Daredevil Drivers (1978?)

Director: Yasuhiko Kawano (who also produced and wrote the screenplay)

Starring: Linda Stayer, Chiaki Ohtomo, Akira Kuros and lots of other people you've never heard of. And then there's Baz Bandy!

My Rating: 7/10

Would I watch it again? YES

I picked this one up in a trade from a Swedish collector I deal with from time to time. I knew nothing about it except the title. What a gem!

I've searched everywhere and I can find virtually nothing on it. It's not listed on imdb. I did find a pic of the handbill which the auction seller says is from 1978 (pictured above) but it looks like it's likely from 1972 or near it. And then here's the English trailer on youtube...

This thing is priceless. It's a near non-stop barrage of car stunts as a result of a competition between an American Team and a Japanese team. Kick ass stunt after kick ass stunt unfolds, each usually more thrilling after the other. Not that we need it but there is a story. Ohtomo is thought to be Japanese-American (although he looks more like The Fonz at times than Japanese - and we later learn from a team mate that he's nether Japanese nor American but doesn't say where he's from) and is on the American team. Ohtomo is haunted by the horrific auto accident that caused his sister's death. Linda is a cute young blonde working for the Japanese team that's got the hots for Ohtomo. The problem is Ohtomo let's his sister's death get in the way of going after her sushimi.

"Ayyyyyyyyy"

That doesn't stop Linda. No siree Bob. Once she finds out from another driver what's troubling Ohtomo she moves in for the kill. The dubbing and the acting are laughable but the heartfelt sentiment can be felt in this very touching scene...

Ohtomo has just sat down in his car and looks at a photo of his sister, remembering (in flashback) the accident when Linda walks over, snatches the photo, walks around the car, enters and sits down and says...

Linda: Ohtomo, why don't I replace your sister? Hey, we're off today. Let's go for a ride.

They take off and it doesn't take long before a couple of guys in a Porsche pull up alongside them where one of them says, "You Japanese are fast with women."! Then they start racing. Classic stuff here. And if you think that's remotely funny you should see how they deliver the lines. It's riotous.



It's fucking classic. Not to mention the songs are so sappy and cheesy. Sample this fine lyric..."Love, love, love. It's you, you, you. You're all about my love, love, love...so new." And best of all, it's written & performed by William "Smitty" Smith! Hahahahahaha. Classic. His sole credit on imdb is as a studio musician on THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE (1990), another fun movie. I'd love to interview this guy.



This is a hysterical film in the so bad it's good camp. BUT it's also loaded with car stunts of all kind as well as vintage auto racing and a slew of European sports cars from the 60s and very early 70s. It's a gear-head's dream. I'm not into cars like some of my friends (who LOVE this movie as much as I did) but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It's very entertaining.

UPDATE 7/29/12: You can now watch the entire flick below. Thanks for the heads-up commenter.

White Comanche (1968)

Director: Jose Briz Mendez

Starring: Joseph Cotten, William Shatner

More Info: IMDB

Plot Outline: Shatner plays two roles: cowboy Johnny Moon and his ruthless Indian half-brother, Notah. Notah likes peyote and gets the crazy idea that he's the Comanche messiah sent to lead the Comanche nation against the white man but more specifically the dusty town of Rio Hondo. Moon, estranged from his brother, decides to stop Notah either by words or by bullets.

Here's the first 1:21 with that groovy music...




My Rating: 4/10

Would I watch it again? Only if a widescreen print were made available

NOTE: The pictures you see are taken from the widescreen trailer (under the alternate title of RIO HONDO) that is only available on the OUTSTANDING Wild East DVD, FOR A FEW PREVIEWS MORE. Their source (believe it or not) is considerably better than the one I watched.

Woof. Where to start...well, it's a Shatner movie from 1968, made when he was on hiatus from STAR TREK. Spaghetti Westerns (in this case a better term would be Euro-Westerns since it's a Spanish production) were riding higher than ever at that point and many up-and-coming stars as well as 0n-the-way-down stars were in them. It was a paid trip to Spain and an opportunity to play Cowboys & Indians for money. Why not?

This film is why not. Joseph Cotten is great (as ALWAYS) but Shatner...I mean Shatner as an Indian? W...T...F? If you're familiar with his acting style (especially from back then) then you know how he is in this. He hits the same rhythmic dialogue patterns regardless of...what...he...does.



The budget is obviously hurtin', continuity errors abound (like in the final duel with the mysterious brown/black switching horses), the script is pretty poor considering THE MAJOR TALENT (hahahaha) and then there's the music. It's a jazzy score (doesn't fit) with a walking bass line for way too much of the movie. It gets old REAL fast. Even at 93 minutes it's about 45 too much. Snoozefest. The print I saw was a shit pan & scan, faded color copy I bought for a buck. I have been searching for years looking for a widescreen print of this in any language. If anyone has one or knows where I can get one PLEASE let me know. It'll be the only way I'd ever watch this one again.

How about this choice bit of dialogue near the end (hear Shatner's delivery as you read these)...

Johnny Moon: (to Notah) You are as the wild duck that sits on the pond.



and then there's...

Johnny Moon: Notah is well-named... his liver is white, like his Yankee father... his heart burns blacker than the skin of his Comanche mother. He's white-bellied, like his name..."The Snake."
Notah: Notah's brother talks like the white man he thinks he is. He's afraid... to be Comanche.

I can't tell anyone not to watch it 'cause I wouldn't listen. I mean, shit. It's Shatner as an Indian. How could anyone NOT be tempted?

Don't let the following tantalizing titles cards (from the trailer) deceive you:










Notice the spelling of Bill's name in the last one to make it more European, maybe?

Species (1995)

Director: Roger Donaldson

Starring: The shittiest performances from the following actors: Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker, Marg Helgenberger and the nakedness of Natasha Henstridge.

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: For three million years, the human race has been at the top of the evolutionary ladder. Nothing lasts forever

Plot Outline: A group of four specialists are given the task of tracking down Sil. "She" is part human, part alien, beautiful, strong, very dangerous and desperate to mate with a human.




My Rating: 3/10 - 1 for that's as low as I can go and 1 each for Henstridge's boobs

Would I watch it again? OH, HELL NO!

For sale: One "wished I'd never watched it" Blu-ray copy of SPECIES. - CHEAP!

This is awful. Just awful. Never in my life have I seen so many good (and in some cases "can be good") actors do so poorly. Ben Kingsley is the worst offender of the bunch. His "American" accent is an atrocity. I would've never thought that he could be so bad. The dialogue is lame, a lot of the actors' line readings are the worst possible choices, the action is lame, the character's choices are lame.

The ONLY reason why this movie has a reputation as "one to see" is because there's a naked space chick in it. Henstridge is somewhat attractive (not so much to me - I don't go for that model-look shit) but it's not enough. You want to see the ORIGINAL NAKED SPACE CHICK MOVIE? Go rent LIFEFORCE (1985) and come back and try to tell me that Mathilda May isn't ten times the smokin' hot naked space chick that Henstridge tries to be. Now THAT'S a naked space chick movie. I couldn't help but think the ENTIRE running time of this movie that I would rather be watching/showing my friends LIFEFORCE instead of watching this piece of crap.

This movie is pure rubbish and not worth your time. The only reason to see SPECIES is to witness quality actors (in some cases) at their worst. If you need science fiction space chick masturbatory material, then check out LIFEFORCE. I'm not saying it's a great film but it's a sure-fire better than this one and instead of this...


you get this...


Let the games begin!

Return of the Jedi (1983)

Director: George Lucas

Starring: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The Saga Continues.

Plot Outline: After rescuing Han Solo from the palace of Jabba the Hutt, the Rebels attempt to destroy the Second Death Star, while Luke Skywalker tries to bring his father back to the Light Side of the Force.

My Rating: 7/10

Would I watch it again? I practically have to

I was 14 when this came out in '83 and, for me, it was a mixed bag. To this day I LOVE everything having to do with Vader and the Emperor.

How do you make a STAR WARS sequel worse? Add stupid-ass fucking teddy bears, that's how. My hatred for the Ewoks has grown over the past 25 years to the point that it makes some scenes unwatchable. Besides having god damned teddy bears in it Luca$ ruined so much of the character development that had been established in EMPIRE. Solo has lost his manhood. He's no longer the badass he'd been in the previous films. Ditto to Lando albeit not as much.

The opening Jabba sequence could be good with a few cuts. We don't NEED to see Lando pull his mask down. We KNOW it's him. We don't need a stupid song. it adds nothing but time to an already bloated section of the film. We don't need all these cheep laughs. We will always need Leia and her slave costume, though. Mmmm.

There's way too much comedy, especially with 3PO. I'm sick of that scrap heap - especially after ATTACK OF THE CLONES. The music, which has been exceptional throughout all six films, while still great here, is embarrassing during the final battle with it's poor editing (not Williams' fault, I know) and the obvious use of previous music that had been recorded for STAR WARS (1977). Not to mention the out of tune trumpets during the Sarlac pit sequence and the the missed high notes during the final battle. I'm a musician so these things stand out like the "Special Edition" inclusion of Hayden Christiansen at the end of JEDI. W...T...F? Vomit-inducing it is. Utterly appauling. And when you've spent 20 minutes brushing your teeth to get the taste of puke out of your mouth, you go back and un-pause the DVD to hear Jar Jar saying, during the celebratory add-ons, "We-sa free!" Put that in your ass-pipe and smoke it. Now instead of envisioning Luke tossing Ewoks on the funeral pyre at the end he's got to add Gayden and Jar Jar to stoke the flames.

But I digress. At least he gave us a boob slip...

Rambo (2008)

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Starring: Sylvester Stallone

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Heroes never die.... They just reload.

Plot: In Thailand, John Rambo joins a group of mercenaries to venture into war-torn Burma, and rescue a group of Christian aid workers who were kidnapped by the ruthless local infantry unit.

View Trailer:





My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? OH, HELL YEAH! So far twice in the theater and once on Blu-ray

The tagline for this is great. Here’s mine that pretty much sums it up: PUSSIES, YOU’D BETTER SIT THIS ONE OUT! This movie is 100% Grade-A Man Food. It’s probably the most violent theatrical film I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen some beauts.

I don’t know where to start. It’s nothing short of amazing. That’s right. I was there first show, opening day. I had watched FIRST BLOOD in the past six months and RAMBO II the night before. I LOVED FIRST BLOOD and liked RAMBO II. Part III is still on the horizon. But after seeing how Stallone treated ROCKY BALBOA (I had previously only seen the first two ROCKY films) I was actually excited to see if he would have brought the same tenderness, admiration and care to his other famous character.

He did. I was really taken aback at how serious it was. It has the tone of the first film and the ramped-up violence from the second and third but still maintaining heart, weight, and sense of purpose. From the first few minutes it’s obvious he’s not fucking around with this movie. It’s ON. John Rambo is tired and is used to living his life as he wishes. He knows his shit and doesn’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t. He’s compassionate to those who need help. Well, except for the idiot missionaries that want him to take them into Burma, a war zone for the past 60 years. He’s reluctant because he knows what’s in store but he finally gives in and takes them.

John Rambo doesn’t say much…’cause he doesn’t have to. Stallone does a great job with just his presence. When he comes to the unexpected rescue of the mercenaries sent to save the missionaries it’s ON. Oh, man. Sooooo many people die and in gloriously bloody ways. Good people, too. That helps. Have you ever wanted to see someone rip a man’s throat out with his bare hands? Arrows through all kinds of places? Blood, bone, brains, guts spattered and caked onto anything they’ll stick to? Here’s your chance.

And it’s not just Stallone’s acting, presence or the violence that makes the picture so great. Many of the secondary characters are terrific. All of the mercenaries are interesting – even the asshole leader. He’s especially fun to watch. Sure, the story serves only as a means to kill people but it works. The bad guys are established right from the get go. There’s no getting around the fact that these Burmese bastards deserve their grisly end. I’m OK with that. No problems here.

When Rambo says the word, “Fuck”, it carries a lot of weight. Nice.

Rambo’s actions are completely justified and you can’t help but to respect his reluctance and his subsequent actions. He’s a good man. Just don’t fuck with him and you’ll be OK.



The run time is right at an hour and a half – it FLIES by. Seriously, you close your eyes and you’re done.

It’s entertaining as hell. Several jump out of your seat and scream moments.

The ending is very satisfying.

There is a modest and effective use of Jerry Goldsmith’s beautiful FIRST BLOOD theme.

It’s hard to believe that Stallone has pulled this off at the age of 61!!! Day-um.


It’s clear Stallone has a great reverence for this character and wanted to make this final (?) chapter a tribute to the fans just as he did with ROCKY BALBOA. In the past couple of years I’ve come to really appreciate him as an entertainer. He’s very intelligent and creative and truly appreciates his long and prosperous career and the millions of fans that helped him get there. RAMBO is for those fans.

Over the next couple of weeks following the first show I talked this movie up to so many people I ended up going back for a second shot with a friend and it stood up just as well the second (and later on Blu-ray for a third) time. And I STILL haven’t seen RAMBO III. I know it’ll pale in comparison but it should still be fun. It’s funny that I grew up around these movies and never saw them because I thought they were stupid action movies. Sure, there’s that element of mindless action. But they’re still fun.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Director: George Lucas

Starring: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The Adventure Continues...

Plot Outline: While Luke takes advanced Jedi training from Yoda, his friends are relentlessly pursued by Darth Vader as part of his plan to capture Luke.

My Rating: 10/10

Would I watch it again? Duh?


View Trailer:



How do you make a STAR WARS sequel better? You add lots of character development thereby creating an emotional investment, take us to new worlds and give the supreme badass from the first one (Vader) a superior who's an even bigger badass. They did it in spades for this one.

"What happens on Hoth STAYS on Hoth"

This film is perfect. The special edition version I'm even happy with except I think the additional Wampa stuff is unnecessary. I was 11 when this came out and, to this day as I did back then, I get all choked up when Han is being tortured and later when he's frozen in carbonite. That's right, I'm a total nerd. I can handle it. Bring it on. Even though I list STAR WARS as my number 2 favorite movie to EMPIRE'S number 3 it's only because STAR WARS came first. EMPIRE is the better film. It's mature, serious and perilous. And how about that amazing cliffhanger that we had to wait three years for? Torture. Pure torture for this then 11-year-old.

The Way of the Gun (2000)

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Starring: Benicio Del Toro, Ryan Phillippe, Juliette Lewis, Taye Diggs, James Caan

More Info: IMDB

Plot Outline: Two criminal drifters without sympathy get more than they bargained for after kidnapping and holding for ransom the surrogate mother of a powerful and shady man.

View Trailer:



My Rating: 7/10

Would I watch it again? I suppose

So now I’ve seen it twice and I STILL can’t remember much about it except I liked it. McQuarrie is best known for writing THE USUAL SUSPECTS (1995). Great flick. Here’s his directorial debut and it’s a good one. Not as great as SUSPECTS but good. It’s full of fun characters with sharp post-PULP FICTION dialogue that provides a lot of laughs.

There’s a great scene between Joe (Caan) and Abner (Lewis) where they’re sitting in a car after Abner’s been shot and is dying. It’s very poignant. We know Abner’s breathing his last few breaths when we’re treated to this exchange:


Abner Mercer: She's... she's up there with them... with the doctor and the colored fella. Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry, Joe.

Joe Sarno: There's no, uh... need to be sorry, Abner.

Abner Mercer: I'm dyin'.

Joe Sarno: We'll get somebody right away.

Abner Mercer: No. It's not... not like I'm scared or anything.

Joe Sarno: Listen, Abner...

Abner Mercer: I'm dyin', Joe.
[Nods off for 20 seconds, appears to be dead]

Abner Mercer: Remember that time, the time... that we... aw, jeez.

Joe Sarno: What time?

Abner Mercer: I'm dyin', Joe.

Joe Sarno: I'm sorry, Abner.
[sighs]

Abner Mercer: Joe?

Joe Sarno: Yeah, Abner. I'm right here.

Abner Mercer: If it's not too much trouble, I'd kind of like to be alone.
[Extends hand]

Joe Sarno: [shakes hand] . To 'let live.'
[exits car]

Abner Mercer: [chuckles softly]

HYSTERICAL!!! What a great moment between two great actors.

Now I dig Del Toro and some of the other actors but James Caan and Geoffrey Lewis are the two to watch here. Caan can kick any of these Bozos’ asses any day. Maybe not next Thursday but any other day. Del Toro is great with his line delivery and facial expressions telling you much more than is spoken. Which brings me to something else. This movie is LOADED with great one-liners and repeatable dialogue like…

A woman needs security like a man needs approval.

There’s always free cheese in a mousetrap.

Fifteen million dollars is not money. It’s a motive with a universal adaptor on it.

I promise you a day of reckoning that you won’t live long enough to never forget.

You know what I’m gonna tell god when I see him? I’m gonna tell him I was framed.

We’re not talking about how long you’re gonna live, we’re talking about how slow you’re gonna die.

Great stuff.



Another scene that stands out is at the beginning of the film when our two anti-heroes are sitting on a car in front of a bar when the car’s owner and his girlfriend (wonderfully played by the HUBBA HUBBA Sarah Silverman) confront the two. Silverman mouths off with eighty variations on the word FUCK about how her boyfriend’s gonna kick their asses and so forth. They’ve got guns. The boyfriend doesn’t and backs down quickly while she’s spewing at the mouth. Unbelievably funny. It’s worth watching the movie just for that scene alone.

The film is very stylish and witty but it suffers from it’s two-hour run time at about the 2/3 mark. I can’t quite put my finger on it but it just seemed to drag a bit leading up to the final shootout. Maybe it’s the over abundance of plot twists. And it’s not that it’s complicated because if you pay attention you’ll stay with it. However, if you leave to take a whiz you’re likely to miss something crucial.


Boy is this movie violent! Lots and lots of blood from all sorts of people. It’s over-the-top violence for the most part. It’s Sam Peckinpah violence. And there’s no way these people would have survived these gun battle encounters in real life and walked away from them. James Caan, maybe, because he’s such a badass but that’s it.

It’s not often you come across a good violent action film that REQUIRES you to think. Say, that reminds me, I need to write up my thoughts on RAMBO.