Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Director: Ron Howard

Writers: Lawrence Kasdan, Jonathan Kasdan

Composer: John Powell

Starring: Alden Ehrenreich, Joonas Suotamo, Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Paul Bettany, Jon Favreau, Erin Kellyman, Linda Hunt

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Never tell him the odds.

Plot: During an adventure into the criminal underworld, Han Solo meets his future copilot Chewbacca and encounters Lando Calrissian years before joining the Rebellion.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  Maybe.

SPOILERS ABOUND!!!  YARRRRRR!!!

Halfway through it occurred to me that I was bored and that mostly continued until the end.  I kept waiting for it to get better and it didn't.  I don't think the problem was with the actors.  Ehrenreich was good enough, especially given that he's got the thankless job of trying to fill Harrison Ford's shoes.  Harrelson was fun, Clarke was fine despite her character wasn't that interesting to begin with, Glover did a great Billy Dee Williams impersonation but Lando wasn't much more than window dressing and comic relief and Bettany was rather good as the big baddie despite never leaving HIS FUCKING OFFICE! (at least I can't recall a scene where he does).  Lando's droid, L3, was funny at times and annoying at others.  She suffered from too much screen time and too many jokes.  The action was OK as was the pacing but the biggest problem is with the story and dialogue.  "Look me up sometime.  I'm going to Tatooine.  Some big shot gangster's putting together a crew."  That was pretty clunky.  Also clunky was the dialogue that happened right after Han shoots first.  As if we the fan wouldn't have figured that out.

The movie plays like the screenwriters had a checklist they had to tick off one by one, a list of references from the OT.  And they handle some of them so clumsily that you'd think they were writing this for the most dimwitted movie goer.  It was insulting.  If they absolutely must include them, which they don't, then why not let things happen organically instead of making a big show of it.  Hell, there were a couple that would've only been worse if the character burst suddenly into song about it.  I did thoroughly enjoy Han and Chewie's introduction to each other.  That was one of the few things the movie got right.  But there were so many dumb choices in this picture.  I'm mildly OK with Darth Maul showing up but why the fuck did he have to force pull his lightsaber into the hologram and ignite it?  If you're that dim that you didn't recognize him from THE PHANTOM MENACE, is seeing the dual lightsaber going to be the thing that makes that work for you?  Jesus, the more I talk about this the more I don't like it.  The lighting of most the film was very dim.  I thought this was a problem with the projector until I read online that this was a widespread problem despite what Lucasfilm/Disney says.  It was awful.  Maybe they'll fix that for the home release and I'll someday catch it for free when I borrow it from someone because I'll never buy it.  Now that I think of it I haven't bought any of the Disney Star Wars movies on Blu-ray.  I'm just not that interested.  I have enough friends that own them that I'll probably never need to buy them and I'm OK with that.  Look, I'm not a hater by any stretch.  I wanted this to be good just like I want every movie I see to be good.  This one wasn't up to snuff as an action sci-fi movie much less one that shows the early days of one of screen history's most iconic heroes.  It's not good, it's not bad, it's just OK which is apparently not OK for moviegoers judging by the disappointing box office numbers (as initially projected by Disney).  Come on, people.  Spend some quality time writing a good movie.  That's all anyone cares about.