiny bits of cliches and one-liners Cameron tosses in that could have easily been excised. There are some giant plot holes that you have to overlook like the "Company's" discovery of the ore they're mining that's at the center of the Na'vi's most religious spot. The idea is if the Na'vi don't move, they will be killed. Surely there's more of that shit somewhere else on this huge-as moon, in that high of a concentration, than here. And because of the importance of this location to the Na'vi, you get the impression that these are the only ones of their kind on the moon. I kept wondering where the others were. We do discover there are many more but only prior to the big battle at the end...when it conveniently serves the story. WTF?

That's OK 'cause the love scene was handled nicely.


The acting was fine. It was fun seeing Sigourney Weaver back in a sci-fi flick. Wothington's OK but rather bland which reminds me of his rather bland acting in TERMINATOR: SALVATION. Rodriguez was pretty good. I LOATHED her performance in TV's LOST. She was fucking horrible in that show and her SPOILERS death END OF SPOILERS in LOST was most welcome. In this one she's a lot like Vasquez in ALIENS. The standout performance for me was Lang as the tough-as-nails Col. Quaritch. He's the badass villain of the picture and he needs his own franchise.


Cameron does get a bit preachy in a couple of spots and he sometimes interjects his politics which lessens the impact. It is possible, you know, to get your point across without beating you over the head with it. In AVATAR it's minor but it's still there and obvious.

The 3D is fucking awesome! I loved it. It's a huge plus in seeing this picture. It truly adds to the enjoyment of the film. It's not in your face like some films get when they're in 3D. I don't recall any "hey look, there's shit right in front of my face that I can reach out and grab" moments which was refreshing. Now I digs me some moments like that but in AVATAR it was more about immersing you into the environment than showing-off the gimmick. WAY COOL!

Overall, it's a great ride. James Cameron puts every nickel of the estimated $230 million budget on the screen. While it's easy to see that he spent more time on the look of the film than the internal story, it doesn't matter that much because if you're buying that ticket to be entertained, you'll certainly feel like you got your money's worth.

ALIENS this ain't! THE TERMINATOR this ain't. But it's leagues better than INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008).

Wait! Almost forgot. Cameron has tried to catch lightning in a bottle again with a hit pop song at the end of the film ala Celine Dion and TITANIC. It's not nearly catchy and timeless but it does have a certain charm that's hard to resist...

UPDATE: 3/2/13 - Now that I have a 3D TV I gave this flick a second viewing and it's better than I remembered.  I'm not bothered by the story or the acting.  I like it.  The 3D is still outstanding and the CGI world Cameron created is still the best thing about it.  I think the next time I check it out I'll try the 2D Blu-ray and see how it holds up without the gee-whiz 3D effect.

Outpost (2008)

Director: Steve Barker

Starring: Ray Stevenson

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: You can't kill what's already dead

Plot: In war-torn Eastern Europe, a world-weary group of mercenaries discover a long-hidden secret in an abandoned WWII bunker.

My Rating: 7/10

Would I watch it again? Yeah. It's got Nazi zombies, dude!

Undead Nazis. That's all I need to know to put on my list of movies to watch. I picked this one up recently at Big Lots for 3 bucks after seeing Stevenson's mug on the cover. "Hey, that's the badass who played The Punisher in the latest PUNISHER movie!", I said. Undead Nazis? Secret WWII SS experiments designing Super Soldiers? Sold!


I didn't care how bad it could be. DAMN! It turns out it's actually pretty good! Stevenson's an ass-kicker with some pretty good lines and a few of his comrades are fun characters as well. Didn't expect that.

Stevenson plays DC, a mercenary who's hired by Hunt (played by Julian Wadham) to assemble a small group of men to escort him to a spot in Eastern Europe. DC doesn't know why and neither do we. It's not until a bit after they reach their destination, an underground bunker used by the Germans in WWII, do we discover why Hunt is there.

I'll spare some details to cut to the chase. Hunt has a mission that he's desperately trying to complete but can't because undead Nazis are showing up all over the place, killing DC's men one by one. It's cool. Hunt gives us far too much of an explanation with lots of science jargon and whatnot. It's rather silly hearing him explain it. It's like, "enough already. Let's kill some supernatural Nazis!".


Stevenson is great. I'm really diggin' this actor. I just started watching ROME, the HBO series where he plays a grunt soldier in the Roman Empire. Then there's Prior (played by Richard Brake). He's your stereotypical redneck mercenary at first but the more you get to know him the less conventional he is. I'd say he's the best character in the film next to DC. And this guy's got some great lines.


DC: [to Taktarov, who's just been shooting along the treeline at an unseen sniper] When I say, "Hold fire", you hold fire.
Taktarov: I got heem.
DC: You sure of that? Fine. Sweep and clear that area.
Taktarov: [hesitates, looking afraid]

Prior: Nah, fuck Sputnik, I'll do it.

His delivery is casual, natural and spot on. This guy's priceless.

Lots of people die leading up to the explosive climax full of bullets, blood and undead Nazis kickin' some major ass. OUTPOST is a fun ride. There are some plot holes throughout that can ruin the experience if you're the type that allow it. Like if the undead Nazis can easily kill everyone, why do they take 24 or so hours to kill off DC's men one by one? Why not do it all at once instead of being so theatrical about it? Who knows and, more importantly, who cares? It wouldn't be as much fun to watch for starters.

I have no idea what the budget was but I expect it wasn't much. This film looks pretty damn good, too, and the special effects are great. They were smart enough to not reach beyond their grasp like so many films tend to do. They didn't leave any shitty shots in. Nice move.

I've seen three films that deal with Nazi zombies since starting this blog; OUTPOST (2008), DEAD SNOW (2009) (soon to be reviewed here) and SHOCK WAVES (1977). There's a few more out there and I'm sure to get to them sooner or later. I mean, shit! Zombie Nazis!!!

Watchmen (2009)

Director: Zack Snyder

Starring: Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: This city is afraid of me. I've seen its true face.

Plot: In an alternate 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it.

My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? Yup!

I never read the graphic novel. Still haven't but I'm eager to. I had no idea what to expect walking into the theater. I was blown away.


The multi-level story is most interesting. The characters are diverse with more than a few that are so much fun they deserve their own separate franchise. Haley rocks as Rorschach. He's just a down-to-Earth-balls-out-do-what-has-to-be-done-regardless-of-what-anyone-thinks kind of guy. His prison scene bits are badass and hysterically funny.


Morgan as The Comedian is fantastic as well. He's a really nasty good guy. Despite being a rapist, murderer and an all 'round asshole, he's really likable and enjoyable to watch. It's a strange dynamic that really works well.


Everyone else in the cast does a super job with the exception of Akerman. Sure she gets points for walking around half nude through most of the picture, except when she's completely nude (gotta love superheroes that get naked), but her performance doesn't match the level of her co-stars. I'm sure she seemed like a good idea during casting but it's quite obvious once you see her in the midst of solid performances. But, hey. It's not nearly as bad as Keanu Reeves in BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992)!

The ending is something of a downer but it's a downer that's kind of uplifting and it's certainly one that provides fodder to discuss at-length with friends. Compared to most folks, I watch A LOT of movies and I watch them for a variety of reasons. I like to be entertained, for sure, but when something like this that comes along that delivers the goods AND sneaks in some weighty commentary that turns my brain on, I relish in it.


One fine example is Dr. Manhattan. If you could do ANYTHING, would you stay on Earth? With the universe at your fingertips, would you care? Like a kid running free in a toy store I would expect your favorite toy would soon lose favor to something else. It's bound to happen. Manhattan's actions and dialogue seemed very rational for a 'person' in his state. Those around him may not see it or accept it but that's their issue, not his.

Cookies made for a recent WATCHMEN Blu-ray screening...Mmmmm...

The three hour and six minute director's cut is a lot to sit through. It's definitely a commitment but it's worth it. And some say I'm afraid of commitment. Ha!! In...your...face!

X2 (2003)

Director: Bryan Singer

Starring: EVERYBODY

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: First, they were fighting for acceptance. Now, they're battling for survival

Plot: The X-Men band together to find a mutant assassin who has made an attempt on the President's life, while the Mutant Academy is attacked by military forces.

My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? Uh-huh-2


Kicks ass. Pure and simple. A great ensemble cast (with the exception of Halle Berry) and direction pulls off an even better story loaded with more action and thrills than the first. That's rare. It's darker, funnier and flat out better. 'Nuff said.

X-Men (2000)

Director: Bryan Singer

Starring: EVERYBODY

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Evolution Begins.

Plot: Two mutants come to a private academy for mutants whose resident superhero team must oppose a powerful mutant terrorist organization.

My Rating: 7.5/10

Would I watch it again? Uh-huh

Everyone's seen this and since I really dig it there's not much for me to say. It's a fun movie that exceeded my expectations. I remember reading some of the comics as a kid in the 1970s but I hardly remember anything from them aside from the character names and their abilities. That's all fine.


Singer assembled a great cast with Jackman giving the breakout, star-making performance. McKellen's portrayal of Magneto couldn't have been better. But Halle Berry? Seriously, she's not a very good actress. I've seen a few of her films and, with the exception of MONSTER'S BALL, she's been OK at best. Woof.

Oh, and Mystique is VERY easy on the eyes...


Great set-up and delivery with most of the characters and action set-pieces, something they improved upon in the sequel. If my memory serves me correctly, this was the first comic book film in a long time that took the material seriously and it was the first in a continuing long run of excellent comic book films. X-MEN 2, BATMAN BEGINS, THE DARK KNIGHT, IRON MAN, THE INCREDIBLE HULK and SPIDER-MAN 1 & 2 (not that turd of a third).

Pulp Fiction Art: Cheap Thrills & Painted Nightmares (2005)

Director: Jamie McDonald

Starring: REALLY talented artists whose names I've never heard of...until now

More Info: IMDB

Plot: An intimate look at the extraordinary, often ostracized, and now largely forgotten artwork of Pulp Fiction Magazines. For the first time in a documentary film, we take a look at the world of pulp fiction with exclusive images, and interviews with some of the very artists who created these amazing popular culture masterpieces.

My Rating: 8/10

Would I watch it again? Yup


Neat-O. That sums this up nicely. It's 60 minutes of fascinating material covering a little-known and interesting subject. Ever since I was a kid I've seen pictures of pulp magazines and novels from the 30s-50s and I've always marveled at the artwork. They're very colorful and spark the imagination at an instant glance. They compel you to pick them up. It's very much like the now lost art of movie posters...but that's for another day...


Very little of the original artwork has survived. We discover that these really talented artists were poo-poo'd at the time and their output (even admittedly by some of the artists themselves) was considered low-brow, sell-out trash. There's the story in this documentary about one particular publishing house that needed to make room for one reason or another and they literally put hundreds of these paintings by the roadside for the trash collector. Such a tragedy. You'll find lots of interesting info here along with interviews of some of the artists, collectors and admirers. And then there's the plethora of beautiful artwork created to capture your imagination...oh, and to sell magazines!


I have to mention this. The narrator's delivery, despite having a pleasant voice - one that's perfect for this sort of thing, is most annoying as he scoops upward onto A LOT of words making it seem like he's trying too hard. I'm only saying this because it really is very annoying and once you pick up on it you cannot get away from wanting to giggle every time it happens. Still, it's the material and subject that's important here and, despite this somewhat minor issue, it's a total gas to watch.